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I don't even know where to begin. "Emotional-nightmare" doesn't even begin to describe what I've gone through with this girl.
I met her 2 years ago. She flirted with me once at Starbucks and we went out a few times after that. However, when I told her I liked her and went for the kiss, she said "no," pulled away and said we should just be friends. I was crushed. At the same time, I was hopeful if I just stuck with her, she would change her mind.
We remained "friends" for probably a year and a half. She went through flings and boyfriends and I would wait on the rafters, hoping I was next. But it never came. I became extremely disillusioned and started to distance myself from her; not going to clubs or parties when she invited me, talking to her less when we just happened to be in the same place, not returned a call here or there.
I gave up trying to be her boyfriend, and eventually, she gave up trying to be my friend.
Just a few weeks ago, I deleted her from my Facebook friends list. I felt ashamed for "facebook stalking" her; for looking at her status and pictures and longing for her.
She then sent a message to me asking me why I un-friended her. I explained that I still wanted her, but seeing her and not being able to have her only hurt me. She sent an angry response saying she "hated" me for growing away from her, but I didn't respond.
My area isn't that big or crowded. I still see her from time to time at a bar or a club or a party or even at the mall, supermarket and gas station.
Every time I see her, I still want her, and every negative emotion I ever felt comes back and hits me like a brick wall; frustration; loneliness; inferiority; desire unfulfilled.
When we hung out together, I didn't understand why she didn't want me the same way I wanted her. I felt like there was something wrong with me; that I wasn't tall enough, that I wasn't handsome enough, that I wasn't witty, popular or cool enough.
I'm ashamed of the pleas and overtures I made to her. I feel like she must think I'm insane.
Worst of all, I'm ashamed of myself.
I'm ashamed of all the time and energy I put into trying to win her over and failing. I'm ashamed I allowed myself to become so enamored with 1 girl who really, really wasn't all that special. I'm ashamed that I "facebook stalked" her every time we weren't together in person.
WOW....only time will help you now. Find a new hobby and try to mingle within another circle of friends. If nothing else, MOVE lol....I feel for ya, good luck!!
Go find other things to do beside going to the club you know she'll be at.
I think you did the right thing by not responding to her last message. I'm also glad you know you can't be around her or see her and that's how you'll recover.
Start working out, and jog/swim/whatever for cardio. Build youself into the guy that turns some girls on, and freaks others out.
Second, education/career. I put this second because it will take more time, but do what you gotta do to develop your money-making capability, whatever this may be. I don't know you so I can't give specific advice.
Third, work on your appearance beyond fitness. Got any gay friends? They are generally good wardrobe consultants.
Rise above this beyoch, let her eat your dust. When she finally shows interest in you, 5 or 10 years from now, then you serve the dish of revenge stone cold: "Dahm, you have gained some weight, havent' you!"
whats funny about this type of situation to me, is later, if you get involved with someone else. She will show interest. Is a game that little girls like to play.
exactly!!! meet other people. stalker status after a couple dates is not cool.
forget about her. its better not to be friends. she still has control over you so dont give in. just stay away.
there has got to be someone out there for you.
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