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Old 11-05-2013, 11:24 AM
 
22,769 posts, read 26,151,117 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by InternetTroll View Post
How should I go about telling them they're doing something wrong without pissing them off?
'i know a good way of doing that'

they might say: 'i do too' , and persist with their struggle. if so, oh well - you tried.
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Old 11-05-2013, 11:52 AM
 
6,758 posts, read 8,278,809 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by augiedogie View Post
Do yourself a favor. Find some other way to meet chicks. If you're trying to meet chicks, this is the wrong way to do it. They are just using you, like one of their tools. None of them will respect you as a strong man and will not find you attractive at all.
Real-life women want someone they can respect as an equal. And why would they not feel that way about him? This project is a great way for him to display sexy qualities like kindness, intelligence, competence, patience, creativity...
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Old 11-05-2013, 12:52 PM
 
2,764 posts, read 4,126,607 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by NilaJones View Post
Real-life women want someone they can respect as an equal. And why would they not feel that way about him? This project is a great way for him to display sexy qualities like kindness, intelligence, competence, patience, creativity...

I dont agree with this viewpoint for the following reason:
Regardless of man or woman, EGO of an engineer is an extremely touchy issue. IME, the only other ego that compares is that of a salesmen. (I've never dealt with a saleswoman).
Ironically, sales and engineers butt heads frequently, which compounds that issue even more.

I would personally never enter such a situation as the OP explained 'to meet women'.
If sounds cool, but if they provided pushback, or I felt like they didnt want my help, I would step back. Especially if there are already a chief or two. And most likely, within a group of multiple engineers, almost all of them will be chiefs, let alone all of a sudden listen to some dude 'tell them how they are doing it wrong'.
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Old 11-05-2013, 12:58 PM
 
Location: Metro Detroit
1,106 posts, read 1,130,379 times
Reputation: 675
Feminists hate this, but women want a man to lead.
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Old 11-05-2013, 01:06 PM
 
Location: Cumberland Co., TN
21,767 posts, read 21,637,254 times
Reputation: 21407
Quote:
Originally Posted by InternetTroll View Post
Yeah there are multiple ways to do anything. I also really do like seeing the creative solutions people come up with. I'm just talking about really bad stuff. Things like using metric tools on standard sizes, using wrenches as hammers, using a torque wrench as a breaker bar, not replacing bent components because it "hasn't broken yet". There is a lot of that going on with the team.

I guess I probably keep these things to myself until I earn some more of their respect but every time I go in there I see so many cringe worthy things.

I have a leadership position in another group I'm part of where we do something similar. I know how to deal with a group of guys in a shop and the dynamic is way different.
I think you should walk away because if this is engineering students representing the university and they don't have an ounce of knowledge concerning their field of study or their project, frankly your on the wrong team and your engineering department sucks.
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Old 11-05-2013, 01:19 PM
 
Location: Chicago
3,395 posts, read 3,725,958 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by InternetTroll View Post
I got involved in a team at my university that is all women other than myself. They build/modify an eco car and need me to do *man tasks on the team. I've been working on cars since I was young and do a good job at it. I started college a couple years late so I am 2 years older than most the people in my class but that also means I do have a ton of experience in this kind of thing from when I worked in a shop between high school and college. That also means I'm just better than them at a lot of this stuff.

How should I go about telling them they're doing something wrong without pissing them off? So far I've just been doing a really good job at what I've been asked to do and figuring they will notice eventually. At the same time the car would be so much better if I could just say "you know you shouldn't use a torque wrench as a beaker bar". There are a lot of things that need to be done differently and they just don't know better. If this were a group of guys I'd just call them out on these things, but there are a few women there that are going to take offence to that. There are some of the overly feminist type that think they can't do anything wrong and need to prove that to me. I am the "new guy" but I've been friends with three of the women on the team for a long time and they told the woman in charge of the team that I know what I'm doing before I joined.

