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Old 11-07-2013, 02:01 PM
 
Location: "Daytonnati"
4,245 posts, read 5,965,663 times
Reputation: 2967

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I'm starting up a new relationship...sort of a dating thing....and am sort of holding -ff doing a lot of contacting or calling. I sort of want to keep a bit of distance.

We talked last night over the phone and set a date to go to nearby small town on Sunday afternoon. But I dont want to call or contact the guy until maybe Saturday..later Saturday sometime to confirm the date.

Im interested, but this is not a crush/obsession type of thing with me....and a bit wary/ambivilant, but interested enough to pursue it and see where it goes.

So I want to start it out sort of "cool"...keep my space....and not do a lot of phonecalls, etc..until the relationship develops a bit more.

Any opinions/experiences on this?


Note:
this is a continuation/follow-up to this thread:
http://www.city-data.com/forum/relationships/1985835-how-i-know-its-not-gong.htm
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Old 11-07-2013, 02:16 PM
 
Location: Up in the air
19,126 posts, read 26,592,888 times
Reputation: 16253
Do what makes you feel comfortable.

Me and my guy have spoken/texted/emailed daily since he sent me the first message on the dating site we met through. It's been a little over 5 months now. I like being in contact, though I'm sure many other people would feel it was too smothering.
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Old 11-07-2013, 02:46 PM
 
643 posts, read 745,042 times
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just respond to him and start the converstaions once in a while and itll be cool. That is unless things werent meant to work out in that case they wont.
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Old 11-07-2013, 05:06 PM
 
6,758 posts, read 8,269,837 times
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Maybe once or twice a week after the first date, until you have had 3 or 4 dates and it has become a real relationship?

After that, for me the norm is not every day but most days.
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Old 11-07-2013, 09:09 PM
 
4,868 posts, read 7,338,291 times
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I'm like Jet. I think there should be some sort of contact every day. Maybe I'm not normal though lol. I don't think you need to see each other every single day once in a relationship but definitely a few times a week.
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Old 11-07-2013, 09:12 PM
 
Location: Pa
42,628 posts, read 44,075,495 times
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Contact shows interest. If you are lax on it, then ideas of disinterest will arise.
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Old 11-08-2013, 05:42 AM
 
Location: "Daytonnati"
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Yes, thanks....I will call tonight!
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Old 11-08-2013, 05:54 AM
 
Location: Hampstead NC
5,499 posts, read 5,035,364 times
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The last two relationships of any length I had involved daily texting or calling. One of those guys could send/receive a brief text and be happy. The other guy tried to text me constantly and wanted longish chatty phone calls. I just didn't have time. It felt like teenager contact...like it was more about the fact that he wanted me to be thinking of him rather than having anything to say. Busy working mom, here!

With someone new I'm generally hesitant to try to communicate a lot because I figure men don't really want to be pestered. OR if they do like a lot of contact I don't want to lead them to think I'm like that all the time because I'm not.

However, the flip side of that is...if a guy doesn't contact me, I assume he isn't interested.

So I guess it just completely depends on the person, and if you don't know them well, how are you going to figure it out?

This is a real challenge for me.
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Old 11-08-2013, 05:58 AM
 
35,121 posts, read 39,996,116 times
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My husband and I have talked most every day since we got together about 10 years ago.
There have been a few days we did not talk but that was because he was out of cell range or working out of the the USA and we do not have an international cell plan.
If you don't want to have daily contact with a short "How's your day" do every other day in addition to setting specific details and time for your future dates.
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Old 11-08-2013, 07:37 AM
 
Location: "Daytonnati"
4,245 posts, read 5,965,663 times
Reputation: 2967
Quote:
So I guess it just completely depends on the person, and if you don't know them well, how are you going to figure it out?
Yes, this is true...I am at the very beginning of this with this guy, so not too sure about it all. We'll talk about it....I want him to know Im interested. Well he already knows that, but I want to keep him interested in me, too......

Quote:
If you don't want to have daily contact with a short "How's your day" do every other day in addition to setting specific details and time for your future dates.
Yes, good advice..thanx! This is what im thinking too....
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