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Old 11-11-2013, 08:37 AM
 
Location: St Thomas, US Virgin Islands
24,671 posts, read 58,186,405 times
Reputation: 26518

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Quote:
Originally Posted by GraciousVox View Post
Too late for this song and dance, nice try, sour grapes and all that:
Quirky irony seems to elude you.
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Old 11-11-2013, 09:01 AM
 
3,592 posts, read 4,713,553 times
Reputation: 4736
Quote:
Originally Posted by kgordeeva View Post
So me and my boyfriend just had a huge argument about this and I'm interested in hearing people's viewpoints. Last night, I went out with a girlfriend for dinner and drinks. At around midnight, we went back to her place and I felt pretty tired from drinking and just decided to crash at her place. I live in Chicago and her place is like a 40 minute train ride from my apartment.

When I called my boyfriend (who I live with) last night to tell him I was staying over, he went ballistic. He said he didn't like it at all didn't think it was right for a grown woman to spend the night at a friend's house. He even told me he'd pay for my cab if I just came home. After arguing for a few minutes, I told him I was staying and that I would be home in the morning.

Is it me or is he overreacting? I just find this so weird. He also didn't like the fact that I've only known this girl for a couple months and that he's only met her once.
One, he knew you were going out with your boyfriend for dinner and drinks. Two, if he was a reasonable person, surely he knew that this could happen, you get tired or tipsy and have to stay over. Three, another poster nailed it: no woman should be traveling alone at night, inebriated or even mildly incapacitated. A city cabdriver is not the Canadian Mounted Police. She had no guarantee of personal safety with a cab-driver. No offense to the cabbies on here. You were right to stand up for yourself, and if he is that insecure, I don't believe a lot of re-assurances are going to help you in this relationship because all you are doing is shifting power that should belong to you (the freedom to come and go and responsibly notify your loved ones of your whereabouts) over to him. If he is a true control freak, he will just want more power over you and make you feel even more wrong about more aspects of your own life, as time goes on. It's not like you two have separate apartments. You two live together. Whose idea was that? His? So he could keep an eye on you? Maybe you have only known the girl a couple months and he's met her once...but he doesn't trust your judgment of people's character? So in his mind you can only associate with those who receive his complete seal of approval? He is taking liberties normally allotted to a husband. He is not your husband. He is your boyfriend.
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Old 11-11-2013, 09:21 AM
 
2,764 posts, read 4,126,607 times
Reputation: 2977
If the OP's guy is upset, he has reason to be as such.
Is he controlling?
Is he insecure ?

Perhaps he has been cheated on, or knows someone who cheats/cheated.

I didnt realize that women don't hook up for casual sex.
hahahahhahahhahahahhahahahhha.
Some of you need to get out more, or .........

I know couples that literally spend every night together that they can. Being six years in is like marriage.
One woman told me once, "When you really love someone, when you really want to be with that person, you find a way to get home at night."

In the OP's scenerio, and applying it to the quote: The OP should have decided to go home at a time in which she wasn't exhausted. Putting herself in danger is not wise. The OP made the correct decision to say at her friends.
BUT, her bf has every right to be upset about it.

Frankly, if someone is "too tired" to take a cab ride home, then they should have never left the house in the first place.
Either the 'too tired' is kind of bs, or the OP needs to truly understand what too tired means.

If she was ok to go out that night, she should have been 'awake' enough to come home. We are talking an evening out with a friend..... Not marathon running down LSD. And if anyone has to ask, "whats LSD?" Dont ask.

I would question why the OP made the decision to go out being so exhausted in the first place. 12 isnt THAT late, and the guy even offered solutions to safely get her home.

And the whole drunking 'unsafe' cab ride thing....... I've known women that ride in a cab extremely intoxicated ALONE, and not one person that I know had a bad experience. Is it wise? Probably not. But Cab drivers aren't knuckle dragging zombies that prey on helpless victims. They can be accused of sexual assault just like anyone else.

Some of the responses on this one... and it's over 100. sheesh.
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Old 11-11-2013, 09:56 AM
 
3,592 posts, read 4,713,553 times
Reputation: 4736
Quote:
Originally Posted by AverageGuy2006 View Post
If the OP's guy is upset, he has reason to be as such.
Is he controlling?
Is he insecure ?

Perhaps he has been cheated on, or knows someone who cheats/cheated.

I didnt realize that women don't hook up for casual sex.
hahahahhahahhahahahhahahahhha.
Some of you need to get out more, or .........

I know couples that literally spend every night together that they can. Being six years in is like marriage.
One woman told me once, "When you really love someone, when you really want to be with that person, you find a way to get home at night."

