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Old 11-01-2013, 11:31 PM
 
Location: Newport Beach, California
33,387 posts, read 20,160,217 times
Reputation: 13049

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Quote:
Originally Posted by shortnblack View Post
This forum give me the impression that people have issues, their issues have issues and everyone here offerring advice has issues to go with it, so nobody gets the help they truly need.
LOL Yeah.
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Old 11-02-2013, 04:16 AM
 
33,046 posts, read 22,099,000 times
Reputation: 8970
Quote:
Originally Posted by oh-eve View Post
If you can't afford a few hundreds bucks per month on rent to live with non addicted roomies, then you really got the wrong job.
If you got the wrong job - get a better job.
If you can't get a better job - go to school. If you are really THAT poor, you get tuition assistance.
If you live in an expensive area, move to a cheaper area. My area isn't cheap, but for $400 you get a decent room with decent roommates.


Instead of sitting at home all the time and complain about noises, go outside and find a better job.

Really man, you take poor choices in job and home and then you complain about it but don't do anything to better the situation. No pity for you.

What brought you into that situation? Did a natural disaster destroy your life or an ex scammed you and left you bankrupt? Then you get some pity, otherwise, get your stuff together and stop complaining!!

Oh no, it's worse than you ever imagined.

I'm poor and I can't get tuition assistance, I am one of those evil student loan defaulters Reagan warned you (or your parents) about. I'm paying $100/mo on my student loans but they are still in default so going to school isn't an option for me.

I have no marketable skills (according to temp agencies with which I have applied) so a better job isn't likely either.

The house in which I was living was foreclosed and everyone had to move, not my choice, and lack of money narrowed my choices to only the sucky kind. And the drunk was a laid off construction worker when I moved in - construction WAS in the tank at the time - and it was easy to assume that he'd soon be back to work. Had no idea he'd prefer drinking and burning up all 99 weeks of unemployment insurance and then go on disability. Oh and along the way he got a girlfriend who quit drugs and took up drinking and she moved in and of course she didn't have a job either so they drank all day and started fighting and getting hauled off to jail for DV.

After a couple years of the two of them fighting they broke up and he got himself a new girlfriend, but now #2 is in jail for several months and the old GF has moved back in 'temporarily' because she had to move with nowhere else to move into.

See why I hate my life?

And how does a drunk on probation with no job and no license to drive always have women wrapped around his arm?
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Old 11-02-2013, 04:22 AM
 
33,046 posts, read 22,099,000 times
Reputation: 8970
Quote:
Originally Posted by calipoppy View Post
Yes.

Then why is it that the resident drunk - on probation, no job and no license - always has women wrapped around his arm?
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Old 11-02-2013, 04:27 AM
 
33,046 posts, read 22,099,000 times
Reputation: 8970
Quote:
Originally Posted by OdysseusNY View Post
this forum gives me the impression everyone else isn't qualified to date

The great thing about this forum is that everyone feels qualified to pontificate.
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Old 11-02-2013, 04:31 AM
 
33,046 posts, read 22,099,000 times
Reputation: 8970
Quote:
Originally Posted by NilaJones View Post
I agree that your poverty is not a barrier to dating, but your lack of skill in dealing with your emotions is.

Are you currently attending ACOA meetings? How many times per week?

??? WTF? What skill is required? I lived with it and kept my mouth shut for so many years - that's how I navigated childhood and didn't know any other options - so am I supposed to go back to that? Not sure what good meetings are going to do when I'm back in a toxic environment.
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Old 11-02-2013, 05:34 AM
 
250 posts, read 325,157 times
Reputation: 540
Nobody says youre not qualified to date. You're green flag to go and date whoever you feel an attraction to that is also interested in you as well. In fact, there's probably somebody else out there thats been through/going through the same hell as you,this kindred spirit will probably appreciate your situation as a character building exercise.
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Old 11-02-2013, 06:49 AM
 
Location: USA
6,229 posts, read 5,372,022 times
Reputation: 10643
Yes you do need to make improvements if you wish to date.

I'm just shy of 30, make $9 an hour and have an awkward personality so it's no suprise I have never had a girlfriend.


Sent from my SPH-D710VMUB using Tapatalk
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Old 11-02-2013, 07:02 AM
 
Location: Pa
42,677 posts, read 44,354,101 times
Reputation: 25001
The mummy imotab scene - YouTube

QUOTE=Yellow Jacket;32058177]Many of these high horse imbeciles aren't qualified to date but I won't name names.[/quote]
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Old 11-02-2013, 09:29 AM
 
16,797 posts, read 14,568,982 times
Reputation: 37916
Quote:
Originally Posted by freemkt View Post
Then why is it that the resident drunk - on probation, no job and no license - always has women wrapped around his arm?
You've mentioned this three times. Now I see that this is whole post just another whine about "bad boys" and "nice guys."

You sound completely paralyzed by your negative attitude. You need to do something positive and outside of your comfort zone, and soon, or you will drown.
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Old 11-02-2013, 09:43 AM
 
28,905 posts, read 46,780,000 times
Reputation: 46051
Quote:
Originally Posted by freemkt View Post
By American standards, I'm poor. I rent a room in a house and have no control over who else lives here or who can come over to do their laundry (and run up the utility bills) or the noise level etc. There is a resident drunk who hasn't worked on over five years - back when he worked he worked out a deal where he rents the house and subrents rooms, allowing him to live in the house for practically free. (At one point he messed up and I worked out a cheaper deal paying the landlord directly.)

I was raised by drunks and have 'issues' regarding living with volatile drunks - especially when they have authority over me (he could kick me out of the house during one of his blow-ups). He lost his license to drive (multiple DUI) and as his GF is in jail for several months, he mopes around the house all day and rarely goes out. Since I financially cannot afford to move, I seethe with anger and resentment and negativity.

Posters in this forum give me the impression that my negativity makes me undateable. I'm sure that SOME people have sucky depressing living arrangements. I suppose that not having control over your living environment is sufficient to render one undateable. Does this mean I don't deserve to date until I get more money and a normal living situation?
If you feel you are undeserving to date, then you are.

If you feel you are deserving to date, then you are. For your attitude towards yourself is the first determinant of your desirability. That's why I hate all these Nice Guys threads. The authors of those are not Nice Guys. They are wallowing in self-pity. And self-pity is as big a turn-off in the dating world as an enormous herpes scar on your upper lip.

As far as that other stuff is concerned, that's all on you. If your living situation is that miserable and you can't afford to move, then get a second job. The moment I had a job after leaving college, I rented the cheapest apartment I could find, even though it only had the basics. I worked a second job at night, and still only had enough spending money to go out once a week. But I still dated a lot, because I never really whined about how much suckage was in my life. If I did that in my youth, then you can too. For if you really want out of this situation, you'll find a way. Anything else is just impotent complaining.
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