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As long as you don't let him mess with your heart. If you are a cheater and a home breaker by being a mistress, then that is what you choose to be. If they have got open relationship and they are both free to have sex around then not anyones business. But if she would not want to be cheated on and you are cheating her by having sex with her boyfriend.. Then shame on you and her boyfriend. Maybe fate saw you 2 cheater type hook uppers would make a better couple? Never know.
isn't it her choice to be in a relationship with a guy who doesn't place high value on commitment? if not me, then i feel like it will be another girl and i really like this guy as a friend, and am very physically attracted to him
It's pretty clear you've already made up your mind. You wanna jump his bones, you don't need validation from a message board.
While I do agree that it's less severe to cheat on a girlfriend than on a wife, cheating is still cheating. If there is an expectation of faithfulness and exclusivity in a relationship, then cheating is wrong.
If you got married in a culture where there was an expectation of marriage being permanent, would it be wrong to divorce your spouse later on? The idea that one must conform to expectations is problematic.
Location: RI, MA, VT, WI, IL, CA, IN (that one sucked), KY
41,938 posts, read 36,935,179 times
Reputation: 40635
Quote:
Originally Posted by alaskaboy
There are natural and normal things that happen in our DNA and thought processes that will not allow us to just be friends with a woman. Even if that's all we are allowed to be, is just friends, our minds are thinking other things. It's biologically the way we are wired and why so many of us guys get into trouble and why smart women know not to let their guy have "lady friends"
Sorry, you have to speak for yourself. One of my best friends of 20+ years is a woman I've never ever thought of romantically. Kind of gives me the shudders considering it, and she is not ugly. I have several others less lengthy. One is a total babe (known her about 10 years) and as I became friends with her I became less attracted (I didn't really know her until we shared an office at work, before she was eye candy) even though she is totally awesome. Chemistry happens like that sometimes.
there is a guy and we are very close... he has a girlfriend, and i've met her plenty of times. no issues there. she seems to be okay with me and her boyfriend's friendship. lately, things have been changing with me and this guy... he has started getting very flirty and while i haven't flirted a lot back, i haven't done anything to shut him down. obviously, this is not a guy i would ever date. (he has a girlfriend, and flirts w/ me... not very committed or loyal) i've really been thinking lately about if he tried something, what would i do? at this point, i would hook up with him. i just would. i don't see anything wrong with this morally, which scares me. am i a horrible person?
Horrible? I reserve that term for people like Hitler, Pol Pot, child molesters, people who commit domestic violence, most felons, religious zealots, right-wing radio hosts, and the people who run Wall Street.
However, it does seem like you have no empathy for how his girlfriend might feel, a bit too much self-absorption if you're willing to do something so ethically dubious just to suit your own ego, and insecure if you find it acceptable to be someone's side dish. Integrity and self-respect would dictate that you put some distance between yourself and this man. That you're here asking people about this means your conscience is trying to tell you something. Listen to it.
there is a guy and we are very close... he has a girlfriend, and i've met her plenty of times. no issues there. she seems to be okay with me and her boyfriend's friendship. lately, things have been changing with me and this guy... he has started getting very flirty and while i haven't flirted a lot back, i haven't done anything to shut him down. obviously, this is not a guy i would ever date. (he has a girlfriend, and flirts w/ me... not very committed or loyal) i've really been thinking lately about if he tried something, what would i do? at this point, i would hook up with him. i just would. i don't see anything wrong with this morally, which scares me. am i a horrible person?
You aren't horrible, you just have no self esteem. Only a woman of low self esteem would voluntarily become some guy's entertainment... being a side piece is being someone's sexual bandaid. It's sad.
It's obviously bothering you on some level or you wouldn't be posting here asking about it. That's something to think about. I'm betting once you hook up with him, you won't like yourself much. Think about whether it's really worth it, just for a piece. I dunno, do what you want I guess. You don't really owe anyone anything, but you do have to live with yourself and your actions. If that's the sort of person you want to be, then be it. I'm not the moral police and I don't know you. But think about how you would feel if you were the girlfriend. Wouldn't it be better to just stay away and be the better person? Wouldn't it be better to try to have a better self-esteem? Or hell maybe getting some bonin' is worth it to you. Maybe you would enjoy being "that girl". I dunno, I'm not you, but think about it for awhile.
isn't it her choice to be in a relationship with a guy who doesn't place high value on commitment? if not me, then i feel like it will be another girl and i really like this guy as a friend, and am very physically attracted to him
I agree with you. Why should you be the moral police on this guy. Hook up with him if you want!
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