Career Women (separate, sex, call, friends)

[Frihed89]

Career women, like career men. come in all different shapes and sizes. No single profile fits all, especially the ones that are likely come out of this thread.

[Tracysherm]

I can only speak for this "career woman" and not all but I see these things as important:

• We want a man who's a grown-up, not a little boy. If you want a woman in your life to do your laundry, open your mail for you, pay the bills, and handle all the responsibilities, just so you can "play" then you're still a little boy. If we visit your home and it's a complete mess or looks like a frat house, then we'll decide that you're still a little boy. If you have nothing in your fridge but leftover pizza and beer, you're a little boy. If you don't own pots and pans or a full set of flatware, you're a little boy.
• Don't call, text, or e-mail repeatedly throughout the day when we're working. One of the reasons we've gotten so far in our careers is that we're good at keeping work life separate from personal life. We don't need or want you to call with little sweet-nothings (or phone sex for that matter) during the workday.
• Be able to make decisions. We don't want a guy who says "whatever you want." We'd like YOU to pick the restaurant, movie, outing, at least half the time. Some of us make decisions all day long, and though we have control over our personal lives, sometimes we want the other person to decide where we'll go for Italian or Chinese tonight. Also, be able to make the bigger decisions in life. Considering changing jobs? It's fine to get my input, but don't ask me what you should do. If you want us to live together, say so. If you're thinking of getting married, say so.
• You don't have to be rich, but be financially stable and responsible. Credit cards maxed out? Blowing money on a bunch of flashy crap? Overdrawing your bank account because you didn't pay attention to the balance? Can't get a car without a co-signer? We'll run the other way. Fast.
• Have interests that are interesting to talk about. Something besides sports and your work. Video games don't count.
• Be decently groomed. We like a guy who can be jeans-and-sweatshirt on weekends, but who knows what's appropriate to wear to a nice restaurant, or to the workplace. No need to be "metro," but get haircuts when you need to, don't miss little areas on your neck when you shave, and don't have nails bitten down below the quick. If you haven't learned this already, learn it now: you actually have to wash your feet in the shower--scrub them. Letting the soapy water run over them and assuming they're clean is not enough.
• Have a whole life that doesn't include me--hobbies, friends, organizations. Don't try to make me your whole life. I have a whole life, and though you might become a nice PART of that life, you're just a PART of it. It's okay to do stuff separately and miss each other a little.
• Know something about what you drink and eat. Don't limit yourself to just beer. Learn a little about different kinds of wine, good whisky, etc. If you are into beer, I'm fine with you teaching me about various micro-brews, but be willing to try wine with me. Enjoy more kinds of food apart from burgers, hot wings, and Italian pasta dishes.
• Make us laugh. We deal with a bunch of annoying stuff that p*sses us off all day long. We want someone to joke around with, who can make smart witty jokes as well as being silly/goofy.

[brocco]

Originally Posted by JJS99

Interestingly enough, I know a few women who do really well, as in 200K+. Ok. They're doctors.

And a couple of them (not most) have slid on the career requirement for their partner and take less than an average woman might.

Because even if the guy turns out to be a total shm@ck, they can still easily take care of themselves and their children very comfortably. We're talking working part time and still being able to provide full time, quality nanny/day care.

A little snapshot from real life.

Or, if by career, you mean anybody who has any dinky college degree and goes to work in an office, mostly everybody does that.

lol you must live in a bubble. real data does not support this statement

[14Bricks]

Originally Posted by Collateral

Most career women don't have time to be good partners. They are usually best for friends with benefits arrangements as they are always "busy". Try to have higher standards. Career women often value money and power over relationships.

Don't confuse job with career though. Very different things.

I think all the female attorneys at the law firm I work at who are married and have kids would take exception to what you are implying.

[Charlotte Panthers]

Originally Posted by Collateral

Most career women don't have time to be good partners. They are usually best for friends with benefits arrangements as they are always "busy". Try to have higher standards. Career women often value money and power over relationships.

Don't confuse job with career though. Very different things.

If that were the case, then most women would fall into your category.

I believe most women today are career women and are not best as FBs or value money and poer over relationships. Are there some that that fall into the category that you described? Yes, but it's got nothing to do with gender, there are a lot of guys that are the same way.

[ohio_peasant]

Originally Posted by TracySam

• ... If we visit your home and it's a complete mess or looks like a frat house, then we'll decide that you're still a little boy. If you have nothing in your fridge but leftover pizza and beer, you're a little boy. If you don't own pots and pans or a full set of flatware, you're a little boy.

