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Break something big on her car! or... for heaven's sake stop your mom from feeling bad and slipping her money.
You know whats going to happen?
Things will escalate, she will fight with your parents, a lot of the anger she may be feeling about the situation will only feed the fire against her right now... all that money mom's been slippin her, she'll pack up and be gone that night. Then where will you be!
there needs to be some natural force of disaster that keeps her from seeing him, that has nothing to do with you, your parents or him... just to keep it uncomplicated, hehe.
Go on a road trip with her? For as bad as it may be being with this other guy, maybe it's the lesser of 2 evils at the moment because she's uncomfortable at home TOO! So get outta there, try to reconnect with her again. Shake things up, get her out of that scared and trapped little bubble she's wrapping herself in. Before she starts looking to this guy as "the only way out".
No. I have not successfully talked a sibling away from a bad relationship just in the same way others were not able to talk me out of them. People have to come to their own self-epiphanies, mostly after alot of pain. She just may repeat the same patterns over and over until she gets tired of them herself. The problem is that until SHE sees it as a problem, there is no motivation to get rid of the status quo. You can't control others and their actions, only your own, which is why you just need to be there for her when she needs you. No doubt she will need you in the future.
She's so afraid she won't ever find another boyfriend, and is willing to do whatever he asks her to do all the time. Even though she's saying that to him, she won't follow through with it.
Thank goodness she's already on the pill, but what scares me is that I don't know where this boy has been.
I worry she's going to end up in the hospital if she moves into that trailer because of her asthma.
Has anyone ever successfully talked a sibling away from a bad relationship?
I tried with my sister one time, but it did absolutely no good. She always went back. And Fiddlekitten is right, you should heed her words. Try to show her another world, a better world. Let her get fixed up and go out and maybe even in the hopes that another guy would look at her and say hi.
This guy is a complete loser; your assessment is right.
No. I have not successfully talked a sibling away from a bad relationship just in the same way others were not able to talk me out of them. People have to come to their own self-epiphanies, mostly after alot of pain. She just may repeat the same patterns over and over until she gets tired of them herself. The problem is that until SHE sees it as a problem, there is no motivation to get rid of the status quo. You can't control others and their actions, only your own, which is why you just need to be there for her when she needs you. No doubt she will need you in the future.
This is excellent...I wish there was a magic potion to give her to see the real truth. I completely agree with this post.
Quote:
Originally Posted by Synopsis
I tried with my sister one time, but it did absolutely no good. She always went back. And Fiddlekitten is right, you should heed her words. Try to show her another world, a better world. Let her get fixed up and go out and maybe even in the hopes that another guy would look at her and say hi.
This guy is a complete loser; your assessment is right.
I wish you the best of luck.
Thank you, I need all the luck I can get!
I'm going to try and "show her another world" as was so eloquently put here. What's difficult for me to demonstrate IS that other world--I never "dated." Only my DH. I wouldn't even begin to know where to take her!
This is excellent...I wish there was a magic potion to give her to see the real truth. I completely agree with this post.
Thank you, I need all the luck I can get!
I'm going to try and "show her another world" as was so eloquently put here. What's difficult for me to demonstrate IS that other world--I never "dated." Only my DH. I wouldn't even begin to know where to take her!
Suggestions??
Depends, what's your idea of ideal for your sister? I did the same thing for my good high school girl friend who dated losers for the longest time. Then we took up a debate class and met the most handsome, charismatic gentleman she'd ever laid her eyes on which put her blubbering, redneck loser boyfriend to shame. It wasn't long before she dropped him like a bad habit. In the process, we both learned how to properly debate and write persuasive speeches :P
Depends, what's your idea of ideal for your sister? I did the same thing for my good high school girl friend who dated losers for the longest time. Then we took up a debate class and met the most handsome, charismatic gentleman she'd ever laid her eyes on which put her blubbering, redneck loser boyfriend to shame. It wasn't long before she dropped him like a bad habit. In the process, we both learned how to properly debate and write persuasive speeches :P
Ideal? Man who will dote on her like a queen and take care of her the rest of her life and make her inexplicably happy.
LOL Did I mention I never want her to suffer ever again?
Seriously, I want her to date someone her age (19-23), who has some goals for himself and an idea about working to attain those goals. Someone who respects her, rather than takes advantage of her kindness and her desire to take care of others.
I've thought of maybe us volunteering at a local hospital...but I ran out of ideas after that.
I'm significantly older, so I don't really have any single guy friends that I would trust could be good to her. And I don't have any coworkers close in age that are single. My DH has no single coworkers either.
I'm really dealing with a very limited search area at the moment!
There is no shortage of men. Many are divorced these days, and there are actually some nice gentlemen out there......
I wouldn't disqualify any man based soley on age or whether or not they've previously been married.
I know it happens, but I think the best thing for my sister would be someone closer in age to her (purely for maturity reasons). Then again, who am I to really say what's best for her?
Ideal? Man who will dote on her like a queen and take care of her the rest of her life and make her inexplicably happy.
LOL Did I mention I never want her to suffer ever again?
Seriously, I want her to date someone her age (19-23), who has some goals for himself and an idea about working to attain those goals. Someone who respects her, rather than takes advantage of her kindness and her desire to take care of others.
I've thought of maybe us volunteering at a local hospital...but I ran out of ideas after that.
I'm significantly older, so I don't really have any single guy friends that I would trust could be good to her. And I don't have any coworkers close in age that are single. My DH has no single coworkers either.
I'm really dealing with a very limited search area at the moment!
Local hospital, book club, tennis club, university...the possibilities are endless of where you'll find wholesome guys Good luck!
Local hospital, book club, tennis club, university...the possibilities are endless of where you'll find wholesome guys Good luck!
Thank you!! (It's taking everything I have not to show her this thread and have her hear it from someone who isn't family!)
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Good luck!
