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Old 11-04-2013, 03:55 AM
 
Location: "Daytonnati"
4,245 posts, read 5,963,415 times
Reputation: 2967

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I think I have a good early warning that a potnential relationship wont work out....longish awkward silences. I had that with a guy I was seeing about two years ago and noticed this in the car with a first date with a new guy yesterday. This usually happens while driving, but can happen in other contexts, too.

For some reason if its not going work out those silences seem awkward. Yet, if is going to work out the conversation will continue or evolve, or the silences dont seem so...well...silent. They seem more natural.

So just a thought. Wonder if anyone else had this happen or have a similar personal indicator?
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Old 11-04-2013, 03:56 AM
 
Location: Texas
43,400 posts, read 52,375,363 times
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If I think you're dumb within the first 30 minutes of interacting with you, it's over.

I dunno why.

You might not even be dumb.

But it is the kookiest thing. I can never again muster up any interest.
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Old 11-04-2013, 04:01 AM
 
Location: "Daytonnati"
4,245 posts, read 5,963,415 times
Reputation: 2967
^
got it! The "theres no 'there' there" feeling.....or, if the guy is cute: "the beautiful room is empty".
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Old 11-04-2013, 04:02 AM
 
Location: Texas
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I do agree with you that if I have to do all the work (or most of it) to keep a conversation going, it's over.
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Old 11-04-2013, 04:04 AM
 
Location: a primitive state
9,836 posts, read 20,078,518 times
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I've noticed that you insist on a certain level of communication from other propel in order to validate your relationship. Every time I read one of your posts it's along the lines of "blah, blah, blah, no Christmas card," or something.

Perhaps your date is shy or not chatty. Silence may only be awkward for you. And before you say I'm attacking, I'm also not as comfortable with quiet people as I am with talkers. But from what I've learned, silence does not equal dislike.
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Old 11-04-2013, 04:17 AM
 
Location: Texas
43,400 posts, read 52,375,363 times
Reputation: 70365
Quote:
Originally Posted by ellie View Post
Perhaps your date is shy or not chatty. Silence may only be awkward for you. And before you say I'm attacking, I'm also not as comfortable with quiet people as I am with talkers. But from what I've learned, silence does not equal dislike.
Quiet is fine, but not when you're in the beginning stages of trying to get to know someone.

It's like car shopping without opening any of the doors. What is the point?
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Old 11-04-2013, 04:43 AM
 
Location: "Daytonnati"
4,245 posts, read 5,963,415 times
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....silence may also mean there is nothing to talk about. Or a lack of connection.

Quote:
I've noticed that you insist on a certain level of communication from other propel in order to validate your relationship
Yes that is true, with me. So there becomes a compatibility issue...less communication <----> more likely the relationship will die on the vine. Again, my personal thing.
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Old 11-04-2013, 04:50 AM
 
16,487 posts, read 21,005,108 times
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There is a difference between awkward silence and quiet. It is the feeling involved during that time. You can sit with someone you are comfortable with for hours and not talk, each doing your own thing. It becomes awkward silence when you do not feel comfortable being around that person. I believe in gut feelings and if I meet someone and right away get that feeling that there is something about this person I don't care for, then forget it, it won't work out.
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Old 11-04-2013, 05:46 AM
 
Location: southwestern PA
20,419 posts, read 37,458,000 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by brokencrayola View Post
There is a difference between awkward silence and quiet. It is the feeling involved during that time. You can sit with someone you are comfortable with for hours and not talk, each doing your own thing. It becomes awkward silence when you do not feel comfortable being around that person. I believe in gut feelings and if I meet someone and right away get that feeling that there is something about this person I don't care for, then forget it, it won't work out.
Very true!
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Old 11-04-2013, 07:49 AM
 
Location: ATL with a side of Chicago
3,622 posts, read 5,066,836 times
Reputation: 3925
Quote:
Originally Posted by brokencrayola View Post
There is a difference between awkward silence and quiet. It is the feeling involved during that time. You can sit with someone you are comfortable with for hours and not talk, each doing your own thing. It becomes awkward silence when you do not feel comfortable being around that person. I believe in gut feelings and if I meet someone and right away get that feeling that there is something about this person I don't care for, then forget it, it won't work out.
Nailed it!
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