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Old 11-04-2013, 08:16 AM
 
3,637 posts, read 2,698,018 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by lovesMountains View Post
It's not a "generalization" - it's a proven scientific fact.

Touch is much more important than you apparently know.
It has it's uses. And its effects. I do not think we are "designed" to need it however (or designed at all) - and I do not think that it is a requirement for any kind of happiness or emotional development like you suggest.

By all means however present us a study that double blind splits people into groups - assigning touch and lack of touch trials to each of them - and shows a disparity in their health differences over all as a group along the lines of this single controlled difference.

It is you after all - no one else - that declared it a "proven scientific fact" so by all means cite the peer reviewed papers that support that assertion.

Quote:
Originally Posted by TheHurricaneKid View Post
I know I am desperate, but knowledge of desperation doesn't cure my craving for human contact. These days, I just wish I had someone to hug, hold hands, and look into their eyes. It's been months since I've last got a hug. Friends, work, hobbies, food, pornography cannot satisfy this empty hole in my heart.
Rather than seek to avoid the craving - why not seek to address why it is absent? What exactly is it you crave and why are you not getting it exactly in your opinion?

You could explore some of the less woo contemplative literature however. There are people who have isolated themselves in caves for large stretches of time – and contrary to Lovesmountains’ expectations - or asserted from nowhere “scientific facts” - have returned to us espousing all manner of degrees of happiness and joy. All suggesting that human happiness does not -have- to always be contingent on the things many people assert from pedastals that it has to be.
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Old 11-04-2013, 08:53 AM
 
22,769 posts, read 26,219,013 times
Reputation: 14558
Quote:
Originally Posted by TheHurricaneKid View Post
I know I am desperate, but knowledge of desperation doesn't cure my craving for human contact. These days, I just wish I had someone to hug, hold hands, and look into their eyes. It's been months since I've last got a hug. Friends, work, hobbies, food, pornography cannot satisfy this empty hole in my heart.
you sound like you need a labrador retriever and a hooker
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Old 11-04-2013, 09:02 AM
 
14,443 posts, read 17,374,738 times
Reputation: 11240
Quote:
Originally Posted by Mightyqueen801 View Post
I can relate. Those of us who navigate this life solo can go for weeks, months, without anyone touching us. Well, I do shake hands a lot at meetings at work, but that's not quite the same!

A few months ago, I was a bit taken aback when during our coffee hour after church one of the other women was saying goodbye and she came up to me and said, "Let me give you a hug. Single people don't get regular hugs so I think you could use one." It really threw me, because it was true and because she had the sensitivity to even think of it. I recoiled a bit at first, because it seemed as if someone had pointed out something that was some sort of secret shame--when you are one of the people that nobody wants to touch, you build a wall around yourself, and it can feel weird when someone breaches it.

Anyway, it was nice to get a hug. I hope you get one soon, too.
That was so sweet!
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Old 11-04-2013, 06:19 PM
 
Location: State of Transition
78,733 posts, read 70,579,935 times
Reputation: 76713
Quote:
Originally Posted by monumentus View Post
It has it's uses. And its effects. I do not think we are "designed" to need it however (or designed at all) - and I do not think that it is a requirement for any kind of happiness or emotional development like you suggest.

There are people who have isolated themselves in caves for large stretches of time – and contrary to Lovesmountains’ expectations - or asserted from nowhere “scientific facts” - have returned to us espousing all manner of degrees of happiness and joy. All suggesting that human happiness does not -have- to always be contingent on the things many people assert from pedastals that it has to be.
Baby monkeys who are cuddled while growing up become happy, healthy adults. Those who aren't cuddled die before reaching adulthood.

What people who have isolated themselves in caves for a long time would those in your last paragraph be? Many of the Tibetan lamas who do that are sociopaths, fyi. I know a psychologist who lived in India for 10 years and studied them. The monastic environment they're raised in tends to be a sociopath factory.
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Old 11-04-2013, 06:23 PM
 
35,324 posts, read 25,184,015 times
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A BJ does the trick for me for awhile
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Old 11-04-2013, 07:11 PM
 
Location: socal
630 posts, read 895,105 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by stepka View Post
Naw listen kid, I've got a great suggestion for you--try contra or square dancing. I tell my friends that it's like getting one big group hug all night b/c you're swinging in the arms of your partner all evening plus you're swinging with your neighbors too. I went in hoping to get a date and realized I was just trying to fill a hole in my life and the dancing did that nicely. It's not as dorky as you'd think and the bands are usually very high quality--it's worth going just to hear the music. Oh yeah, and there are generally plenty of men and women--you won't feel funny I promise.
best advice ever
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Old 11-04-2013, 07:23 PM
 
Location: socal
630 posts, read 895,105 times
Reputation: 916
OP or try swing dancing or salsa theres always a shortage of men in those classes
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Old 11-04-2013, 09:37 PM
 
Location: St. Louis
9,597 posts, read 17,179,613 times
Reputation: 13425
Quote:
Originally Posted by stan4 View Post
Your friends cannot hug you?
Quote:
Originally Posted by John13 View Post
Don't assume everyone likes cats and children.

I get and can relate to what the OP is saying.
This points to the problem in our society of men being left out of the fold I think. Men don't as a rule go around hugging each other--I know some who do but they're few and far between. My friend the cuddler told me that he loves to cuddle with children (not for perverted reasons and I believed him) but of course we know where that would lead to in today's society. If I were a male teacher I'd be dodging the hugs and not thru choice. It's for good reasons but dang it, the perverts ruined love for the rest of the men and I'm sorry for those of you who lost out. The best years of my life were spent hugging and snuggling with my children and that feeling will carry me on for a long while.

Anyway, I've always said Americans are the loneliest people on earth.
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Old 11-04-2013, 09:56 PM
 
3,965 posts, read 4,610,045 times
Reputation: 3657
Pull yourself together OP. It's not that big of a deal.
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Old 11-04-2013, 10:43 PM
 
Location: Oakland, CA
27,171 posts, read 29,674,744 times
Reputation: 26666
Quote:
Originally Posted by freemkt View Post
You'd look really cute doing a ferris wheel!
I remember that! Square dancing always reminds me of grade school and middle school. You'd always have to dance with that kid who didn't use deodorant. :P


On an autocorrecting iDevice.
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