Also I do see this a good way to meet some women and I'd like to be attractive to them. Not to say I'm doing this just to pick up chicks but I know this is the kind of situation where I could meet a girl with similar interests. Really I don't want to ruin the possibility of going out with the sane women on the team. I mean I know some women on the team do find me attractive, especially because I get to show off a little and not look like I'm trying too hard.

*Not to say that the things I do for them are exclusively male tasks, they are just things that most guys are better at than most women. Things like how as a man I'm just bigger than most women and can lift more. I also go to a conservative school in the Midwest so I learned how to work on cars while most girls played with dolls as a lot of people I know here came from rather traditional families. I'm really not trying to be sexist or offensive its just the way it is.

EDIT: Just so this is very clear. I am really good at stereotypical guy things. I can do all my own maintenance on my car, I can build a fence, I know how to use a chain saw, I can drive a manual very well, I can hold my own in a fight, and I know how to take women on nice dinner dates. Its just the type of person I am. So that means when I'm with a group of people who don't know how to do these things I want help them do them better and I cringe when I see things like my example with the torque wrench.
A good place to start might be to actually familiarize yourself with what the word "feminism" actually refers to.

In my experience, most of the people who make cracks about "feminist types" have never read a single feminist text, nor could they name three significant feminist thinkers without looking them up. Frankly, they just have no idea what feminism actually is. Their whole sense of what feminism is comes from anti-feminists. That is not a good way to become knowledgeable about feminism.
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Old 11-05-2013, 02:55 PM
 
Location: Rockwall
678 posts, read 1,295,960 times
Reputation: 1113
Interesting thread

When one of them is using the incorrect tool for the job-
Walk over, make eye contact, smile like she's the highlight of your day, take the torque wrench with one hand while handing her the breaker bar. No words are necessary here.

To show them the correct way to use a tool - use your hands to guide their hands with the proper technique. Say something like "try this" or "like this." Don't take if away from them and 'show them.'

To offer advice-

1.) Praise the good things they're doing - Excellent choice on the liquid-cooled battery.

2.) Make your suggestion a question and give the reason behind it -
Have you considered moving it <here> ?
This location would allow room for a cooling plate to improve and extend the life of the battery.

Best wishes ~
~|~




Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk
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Old 11-05-2013, 05:56 PM
 
Location: Up in the air
19,126 posts, read 26,615,482 times
Reputation: 16255
Quote:
Originally Posted by Caddy1316 View Post
Feminists hate this, but women want a man to lead.
Yes and no.

With my guy, sometimes I lead...and sometimes he leads. There are things he's obviously better at than me, and there are things I'm obviously better at than him. I guess we don't have much of a power struggle and can admit when the other person has a better idea or has more of a grasp on a situation.

I will say, if hetold me to do something a certain way by being condescending or making me feel like a child I wouldn't be very happy about it.
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Old 11-05-2013, 06:02 PM
 
9,415 posts, read 11,695,971 times
Reputation: 20221
Quote:
Originally Posted by Caddy1316 View Post
Feminists hate this, but women want a man to lead.
Thankfully we have you to tell us what we all want
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Old 11-05-2013, 06:10 PM
 
Location: Whereever we have our RV parked
8,681 posts, read 7,649,264 times
Reputation: 14848
IMHO, most women hate being shown they are doing something wrong, and they don't take correction well. I had a secretary that had just taken a course on using Microsoft Word. As most know, microsoft usually gives you at least 2 or three different ways to work the exact same command. Now keep in mind, I had by then many years of using Word, plus I have a graduate degree. So I offer her an alternative way to do what she is doing. She became indignant, and firmly told me that she knew exactly what she was doing. Fortunately my present secretary is very appreciative of my experience with this program, as any normal person would be. As I said, find some other way to meet chicks. Especially considered it is a group of women. I always found it hard to break into a group of women and get anywhere romance wise with any of them.
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