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Old 11-03-2013, 10:46 AM
 
14,443 posts, read 17,374,738 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by supermanpansy View Post
I'm sorry to hear about your frustrations. It's not easy. Everyone is lonely sometimes. I heard a long time ago and I have always liked this advice. Whenever you are too much in your own head, go do something nice/ kind for someone else. I find this really works. It takes you out of your own problems and it makes you feel good to do for others. You can volunteer, help a neighbor, or anything that involves doing for others. When you are thinking about others, it is almost impossible to feel bad for yourself. Not saying that you are feeling bad for yourself. We all do this sometimes. It is healthy. But, helping others helps to make you feel better.
That's a great idea.
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Old 11-03-2013, 11:55 AM
 
16,797 posts, read 14,545,698 times
Reputation: 37906
Quote:
Originally Posted by srjth View Post
That's a great idea.
Yes, one he has heard a million times before and never tries.
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Old 11-03-2013, 12:03 PM
 
6,756 posts, read 8,315,517 times
Reputation: 6787
Has anyone mentioned circus arts yet?

They are an extremely popular form of exercise among the under 30 crowd, where I live. There are classes, and also free groups who meet in the park Lots of physical contact .
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Old 11-03-2013, 12:57 PM
 
Location: Mountains of Oregon
15,322 posts, read 17,778,734 times
Reputation: 10672
Quote:
Originally Posted by *Sixy* View Post
I wasn't assuming everyone likes cats or children, I was simply making a suggestion. Point being, there are other ways to get affection, but you have to figure out what will work for you. I happen to like cats and children so that works for me.
I like cats & dogs & children & moms too......

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Old 11-03-2013, 01:04 PM
 
Location: State of Transition
78,711 posts, read 70,579,935 times
Reputation: 76686
Quote:
Originally Posted by TheHurricaneKid View Post
I know I am desperate, but knowledge of desperation doesn't cure my craving for human contact. These days, I just wish I had someone to hug, hold hands, and look into their eyes. It's been months since I've last got a hug. Friends, work, hobbies, food, pornography cannot satisfy this empty hole in my heart.
Getting a massage will help a little with the need for physical touch. Granted, it's not a hug (although there are hugging services turning up around the US, I've noticed...), but it's at least gentle touch, and it can help you de-stress, and get some good endorphins going.

You're not alone, Kid. Most people go through this. It's part of being human. If you're ruminating on it, change your thought patterns. Don't dwell on it.
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Old 11-03-2013, 01:35 PM
 
7,982 posts, read 5,995,169 times
Reputation: 5629
Quote:
Originally Posted by lovesMountains View Post
You aren't SUPPOSED to get rid of this craving

Human beings are designed to need touch and intimacy with others (and not just sexually).

Here's what you do kid, get yourself over to the nearest senior retirement/nursing home first thing tomorrow afternoon.

Tell the director you'd like to visit with someone who doesn't get many visitors.

I guarantee you there are people even lonelier than you right now who would be happy to spend some time visiting and then give you a great big hug when you leave.

In other words, GET OUT OF OUR ON HEAD AND QUIT THINKING ONLY OF YOURSELF.

The quickest way in life to get what you think you need is to be willing to give it to others FIRST.

Loves. did you hypnotize me while I was sleep or something back in March?


(I realized the bolded back in that month, Changed my life.)
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Old 11-03-2013, 01:41 PM
 
Location: So Cal
40,466 posts, read 39,987,496 times
Reputation: 41921
Quote:
Originally Posted by lovesMountains View Post
The quickest way in life to get what you think you need is to be willing to give it to others FIRST.
One of the fundamental things in life. "You get what you give" applies to many many things....

Good post, as usual.
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Old 11-03-2013, 01:50 PM
 
7,982 posts, read 5,995,169 times
Reputation: 5629
Quote:
Originally Posted by Mightyqueen801 View Post
I can relate. Those of us who navigate this life solo can go for weeks, months, without anyone touching us. Well, I do shake hands a lot at meetings at work, but that's not quite the same!

A few months ago, I was a bit taken aback when during our coffee hour after church one of the other women was saying goodbye and she came up to me and said, "Let me give you a hug. Single people don't get regular hugs so I think you could use one." It really threw me, because it was true and because she had the sensitivity to even think of it. I recoiled a bit at first, because it seemed as if someone had pointed out something that was some sort of secret shame--when you are one of the people that nobody wants to touch, you build a wall around yourself, and it can feel weird when someone breaches it.

Anyway, it was nice to get a hug. I hope you get one soon, too.
I can relate.
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Old 11-03-2013, 01:54 PM
 
7,982 posts, read 5,995,169 times
Reputation: 5629
Quote:
Originally Posted by supermanpansy View Post
I'm sorry to hear about your frustrations. It's not easy. Everyone is lonely sometimes. I heard a long time ago and I have always liked this advice. Whenever you are too much in your own head, go do something nice/ kind for someone else. I find this really works. It takes you out of your own problems and it makes you feel good to do for others. You can volunteer, help a neighbor, or anything that involves doing for others. When you are thinking about others, it is almost impossible to feel bad for yourself. Not saying that you are feeling bad for yourself. We all do this sometimes. It is healthy. But, helping others helps to make you feel better.
Yeah, I can testify to that.
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Old 11-03-2013, 02:04 PM
 
Location: Windham County, VT
10,626 posts, read 4,946,822 times
Reputation: 20840
Quote:
Originally Posted by Ruth4Truth View Post
Getting a massage will help a little with the need for physical touch. Granted, it's not a hug (although there are hugging services turning up around the US, I've noticed...), but it's at least gentle touch, and it can help you de-stress, and get some good endorphins going.
There's nothing wrong with the suggestion, the problem is that many people cannot afford paying for massage-
and certainly not with the frequency one would like, say on a daily basis.

Plus, if I got a massage from a professional, that sort of intimacy on a physical level
would make me feel emotional attachment toward the person, which would be inappropriate & problematic.
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