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I interpret it as a threat. I'd call her bluff and whatever happens happens. If you threaten me you better be willing to carry it out. I do not take kindly to threats.
Really? A threat? Perhaps she's just being honest.
How would you feel if at 2 years she just left? You found out later that she just didn't want to be dating without getting engaged for more than 2 years... Thing is? If you'd known, you would have gone ahead and proposed.
I think it's good to tell someone what you want.
Example: she says she'd like to be engaged with a wedding date set by the 2-year mark. You've been together a year already. You say you don't know if you'll be ready by then, but you might be.
Once you hit 2 years, you either get engaged, reevaluate the relationship and stay together, or split.
I do not see the "threat" in being honest.
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If a woman told you that she will not wait for you past the 2 year mark, meaning that if you do not propose by then you are history, how would you interpret it? Would you think that was reasonable? Or would you interpret it as meaning that you are not something worth enough to wait it out and that you are just replaceable with another man?
If a woman found the man of her dreams would she really put a timeline on a proposal? Especially if it's just 2 years? Or conversely, if a man does not propose within 2 years then is it reasonable to assume that he is just not that into her?
To me age makes no difference, if you want me to "choose" then you are already out of the door.
I refuse to be manipulated by anyone because they have a timeline goal they need to meet.
To hades with that dramatic mess, how do you think the rest of your life is going to be after that one?
Here's the situation. The young lady has found her "prince charming", but the prince is hesitant to tie the knot for some very good reasons. Once the man gets married, in the eyes of the law, he is in the weaker position. If after a child or two, she can divorce him, force him to pay child support, maybe alimony, and maybe get the house and other goodies. He will see his children occasionally and have a big child support bill. 50% of marriages end in divorce, and 70% of these divorces are filed by the wife. So the man has put himself in a precarious position and that means it puts him in the weaker position. He had better be nice and give her what she wants or he will be accused of being abusive and find himself divorced. Many men have logically decided to opt out of the marriage trap. Lots about this on Youtube. I'd advise any young man to be very careful and very selective in whom he chooses to marry. EG If future mother-in-law is divorced, your chance of being divorced goes up considerably. If MIL is married, observe how she treats her husband. That's who your future mate sees as an example.
Also, keep in mind that after the children come, she will most likely value her bond to her children more than you. This was proved by a thread in City-Data. So keep in mind, in the eyes of many women, a husband is the means to get what she really values in life, children and a good provider for her and her children.
I would have a problem with the ultimatum because every relationship moves at its own speed. How can anyone know if in 2 years if you would be ready to propose? Maybe neither one would be ready then or maybe neither would even want to marry each other period. I would be reluctant to even get into a relationship like that because I would always be thinking about that 2 yr. thing.
Giving an ultimatum before the 2 years even began is CRAZY. I thought the OP meant talking about it close to the 2 year mark. (not that that even makes a difference to some). It could be 2 years, 3 years, 1 year, 4 years, what matters is when an undeniable desire develops to be with that person for life.
Here's the situation. The young lady has found her "prince charming", but the prince is hesitant to tie the knot for some very good reasons. Once the man gets married, in the eyes of the law, he is in the weaker position. If after a child or two, she can divorce him, force him to pay child support, maybe alimony, and maybe get the house and other goodies. He will see his children occasionally and have a big child support bill. 50% of marriages end in divorce, and 70% of these divorces are filed by the wife. So the man has put himself in a precarious position and that means it puts him in the weaker position. He had better be nice and give her what she wants or he will be accused of being abusive and find himself divorced. Many men have logically decided to opt out of the marriage trap. Lots about this on Youtube. I'd advise any young man to be very careful and very selective in whom he chooses to marry. EG If future mother-in-law is divorced, your chance of being divorced goes up considerably. If MIL is married, observe how she treats her husband. That's who your future mate sees as an example.
Also, keep in mind that after the children come, she will most likely value her bond to her children more than you. This was proved by a thread in City-Data. So keep in mind, in the eyes of many women, a husband is the means to get what she really values in life, children and a good provider for her and her children.
Aaaah yes, the scientific journal of C-D. Always a reliable source of just the facts and only the facts. Right up there with youtube.
Location: Huntersville/Charlotte, NC and Washington, DC
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Quote:
Originally Posted by meh_whatever
Really? A threat? Perhaps she's just being honest.
How would you feel if at 2 years she just left? You found out later that she just didn't want to be dating without getting engaged for more than 2 years... Thing is? If you'd known, you would have gone ahead and proposed.
I think it's good to tell someone what you want.
Example: she says she'd like to be engaged with a wedding date set by the 2-year mark. You've been together a year already. You say you don't know if you'll be ready by then, but you might be.
Once you hit 2 years, you either get engaged, reevaluate the relationship and stay together, or split.
I do not see the "threat" in being honest.
She can be honest all she wants. Something like an ultimatum I interpret as a threat. Besides if she is with me more than 1 year she knows I dont believe in marriage.
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