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Old 11-01-2013, 11:18 AM
Status: "This space for rent." (set 1 day ago)
 
Location: Columbia, SC
7,339 posts, read 4,461,489 times
Reputation: 8861

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Why is the world are you telling us this? You need to tell him! Talk with him. Have a serious heart to heart. It sounds like you might be the one with committment issues though, at least committing to him. He may not realize how much you dislike the teasing. And if you're not ready to meet his family, tell him. It does sound like he's gung ho over a possible relationship while you're in the not so sure mode.
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Old 11-01-2013, 11:18 AM
 
3,067 posts, read 2,515,608 times
Reputation: 3608
Quote:
Originally Posted by Tenshi28 View Post
Think this guy has read a little too much PUA crap stuff somewhere and he's putting it to use with you. Or maybe some friend told him this is the way to go.

Either way, he sounds like a dick to me.
I think ur on to something. The other day I blew him off because he invited me out like 5 hours before and I have a kid so I told him I needed more notice and he was just like "what you need a 3 day advance?" Then he laughed it off and said "sike". I know of the 3 day rule from books so I assume that he might know about it to have brought it up. The thing was when we first met and interacted he did no pua tactics, he even complimented me!!! it was only once I told him that I had a crush on him did this new behavior begin.
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Old 11-01-2013, 11:22 AM
 
12,540 posts, read 12,538,955 times
Reputation: 28901
Quote:
Originally Posted by Faith2187 View Post
I want him to go back to the way he was.
You shouldn't. He has shown you who he is: A cocky game-player who figures you should do all the work because he knows you're interested and it strokes his ego.

Honestly? He sounds like more of a PITA than he's worth. Anyone who plays juvenile games and then behaves that way usually is.

There are millions of single men in this world. Go out and find one who isn't such a child.

Quote:
Originally Posted by Faith2187 View Post
I think ur on to something. The other day I blew him off because he invited me out like 5 hours before and I have a kid so I told him I needed more notice and he was just like "what you need a 3 day advance?" Then he laughed it off and said "sike". I know of the 3 day rule from books so I assume that he might know about it to have brought it up. The thing was when we first met and interacted he did no pua tactics, he even complimented me!!! it was only once I told him that I had a crush on him did this new behavior begin.
Yeah, he's a douchebag, all right. There are better men in this world. MUCH better men.
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Old 11-01-2013, 11:23 AM
 
Location: Barcelona, Spain
281 posts, read 673,863 times
Reputation: 245
Quote:
Originally Posted by Faith2187 View Post
I think ur on to something. The other day I blew him off because he invited me out like 5 hours before and I have a kid so I told him I needed more notice and he was just like "what you need a 3 day advance?" Then he laughed it off and said "sike". I know of the 3 day rule from books so I assume that he might know about it to have brought it up. The thing was when we first met and interacted he did no pua tactics, he even complimented me!!! it was only once I told him that I had a crush on him did this new behavior begin.
Yes, the change in behavior is suspicious, that's why I also thought it could have been a friend's influence. It sounds silly but some people will really listen to some dumb advice.

Either way, seems pretty clear this bs is not your idea of a relationship, perhaps best way is to tell him straight: if he's actually a nice guy and he's just playing dumb little games thinking it's the best way to attract you, then he will just stop and get his act straight. If he doesn't, that's your answer too.
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Old 11-01-2013, 11:40 AM
 
3,067 posts, read 2,515,608 times
Reputation: 3608
Quote:
Originally Posted by Lilac110 View Post
You shouldn't. He has shown you who he is: A cocky game-player who figures you should do all the work because he knows you're interested and it strokes his ego.

Honestly? He sounds like more of a PITA than he's worth. Anyone who plays juvenile games and then behaves that way usually is.

There are millions of single men in this world. Go out and find one who isn't such a child.



