My child's teacher has crush on me (dating, marriage, husband)
Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
Everyone here is giving you great advice. Do NOTHING.
You dont want to greatly affect your child by having to switch schools over this teachers silly crush.
its not fair.
When you are in contact with the teacher, and shes overly nice to you just act non chalantly. U said that back in the day u wouldve totally been attracted to her rite? Does that statement show in your interactions with her when you are alone or not in your wifes immediate presence?
I ask because sometimes we arent aware of our actions in some social situations.
If theres a parent teacher meeting where both you and your wife attend together, pull out a chair for your wife, put your arm around your wifes chair. you dont have to do this, but anything to show that you are attentive to your wife and that u love her. its kinda like getting the message across that youre in a marriage.
Some people only see with their heart but need to see with their eyes too. Perhaps if the teacher sees a united front, she will be discouraged and then start crazy crushing on someone else.
If your wife participates in classroom activities i suggest she still should...Even though the teacher is being stupid with her. Your wife needs to be firm with the teacher but not stepping on toes either. If your wife continues to be pleasant, and the teacher nasty, well than your wife can kindly ask her what is wrong.
i mean, other people notice this teachers behavior towards your wife so it wouldnt be coming out of left field for your wife to ask her if somethings wrong in a situation when your wife is being pleasant and cordial and the teacher is acting like hell on wheels with her and her only.
this may be good as the teacher may not realize how she acts towards your wife and might keep her crush more under control . good luck
oh, one more thing, ask your child about the teacher. ask if the teacher asks them anything about home or asks them about you or your wife. if this nut bag for a teacher starts bothering your kid, i will bring it up to the school principal and administration and further. then get your kid out of that classroom.
Believe it or not I have never once hit on a girl successfully, I always had better luck kind of ignoring them until they hit on me, and most that I ended up with never realized I even was interested until we got together. I almost think that is part of the problem with this teacher, I get the feeling she is not used to men who show no real interest, and do not make a try, as she is very pretty.
As for my wife, I already go out of my way to do stuff such as you suggest, which is one reason some women hate me, but some find me irresistible. It has been that way for years, but it was the way I was raised, and the way I have always been, even when I was going through relationships almost monthly prior to meeting my wife, I was the same way, and that is one of the reasons most of my former girlfriends still talk about how nice I am despite me dumping most of them.
I have also already asked my son if the teacher asks any questions about what is going on at home? But I he says the only thing she ever has asked is about who helps him with his homework. Although one of her closest friends is my daughter's former autism only teacher at the same school, who also happens to be our occasional babysitter, and has spent plenty of time around myself and especially my wife and kids. So it would not be hard to get information on my wife and I for her if she chooses.
Isn't it sort of nice though, that your wife is making a big fuss over you?
Not with my son dealing with potential fall out, and either way no, I prefer to just be left alone about this stuff, as I do not find jealousy a turn on. We have fought in the past about it, as my wife does not deal with me being hit on so much very well, so usually I just do not tell her, but this is an awkward situation even for me.
I moved around too much when I was a teenager, and under normal circumstances I would agree, but there are special circumstances in this situation. My son already is a part of open enrollment and has friends from the neighborhood we live in as well as his class, so it would not be a totally new school with nobody he knows.
However the school he is in was picked for a couple of reasons, my daughter has severe autism, and the school my son is now in was the closest school with her programs. We built a very good relationship with that school, including the principal and other teachers like art and gym, with my wife still having a very close relationship to many of my daughters former teachers (close enough to be invited to birthday parties and baby showers). The other reason that my son is at that school is that it is more focused on the basics, reading writing, history, science, and math are still the primary subjects, while the neighborhood school has a more contemporary education plan (according to the district).
That being said with my wife's connections, she was able to get my son and his friends from kindergarten into my daughters former teachers classroom in 1st grade, that teacher helped get the same group from 1st grade into the same class in 2nd grade, with the teacher that is thought to be the best in the school for that grade.
Personally I have avoided volunteering much at the schools since I volunteered in an autism only classroom a few years ago with my daughter, and had a horrible experience (I do not know how special ed teachers deal with it, I still feel they are saints). However my wife has always volunteered weekly in my son's and my daughter's classrooms, it is the joy of her week. I also grew up with a mother who ran a daycare and was heavily involved in my classrooms as a child, and want to give my son that same experience as I think her working with our teachers throughout our years in elementary schools helped my siblings and I get the education that has allowed all of us to thrive as we got older. So I would like to give him the same experience, but know that reality is people cannot control fully control their emotions, and sometimes everybody's emotions get the better of them. I would hate to see the teacher get in trouble, because I do think she is a very good teacher, but am walking a fine line to keep my wife happy, and think there must be a decent way to get them both past this.
