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View Poll Results: Dating someone with kids?
Yes 33 41.77%
No 46 58.23%
Voters: 79. You may not vote on this poll

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Old 11-14-2013, 10:52 PM
 
10,026 posts, read 9,197,205 times
Reputation: 5893

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Quote:
Originally Posted by scorpioqueen View Post
I met a guy the other day he is 12 years older than me, I am 36. We were talking for about an hour he told me he has 3 kids by 3 different women (24-in military, 21-with a baby and 10), he expressed to me that he did not want anything from me as he had his own home, car, gainful employment, etc. He stated he is at the point in his life he just wants to love and be loved (I am paraphrasing) and just want to share life (I have no kids). I did not get to really hear everything as we were both sitting in our cars with the windows down because it was pouring rain and we were straining to hear one another over that and the traffic passing by.

He told me his work hours, where he goes after work on Fridays, offered for me to follow him to his house so that I would know where he lived since I told him I was new in town and not too familiar with the area; he even offered to cook. In hindsight I thought it was sweet but have not called him, I've been weighing the 3 kids thing but understand we all have done things and can attribute it to youthful indiscretion. I had been contemplating meeting him for coffee or something to have a decent conversation without all of the distractions to see where things go without any expectations but am still on the fence.
A person with multiple baby mamas they didn't marry is a huge red flag. Run before you become baby mama 4.
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Old 11-15-2013, 10:52 AM
 
862 posts, read 1,149,085 times
Reputation: 915
Quote:
Originally Posted by Elained10 View Post
Us single mothers arent so bad are we? lol the way some people go on we may as well be axe murderers lol

Good luck with your new situation, If you embrace the child and spend time with her you will see just how great they are........ I hope it works out
Some single moms are awesome women. Others not so much.

I never, ever stay with the ones who are just looking for a baby-daddy because it usually means I will be replaced sooner there after. Come to think of it, I don't stay in relationships with single moms or actively seek them out. Too dangerous and too emotionally painfuil especially if you get cornered by her and her kids. I can't be bothered to hand out discipline to another womans kids. It's worse when she's present because I've seen the replacement dad get a verbal whiplashing from both the mom and kids for tyring to play the role of father. They will quickly reassure him that he's not the father of the kids and it's not his busines to try and raise them.

SO, no thanks not for me. These women can be fun but the honeymoon doesn't always last. Most of the time it ends rather quickly and on bad terms. Why involve myself with a woman like that? It's not like she would have chosen me to be the father in the first place. I'm all that she can get in her life now which is why she looks my way.
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Old 11-15-2013, 12:06 PM
 
10,026 posts, read 9,197,205 times
Reputation: 5893
I've never seen single parents called ax murderers or implied as being close to that. However, many single parents carry so much baggage that it is hard for those without kids to handle it. This makes sense because having kids and not having them are two completely different lifestyles. Some don't care if their lifestyle changes to adapt to a new family, but others resent it because it will affect their life often with no positive benefit. Honestly, I see no positive benefit to a childless person marrying someone with kids because often that person will be forced to support financially or emotionally kids and even an ex they had no involvement with. I don't want to have to give my money to another family or worse an ex. I don't want to have to change my plans for someone else's kids or ex. Not to mention morals, I disapprove of out of wedlock pregnancies so I would wonder why he didn't marry his baby mama or why he didn't stay married as I generally oppose divorce as well.

Harsh? perhaps but I can't help but wonder how things would be if more people really made a commitment to the person they had kids with. I realize some relationships aren't meant to be together but others just give up or in the case of multiple baby mamas/daddies they don't put careful consideration in the person they had babies with then expect innocent bystanders to take over that role.
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Old 11-16-2013, 07:51 PM
 
42 posts, read 36,641 times
Reputation: 34
I have dated someone who has had kids you just have to accept that too them most likely there kids come first
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