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Old 10-31-2013, 05:12 PM
 
17 posts, read 20,969 times
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He has cheated on this girl in the past that she's aware of... It's her choice
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Old 10-31-2013, 05:16 PM
 
17 posts, read 20,969 times
Reputation: 21
Do I have a legitimate argument or am I just wrongly infatuated with this guy?
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Old 10-31-2013, 05:19 PM
 
17 posts, read 20,969 times
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By the way... I've never been with a guy who has a girlfriend. This is a first time for me... I'm really not a heartless *****. I'm confused by my own emotions.
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Old 10-31-2013, 05:43 PM
 
6,758 posts, read 8,278,809 times
Reputation: 6787
Quote:
Originally Posted by coloradostgirl View Post
i have no intension of ruining their relationship. somehow i just feel like if it's not me, then it will be with another girl. if he is ready to physically cheat on her, after what i already feel like is emotional cheating, then they have no real relationship.
If you don't rob the bank down the street, someone else will someday. So, are you going to do it?

Quote:
Originally Posted by coloradostgirl View Post
why should i really care about his girlfriend? it's terrible, but i just don't feel like i "owe" her anything...
She is a living being. This means you do owe her some things. Basic consideration and kindness, for example.
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Old 10-31-2013, 05:48 PM
 
Location: The Great West
2,077 posts, read 2,012,895 times
Reputation: 4068
Quote:
Originally Posted by coloradostgirl View Post
He has cheated on this girl in the past that she's aware of... It's her choice
Just because she knows he's cheated before, that doesn't make it right for you to hook up with her boyfriend.

Don't you want to take the higher ground? And can't you find someone to hook up with who's not in a relationship?

Hey, there are a lot of guys on this forum who are always complaining about their constant singleness. You should hit them up. Really though, many guys don't have girlfriends and you can mess with them without looking like a terrible person or having 'conflicted emotions' about it.
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Old 10-31-2013, 05:59 PM
 
3,201 posts, read 3,556,679 times
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anytime i hear a women say a rediculous phrase like "emotional cheating" i disregard everything else that comes out her mouth
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Old 10-31-2013, 06:25 PM
 
17 posts, read 20,969 times
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from the perspective of his girlfriend, i would think she felt "emotionally cheated" on... no, we have not physically had sex, but i can't imagine she would be thrilled with the types of texts we exchange...
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Old 10-31-2013, 06:28 PM
 
17 posts, read 20,969 times
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i know there are lots of single guys... up until now, i've only been with single guys or else someone i was in a relationship w! i have never been in a situation where someone so close to me, yet in a relationship, was interested in being together. i know me and this guy will never be in a relationship, but i am so emotionally attached to him from our deep friendship that i would consider going thru w it
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Old 10-31-2013, 06:32 PM
 
Location: Chicago
3,395 posts, read 3,725,958 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by coloradostgirl View Post
there is a guy and we are very close... he has a girlfriend, and i've met her plenty of times. no issues there. she seems to be okay with me and her boyfriend's friendship. lately, things have been changing with me and this guy... he has started getting very flirty and while i haven't flirted a lot back, i haven't done anything to shut him down. obviously, this is not a guy i would ever date. (he has a girlfriend, and flirts w/ me... not very committed or loyal) i've really been thinking lately about if he tried something, what would i do? at this point, i would hook up with him. i just would. i don't see anything wrong with this morally, which scares me. am i a horrible person?
I don't know if that would make you a "horrible" person, but it would make you a bit of a callous and selfish one. What has this guy's GF ever done to you to deserve having her feelings disregarded by you? Deceiving someone into thinking they are in a monogamous relationship while secretly hooking up with people on the side is wrong. That you can't see that is troubling. It is like you cannot put yourself in that woman's situation or empathize with her feelings at all. Again, very callous and selfish.
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Old 10-31-2013, 06:45 PM
 
393 posts, read 394,588 times
Reputation: 303
Quote:
Originally Posted by RogersParkGuy View Post
I don't know if that would make you a "horrible" person, but it would make you a bit of a callous and selfish one. What has this guy's GF ever done to you to deserve having her feelings disregarded by you? Deceiving someone into thinking they are in a monogamous relationship while secretly hooking up with people on the side is wrong. That you can't see that is troubling. It is like you cannot put yourself in that woman's situation or empathize with her feelings at all. Again, very callous and selfish.
I don't think everything is a matter of "deserving." Most people don't deserve to be dumped, but that doesn't mean you shouldn't be able to dump someone if you don't want to be with them.

And empathy is a two way street. Is it so hard to empathize with someone in the position of the OP? People aren't boxes of cereal--we're often attracted to a particular person and we can't just find an identical copy of them if they happen to have a SO/spouse.
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