You're fortunate to have those options! Most times children are limited to only the school they are zoned for. I guess if it came to making that decision at least you know your son would still have friends in the new school
I wouldn't give this teacher the satisfaction of leaving though. This is only one year of many. If she can't volunteer in the class but can for the school, I think she and your son will be happy.
I was being snarky. My advice remains to wait it out and do nothing. I still thing you and your wife are making mroe out of it than needs to be.
If I read the first posts correctly, you initially thought your wife was making more of it than there was. Later, you began to see her point, but only after she had a problem with the teacher. If I also read it correctly, everything is coming from your wife in regards to the reactions of her riends and other parents. (Although technically, it's coming from you what your wife is saying other people are noticing.)
Since this is a relationship forum, I'd suggest you tell your wife to chill for a while. Take the advice of a post above me and not go to as many school functions. Don't speak about in front of either of your children. If, by some strange happenstance, the teacher keeps being a problem, an actual problem, then go through the chain of command and start with the principal at the school.
But right now, I'm still not seeing why this is the huge deal that you say your wife is making it out to be.
The way I found out about the others, is she showed me the text messages that she got while I was at my sons party, that my wife (mysteriously I thought at the time) suddenly could not make it too despite having planned on it prior to a couple of days before hand. The text were initiated by her friends. Now whether they had discussed it previously I do not know, but you do not usually find women in their 30s doing crap like that unless they feel there is a real reason for their friend to be concerned.
There are probably tons of volunteering opportunities for your wife where she doesn't have to be in the classroom. My son's school needs people to help unload kids in the drop-off zone, supervise crosswalks, greet volunteers and visitors, help with the yearbook, work the bake sales and book fairs, etc.
Not with my son dealing with potential fall out, and either way no, I prefer to just be left alone about this stuff, as I do not find jealousy a turn on. We have fought in the past about it, as my wife does not deal with me being hit on so much very well, so usually I just do not tell her, but this is an awkward situation even for me.
How many times do you think you will be coming into contact with this teacher between now and the end of the school year? It's not like she is emailing, calling, or sending your son home with hand written notes addressed only to you, right? Let your wife handle the communications, and meetings with that particular teacher. No need for discussion.
Hey, can you post a photo of yourself, in your profile. Just kidding.
Now I will say that this teacher is very attractive, younger then my wife and I, and is someone who I would have been interested in back when I was single, and my wife knows it.
The OP said that his wife was told 2 weeks ago that she's no longer allowed to volunteer but that he is more than welcome. When a teacher tells you that you can't volunteer in the classroom then you can't just keep showing up. Best thing for the OP and his wife is to keep their distance and just be pleasant when around the teacher and keep communications ONLY about the son.
And the son shouldn't be questioned. He's in 2nd grade so my guess is he's about 7 or 8. At that age they really don't know how to answer a question. They're not lying on purpose--they're just giving answers thinking that's what mom and dad want to hear. And the son may very well like his teacher and just say, "Hey, Miss Teacher, my mom and dad were asking me if you ask about my home life." They're so innocent and not realize what they're saying. The son shouldn't be involved at all.
i misread the original post then.
Wow, this is really a tough situation.
On one hand its like: ok, have wife keep away from classroom since she was told not to volunteer anymore.
But on the other hand its like: why cant SHE volunteer. why are other parents allowed to but not HER.?
Thinking over my first comment on this thread about asking the son.. you are rite. its best to not get the son involved. He may be confused or curious and questioning to him really isnt going to help.
But the op can ask the son normal questions like what did you do in school today etc and see if the teacher singles him out in class. - just by asking regular questions. i dont see how that could hurt.
OP, what about changing your sons class? also, was the reason a valid one the teacher gave your wife about not volunteering anymore? Has this teacher also asked other parents to no longer volunteer?
Last edited by Mandy612; 11-04-2013 at 12:24 PM..
Please register to post and access all features of our very popular forum. It is free and quick. Over $68,000 in prizes has already been given out to active posters on our forum. Additional giveaways are planned.
Detailed information about all U.S. cities, counties, and zip codes on our site: City-data.com.
Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