Yeah, he's a douchebag, all right. There are better men in this world. MUCH better men.
Lol. The weird thing is that he is very reserved and quiet and very family orientated so I never would have thought he would be cocky because he was so awkward and nervous the first few weeks we were talking. Generally he is very quiet and keeps to himself here at work.
I'm the only one he acts cocky with or teases. Could a friend have influenced him once I told him I liked him, to act like that or did he just get a big head?
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Old 11-01-2013, 11:50 AM
 
811 posts, read 1,040,525 times
Reputation: 1432
Time to up the ante and add 3.5 extra inches to the cleavage.
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Old 11-01-2013, 11:57 AM
 
12,540 posts, read 12,538,955 times
Reputation: 28901
Quote:
Originally Posted by Faith2187 View Post
Lol. The weird thing is that he is very reserved and quiet and very family orientated so I never would have thought he would be cocky because he was so awkward and nervous the first few weeks we were talking. Generally he is very quiet and keeps to himself here at work.
I'm the only one he acts cocky with or teases. Could a friend have influenced him once I told him I liked him, to act like that or did he just get a big head?
He acts like a douchebag because he is a douchebag. Not sure why you're looking for reasons. Put it to you this way: If a friend influences his behavior such that he acts like a douchebag, he's an insecure douchebag. If he has a big head, then he's an egotistical douchebag. Either way, you're getting a douchebag. Doesn't matter what species of douchebag he is. He's part of the genus douchebaggus, and that's all that matters.

But by all means, if you want to sit around spending more time and energy analyzing this guy instead of getting out there and meeting better men, go right ahead. It's your time and energy to waste.
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Old 11-01-2013, 11:58 AM
 
811 posts, read 1,040,525 times
Reputation: 1432
Quote:
Originally Posted by Lilac110 View Post
He acts like a douchebag because he is a douchebag. Not sure why you're looking for reasons. Put it to you this way: If a friend influences his behavior such that he acts like a douchebag, he's an insecure douchebag. If he has a big head, then he's an egotistical douchebag. Either way, you're getting a douchebag. Doesn't matter what species of douchebag he is. He's part of the genus douchebaggus, and that's all that matters.

But by all means, if you want to sit around spending more time and energy analyzing this guy instead of getting out there and meeting better men, go right ahead. It's your time and energy to waste.
I've never seen so many DB's in two paragraphs!
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Old 11-01-2013, 12:01 PM
 
Location: The High Seas
7,379 posts, read 13,358,100 times
Reputation: 11702
I thought 'cocky' was a good thing. My English skills are not so good, being all foreign.
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Old 11-01-2013, 12:08 PM
 
Location: Wisconsin
671 posts, read 824,778 times
Reputation: 837
Quote:
Originally Posted by Faith2187 View Post
That's the thing. I'm not sure if I want a full fledged relationship or just something
more casual. And I admit every now and then I do have this habit of getting insecure and pushing a guy away(I.e avoiding them, telling them to date other people, etc) so I'm not sure if I'm secure enough to be in a serious relationship. That being said I would just like a casual relationship with someone who is mature and kind and if the relationship gradually became serious than that's fine but I'm not in a rush to get committed so quickly in a relationship.. Primarily because I know if I got into something serious right away chances are that because I'm insecure I would sabotage the relationship early on. If I at least take it slow and allow the relationship to build up to something where I feel secure then I'm much more likely to want a serious relationship. I guess my issue is that in the beginning stages of getting to know each other the no compliments, and constant teasing does not make me feel secure. Instead I end up doubting the guy still likes me and pushing him away by telling him to hook up with other girls, avoiding him, etc. (which is what I have done with this guy).

I just want to meet someone in the beginning who is mature and kind and doesn't make me guess about his interest in me.
Then date guys that are closer to 30 but be forewarned that some people never act mature in relationships because they never grow up. Also you need to work on yourself if you're dealing with insecurity issues. If you don't know why you're sabotaging relationships then it's not a good idea to get into any; just date and learn about yourself. He's teasing you because a) he's a jerk and b) you're letting him do it. Set boundaries and stop seeing this guy, he's a jerk and he's not going to change. It's clearly obvious that he doesn't respect you.
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