U.S. CitiesCity-Data Forum Index
Go Back   City-Data Forum > General Forums > Relationships
 [Register]
Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
View detailed profile (Advanced) or search
site with Google Custom Search

Search Forums  (Advanced)
Reply Start New Thread
 
Old 11-04-2013, 03:15 PM
 
4,478 posts, read 3,128,840 times
Reputation: 4283

Advertisements

I just don't think she's into you, like you are into her, OP. Honestly, she's just gassing you up. If she was into you, you wouldn't be playing these cat and mouse games. She would be more upfront with her feelings, because if she feels you're diserable, than other women will too. You seem to be making excuses for her, because she fits this mold that you have for an ideal partner. She may have all these qualities, but I think you're just getting yanked around by her.

If anything, continue to date other women and just fit this girl in when you want too. The more you get emotionally invested into her, the more her actions will hurt you. You are already setting up expectations in your mind of what should happen next. To me, it seems you have the cart far in front of the horse. I bet if you stopped paying attention to her, the situation would slowly just fizzle. You can't build a relationship when it's terribly one sided.
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message

 
Old 11-04-2013, 03:47 PM
 
7,144 posts, read 7,928,888 times
Reputation: 4370
Quote:
Originally Posted by weezerfan84 View Post
I just don't think she's into you, like you are into her, OP. Honestly, she's just gassing you up. If she was into you, you wouldn't be playing these cat and mouse games. She would be more upfront with her feelings, because if she feels you're diserable, than other women will too. You seem to be making excuses for her, because she fits this mold that you have for an ideal partner. She may have all these qualities, but I think you're just getting yanked around by her.

If anything, continue to date other women and just fit this girl in when you want too. The more you get emotionally invested into her, the more her actions will hurt you. You are already setting up expectations in your mind of what should happen next. To me, it seems you have the cart far in front of the horse. I bet if you stopped paying attention to her, the situation would slowly just fizzle. You can't build a relationship when it's terribly one sided.

im not a sentimental softie , I know when reality has to be obeyed but I don't think she,s the kind of girl who enjoys playing games with guys , that's not to say this means she likes me in a romantic way , she might indeed just want be as a friend

like I said , during Saturdays coffee hour , I didn't once try and steer things in a romantic direction , im going to leave it to her to indicate romance , I was crystal clear with her over a month ago about how I liked her so I don't need to do it again

il do the friend thing with her for a while and if its too much for me to take , il stop knowing her
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
 
Old 11-04-2013, 07:24 PM
 
Location: Middle of the ocean
31,241 posts, read 19,729,636 times
Reputation: 45116
When all else fails, go by what she tells you.
__________________
____________________________________________
My posts as a Mod will always be in red.
Be sure to review Terms of Service: TOS
And check this out: FAQ
Moderator: Relationships Forum / Hawaii Forum / Dogs
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
 
Old 11-05-2013, 11:55 AM
 
Location: palmsprings
324 posts, read 366,186 times
Reputation: 401
Just see it as fishing .. you need patience , put your bait on the hook and toss it out to the dead sea , wait for it to chool and mean while toss more bait out .

I mean , even if the bait rottens.. its OK. It happens and your gonna catch a bad bag of junk or a empty 6pack every now and then , Dont let that defeat you .. its a big sea my friend ..plenty of fish
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
 
Old 11-05-2013, 12:07 PM
 
7,144 posts, read 7,928,888 times
Reputation: 4370
Quote:
Originally Posted by superdav View Post
Just see it as fishing .. you need patience , put your bait on the hook and toss it out to the dead sea , wait for it to chool and mean while toss more bait out .

I mean , even if the bait rottens.. its OK. It happens and your gonna catch a bad bag of junk or a empty 6pack every now and then , Dont let that defeat you .. its a big sea my friend ..plenty of fish

were you drink when you wrote this
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
 
Old 11-05-2013, 12:52 PM
 
Location: palmsprings
324 posts, read 366,186 times
Reputation: 401
A hangover .... I apologize for the nonsense
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
 
Old 11-06-2013, 06:37 AM
 
Location: New Albany, IN
832 posts, read 1,371,808 times
Reputation: 1136
Default This

Quote:
Originally Posted by Mikala43 View Post
When all else fails, go by what she tells you.
I agree with this.

I don't understand all the hostility towards this woman from the posters here. What's wrong with being friends? If she says she's not ready to date right now, then it's a good thing you are not dating right now. She probably has "issues" remaining from her last break-up and her father in the hospital and probably afraid she will burden another guy with her worries. She explicitly said to date other people, and irish_bob is dating other people. Where's the problem? If the problem is irish_bob's continued romantic feelings for this woman, then I would agree that it's a better idea to not even have a friendship (or whatever you call their relationship now); if two people are friends and one or both have feelings to be "more" then it's not really a friendship and it should end.

Again I just don't get how this woman is playing "cat-and-mouse" games. It would be a different story if she kept flipping back and forth between "lets be friends" and "lets be lovers" but I don't see how she's doing that. What I see is that she's doing things with him that she would do with her (female) friends, and she's continuing to send the "let's be friends" message. If I missed devious behavior on her part then point it out to me because I'm just not seeing it.
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
 
Old 11-06-2013, 12:19 PM
 
7,144 posts, read 7,928,888 times
Reputation: 4370
Quote:
Originally Posted by Rayah(812) View Post
I agree with this.

I don't understand all the hostility towards this woman from the posters here. What's wrong with being friends? If she says she's not ready to date right now, then it's a good thing you are not dating right now. She probably has "issues" remaining from her last break-up and her father in the hospital and probably afraid she will burden another guy with her worries. She explicitly said to date other people, and irish_bob is dating other people. Where's the problem? If the problem is irish_bob's continued romantic feelings for this woman, then I would agree that it's a better idea to not even have a friendship (or whatever you call their relationship now); if two people are friends and one or both have feelings to be "more" then it's not really a friendship and it should end.

Again I just don't get how this woman is playing "cat-and-mouse" games. It would be a different story if she kept flipping back and forth between "lets be friends" and "lets be lovers" but I don't see how she's doing that. What I see is that she's doing things with him that she would do with her (female) friends, and she's continuing to send the "let's be friends" message. If I missed devious behavior on her part then point it out to me because I'm just not seeing it.

I don't think she,s devious , a game player or anything else , I think shes great

im just posing the question , would a girl invite a guy back in her life who made it clear he likes her ?

she said it was " lovely catching up " via text and hour after our coffee meet up last Saturday , maybe she was just being friend friendly or maybe she is reconsidering the possibility of romance

like I said earlier , il do the friend thing for now but if I find my feelings for her are too much , il cancel our friendship full stop

I have a date Saturday with another woman
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
Please register to post and access all features of our very popular forum. It is free and quick. Over $68,000 in prizes has already been given out to active posters on our forum. Additional giveaways are planned.

Detailed information about all U.S. cities, counties, and zip codes on our site: City-data.com.


Reply
Please update this thread with any new information or opinions. This open thread is still read by thousands of people, so we encourage all additional points of view.

Quick Reply
Message:

Over $104,000 in prizes was already given out to active posters on our forum and additional giveaways are planned!

Go Back   City-Data Forum > General Forums > Relationships
Follow City-Data.com founder on our Forum or

All times are GMT -6. The time now is 03:37 AM.

2005-2019, Advameg, Inc. | Please obey Forum Rules | Terms of Use and Privacy Policy

City-Data.com - Archive 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12, 13, 14, 15, 16, 17, 18, 19, 20, 21, 22, 23, 24, 25, 26, 27, 28, 29, 30, 31, 32, 33, 34, 35 - Top