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Over time I've noticed that women often like men to be honest with them and it really upsets them when men lie. At the same time I've met very few honest women.
Oddly.. a lot of women are honest in their professional and family life but very dishonest in their social and dating life. Most women lie to their boyfriends and husbands almost compulsively. And when I say "lie" I don't necessarily mean blunt obvious lies. I'm talking more about:
- Lies through omission (leaving out information that will let the man make an educated decision)
- Acting (pretending you have a headache to avoid sex. Flirting to get him to buy you stuff. Emotional dishonestly)
- Manipulation (If you loved me you would do this. Are your friends more important than me?Silent treatment. Waiting to respond to calls/texts)
The bottom line is.. women are not totally upfront with men about what they want or where a man stands with them. There are so many men in the "friend zone" for this reason. If those men truly knew they had no chance with that woman they would leave her alone.
This is not complaining. I have no problems attracting and dating women at all. I'm mostly posting this to ask why women expect honestly from men. I find that my success with women is a result of doing all the things women say they hate. I'm just rebellious like that. If you tell me I can't do something I will do it more.
If I'm on a date with a woman and she gives me a list of qualities she wants and expects in a man.. I will do the total opposite of that. Yet I'll still end up sleeping with her.
Okay. Whenever I see a post that has the phrase "Most women" or "Most men," I know that I'm encountering someone who is naive about the subject.
Women are honest. Women are mendacious. Women are principled. Women are unethical. It all depends on the woman you are discussing. And to lump women together in one big box reveals a mechanistic view of the world that will lead to a lot of unrewarding relationships. Everybody I've ever known who tried to define women as a group, complete with convoluted theories, wound up never having any woman in his life for very long. Because they consider women in the abstract rather as flesh-and-blood people.
What's more, your vocabulary needs a bit of a tuneup. All people, yourself included, stroll through life believing one thing about themselves while the rest of the world thinks something different. For example, in a study a few years back, 93% of all Americans put them in the top 50% of drivers. Obviously this is mathematically impossible. But the people who responded to the question believed they were telling the truth. You really need to understand this point before you start talking about supposed dishonesty of people.
It doesn't matter. A woman will only know you have no experience if you tell her. So find a girl you can practice with.. get the experience.. then move on.
Okay. Whenever I see a post that has the phrase "Most women" or "Most men," I know that I'm encountering someone who is naive about the subject.
Women are honest. Women are mendacious. Women are principled. Women are unethical. It all depends on the woman you are discussing. And to lump women together in one big box reveals a mechanistic view of the world that will lead to a lot of unrewarding relationships. Everybody I've ever known who tried to define women as a group, complete with convoluted theories, wound up never having any woman in his life for very long. Because they consider women in the abstract rather as flesh-and-blood people.
What's more, your vocabulary needs a bit of a tuneup. All people, yourself included, stroll through life believing one thing about themselves while the rest of the world thinks something different. For example, in a study a few years back, 93% of all Americans put them in the top 50% of drivers. Obviously this is mathematically impossible. But the people who responded to the question believed they were telling the truth. You really need to understand this point before you start talking about supposed dishonesty of people.
You sound upset.
I'm just talking from my own life experience. We all shape our beliefs and opinions about the world from our experiences. How else? I can only have beliefs about women based on what I've experienced in dealing with them. When I have different experiences then by beliefs will change.
I'm just talking from my own life experience. We all shape our beliefs and opinions about the world from our experiences. How else? I can only have beliefs about women based on what I've experienced in dealing with them. When I have different experiences then by beliefs will change.
I'm not upset. Heck, I'm not even slightly annoyed. I'm more shaking my head at the abject nonsense that people believe. Because guys who subscribe to these kinds of beliefs wind up bitter and alone, blaming the world for their state in life when it was they themselves who created it.
Here's the gigantic fallacy with what you just wrote. You state that you derive your attitudes from your experiences when, in truth, it's the exact opposite. Instead, our attitudes provide the prism through which we view our experiences and the lessons which we derive from them. The biases are hard-wired in.
You remind me of a guy I knew in my twenties. He had the Grand Theory of Women. Women would behave in a certain way in a certain situation. Women wanted X, so you need to say Y in order to get them.
However, my friend was a total failure when it came to women. Because, like you, he was always wanting to rely on his own theories to understand what a woman was saying or what a woman was doing. Last time I heard, he was living with his elderly mother at age 58. One marriage that lasted all of six months.
I have been married for 23 years. Before meeting my wife, I dated a lot and had plenty of long-term relationships with some really great women. I have women who are long-time friends and women who are long-time colleagues.
And, guess what? There has never been an end-all, be-all rule book to deal with any of them. As a matter of fact, the opposite has proved to be true. They are all about as different as can be, which means they have to be treated as individuals with widely divergent desires, interests, tastes, and goals.
So the sooner you learn this simple fact, the less mystifying women will be to you. And the less likely you'll want to post some grotesque and unflattering simplification about them on a message board.
I'm not upset. Heck, I'm not even slightly annoyed. I'm more shaking my head at the abject nonsense that people believe. Because guys who subscribe to these kinds of beliefs wind up bitter and alone, blaming the world for their state in life when it was they themselves who created it.
Here's the gigantic fallacy with what you just wrote. You state that you derive your attitudes from your experiences when, in truth, it's the exact opposite. Instead, our attitudes provide the prism through which we view our experiences and the lessons which we derive from them. The biases are hard-wired in.
You remind me of a guy I knew in my twenties. He had the Grand Theory of Women. Women would behave in a certain way in a certain situation. Women wanted X, so you need to say Y in order to get them.
However, my friend was a total failure when it came to women. Because, like you, he was always wanting to rely on his own theories to understand what a woman was saying or what a woman was doing. Last time I heard, he was living with his elderly mother at age 58. One marriage that lasted all of six months.
I have been married for 23 years. Before meeting my wife, I dated a lot and had plenty of long-term relationships with some really great women. I have women who are long-time friends and women who are long-time colleagues.
And, guess what? There has never been an end-all, be-all rule book to deal with any of them. As a matter of fact, the opposite has proved to be true. They are all about as different as can be, which means they have to be treated as individuals with widely divergent desires, interests, tastes, and goals.
So the sooner you learn this simple fact, the less mystifying women will be to you. And the less likely you'll want to post some grotesque and unflattering simplification about them on a message board.
You don't seem to grasp what I'm saying. Women are not "mystifying" to me at all.
Also I never said this is a "be all end all" view. I never used the word "ALL" because I'm fully aware that some women will deviate from these behaviors. However, most women I've known and most women I observed are not honest in their sexual relationships.
I've already stated that I am not complaining.. nore do I have any problems attracting or dating women. In the future, please read EVERYTHING before you respond. It saves us all a lot of time.
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