My house is a wanton mess, lacking basic cookware. I eat straight from the frying-pan, standing slumped over the stove. My fridge is empty and stinks from decaying food-packages, my basement has mold, and many rooms in my house are dark because I’ve not replaced burnt-out light bulbs in years. But it’s a sprawling estate in the countryside, completely paid off. Some nights I sleep in my office. ~50 nights per year I sleep in hotels. I own hundreds of books (maybe thousands), stacked randomly in piles. The grass hasn’t been properly mowed since 2011. Occasionally I’ll find large spiders in the bathtub.

Originally Posted by TracySam

• Don't call, text, or e-mail repeatedly throughout the day when we're working. One of the reasons we've gotten so far in our careers is that we're good at keeping work life separate from personal life. We don't need or want you to call with little sweet-nothings (or phone sex for that matter) during the workday.

Tell me your phone number, and I’ll never forget it. But it won’t be until the 2nd or 3rd date that I remember your name. Maybe by the second year of the relationship I’ll notice your eye-color.

Originally Posted by TracySam

• You don't have to be rich, but be financially stable and responsible. Credit cards maxed out? Blowing money on a bunch of flashy crap? Overdrawing your bank account because you didn't pay attention to the balance? Can't get a car without a co-signer? We'll run the other way. Fast.

I drive a $1500 car with a sporadically missing idle and leaky exhaust. There’s substantial visible rust. The air conditioning failed years ago. The driver’s seat is worn down to the steel frame, and the window crank doesn’t always work. Often I need to push-start it, and AAA-Premier is my savior. But… I could probably buy the local Mercedes dealership for cash, if the urge overcame me. Instead, I’d rather plow the money into stocks. But don’t inquire about investment tips from me. I’m “very good at keeping work life separate from personal life”.

Originally Posted by TracySam

• Be decently groomed. We like a guy who can be jeans-and-sweatshirt on weekends, but who knows what's appropriate to wear to a nice restaurant, or to the workplace. No need to be "metro," but get haircuts when you need to, don't miss little areas on your neck when you shave...

Most days, I wear a suit to work. It doesn’t fit properly because I’m a fairly accomplished weight lifter, and suits are typically tailored for the corpulent but flabby. My socks don’t match, I don’t own a single belt, and occasionally my pants have holes. Frequently I’ll be the only person in a business meeting who’s not wearing a tie. My father passed away while I was still too young to shave, and I’ve never bothered to properly learn the technique. Some of my front teeth are missing. But some of the most senior people in the room call me “sir”. Pens hit notepads when I start speaking. E-mails fly around interpreting my “guidance” and “intent”.

[fleetiebelle]

Originally Posted by Charlotte Panthers

I believe most women today are career women and are not best as FBs or value money and poer over relationships. Are there some that that fall into the category that you described? Yes, but it's got nothing to do with gender, there are a lot of guys that are the same way.

This is exactly true. A work/life balance is absolutely possible, despite the cultural criticisms about women not being able to "have it all." You don't hear much about men being told they can either have a great career or a great family, but not both.

[NilaJones]

::laughing::

Ohio, you and I really grew up with similar values .

I do cook, though. And grow food, and preserve it.

The career women I know marry men with similar finances. Sometimes she makes more, sometimes he makes more, but they are roughly equal. And she is definitely not the default SAH parent. Usually the kids are in child care and she is working -- since birth, or at least by age 3. Sometimes the dad is the SAHP. That is considered extra-sexy, and all her friends flirt with him.

[Mikala43]

Originally Posted by Collateral

Most career PEOPLE don't have time to be good partners. They are usually best for friends with benefits arrangements as they are always "busy". Try to have higher standards. Career PEOPLE often value money and power over relationships.

Don't confuse job with career though. Very different things.

There, I fixed that for you.

[bolillo_loco]

Originally Posted by greenlawn1

I am a professional myself and want to be more competitive in the dating scene

Do you really want to play second fiddle to a career woman who's always reminding you how much more important her career is than you/yours? While it's not always the case I know, it's often been my experience. Moreover, many are caught up in the Jones syndrome with perfect house, school district, etc.

Find a regular girl, don't get caught up in consumerism, having the perfect house in the suburbs, and be happy. It's a lot simpler, less hectic, and more satisfying.

Good luck,
bolillo