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It depends on the person, I masturbate almost every day, but I'm still able to get an erection when I'm with a girl that I like. The only times in my life I've had issues getting one is when I'm with a girl I really like and I get nervous, but after I get to know her a little bit better it comes naturally. Alcohol can put a hamper on it if you have a lot, they call it "whiskey d!ck".
Why do you want to go out so bad with a woman you don't even like that much?
I only went on three dates with her, so I didn't really know her that well. I really liked her and I do find her attractive. But I think about her a lot, and in hindsight, I wish we only had dinner on Friday night and tried to have sex on some other night.
Serious question: were you able to give her an orgasm in other ways?
I did get her to orgasm Mod cut: Not PG-13. , and I was able to pleasure her, but I could tell that she was frustrated because I couldn't get an erection. She said that our bodies need to know each other, so I was under the impression that we would try again some other time after we got to know each other. That is why I didn't expect her to end it so suddenly yesterday. She said that it wasn't because of this, but let's be honest.
I'll spare you my embarrassingly large number of sexcapades. I have on occasion suffered "performance" issues. Whether it was too much booze, lights off, or trying to make myself go blind, I don't know. However, the quickest cure for me was to call up another woman, go catting in the bar, or some other prime location and have hate sex with a complete stranger. The quickest way to forget about performance problems with one woman is to find another woman and win the Olympic Decathlon, pulls shirt over head, runs all about the room yelling, "Goaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa!"
I've had quite a few first time performance problems, and with few exceptions the girls were quite patient because they were into me. I was almost always given a second chance, usually the very same night or the next day. I just wouldn't worry about her. If it is the crux of the problem, she's done with you, so move on. Do not text, do not date, do not go out to eat with her. If she calls you again, just snub her off! Going back to women who aren't interested or treat you like you're a paddle ball
The alcohol doesn't help you getting an erection. If you've had problems performing in the past, it's best to avoid doing anything that may prohibit your ability to perform when you know you're going to see a woman later that night that you have romantic interests in.
The other bad thing you did was panic, and you felt as if you were under pressure to perform. That's not good either because now you're thinking about it, and it's never a good thing to think about, getting hard that is.
masturbating 4 days before this night happened isn't an issue, your body would have recovered the next day or even the day after, so that won't be the problem here.
Chalk this experience up to panicing and alcohol and start fresh with another girl, and stop thinking about this night.
You are overthinking this and making a bigger deal out of it than you should. If you continue to do that you will continue to have problems. All men at some point have this happen. Yes, it could have been too much alcohol or it could have been you were too tired, or both. It might have been that it was your first time with her and you were anxious. The bottom line is it happened, and according to you it has happened before. I do not think your relationship would have continued very long with her even if you had not had sex last night. She wasn't sure she was interested long before you had sex and told you so. You did not accept that and pushed it. I don't think it was meant to be anyway, and doesn't have anything to do with your lack of performance. Just remember this happens to men now and then and to not get so caught up in it all. if you are with a woman for the first time try to not drink a lot, take your time and relax and don't mentally set yourself up for failure.
If this is a new experience, it could have been due to almost anything. It's not unusual. Give yourself a break. Back off on the pressure. The more anxious you become, the more likely it is to happen again.
Last night, I went to dinner with this woman whom I was attracted to. It was our third date. We had appetizers and drinks, and we talked for awhile about her time with her daughter on Halloween. We also talked about future careers and applying for jobs. Everything was going great at dinner. We went to my apartment afterwards and had some wine. We kissed and I tasted her breasts and made love to her in many ways. It was the first time I made love to this person beyond kissing. But after we took our clothes off, I tried to have sex with her, but I couldn't get an erection.
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You were nervous so I can totally see that. And alcohol can negatively affect performance. How much did you have? And you're not the first.
but- worry and stress will perpetuate this ... the brain is the biggest sex organ,,,,clean up some demons and baggage issues, and you will be much more confident about drilling in the promise-land
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