In the OP's scenerio, and applying it to the quote: The OP should have decided to go home at a time in which she wasn't exhausted. Putting herself in danger is not wise. The OP made the correct decision to say at her friends.
BUT, her bf has every right to be upset about it.

Frankly, if someone is "too tired" to take a cab ride home, then they should have never left the house in the first place.
Either the 'too tired' is kind of bs, or the OP needs to truly understand what too tired means.

If she was ok to go out that night, she should have been 'awake' enough to come home. We are talking an evening out with a friend..... Not marathon running down LSD. And if anyone has to ask, "whats LSD?" Dont ask.

I would question why the OP made the decision to go out being so exhausted in the first place. 12 isnt THAT late, and the guy even offered solutions to safely get her home.

And the whole drunking 'unsafe' cab ride thing....... I've known women that ride in a cab extremely intoxicated ALONE, and not one person that I know had a bad experience. Is it wise? Probably not. But Cab drivers aren't knuckle dragging zombies that prey on helpless victims. They can be accused of sexual assault just like anyone else.

Some of the responses on this one... and it's over 100. sheesh.

Boy this woman is really getting "SHOULD on" here. What's with all the she should have been awake enough to come home? She had a perfectly acceptable alternative, which would be okay if she had a partner who didn't decide to be so childish and clingy. Yes, some woman in his past may have cheated on him...WHY does the OP have to pay for her sins? If he can't get over a woman cheating on him in the past and felt the need to drag this nasty emotional baggage into a current relationship, maybe he "SHOULD" stay out of relationships until he has healed, or he will be messing quite a few up them up along with innocent women's lives who DID NOT cheat on him. You move in with a man, and now you have a curfew. It wasn't like she disappeared down a rabbit hole. She was responsible. She contacted him and informed him of her whereabouts. He went too. He's not her daddy. He's supposed to be her man, and insecure in her feelings for him. Supposedly.
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Old 11-11-2013, 09:57 AM
 
Location: State of Transition
78,151 posts, read 70,049,185 times
Reputation: 75968
Quote:
Originally Posted by laorbust61 View Post
One, he knew you were going out with your boyfriend for dinner and drinks. Two, if he was a reasonable person, surely he knew that this could happen, you get tired or tipsy and have to stay over. Three, another poster nailed it: no woman should be traveling alone at night, inebriated or even mildly incapacitated. A city cabdriver is not the Canadian Mounted Police. She had no guarantee of personal safety with a cab-driver. No offense to the cabbies on here. You were right to stand up for yourself, and if he is that insecure, I don't believe a lot of re-assurances are going to help you in this relationship because all you are doing is shifting power that should belong to you (the freedom to come and go and responsibly notify your loved ones of your whereabouts) over to him. If he is a true control freak, he will just want more power over you and make you feel even more wrong about more aspects of your own life, as time goes on. It's not like you two have separate apartments. You two live together. Whose idea was that? His? So he could keep an eye on you? Maybe you have only known the girl a couple months and he's met her once...but he doesn't trust your judgment of people's character? So in his mind you can only associate with those who receive his complete seal of approval? He is taking liberties normally allotted to a husband. He is not your husband. He is your boyfriend.
hahahahaha! The bolded is a zinger of a line! Great post overall. (Except for the error in the 1st sentence: she was out with her gf, not a bf.)
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Old 11-11-2013, 10:04 AM
 
2,764 posts, read 4,126,607 times
Reputation: 2977
Quote:
Originally Posted by laorbust61 View Post
Boy this woman is really getting "SHOULD on" here. What's with all the she should have been awake enough to come home? She had a perfectly acceptable alternative, which would be okay if she had a partner who didn't decide to be so childish and clingy. Yes, some woman in his past may have cheated on him...WHY does the OP have to pay for her sins? If he can't get over a woman cheating on him in the past and felt the need to drag this nasty emotional baggage into a current relationship, maybe he "SHOULD" stay out of relationships until he has healed, or he will be messing quite a few up them up along with innocent women's lives who DID NOT cheat on him. You move in with a man, and now you have a curfew. It wasn't like she disappeared down a rabbit hole. She was responsible. She contacted him and informed him of her whereabouts. He went too. He's not her daddy. He's supposed to be her man, and insecure in her feelings for him. Supposedly.
But it's a mentality.
She should have WANTED to be home with the bf.

it is a difficult concept to grasp for some people. It took me years after I heqrd the conceptfor me to 'get it'.

It's kind of old school mentality. But mostly the idea is that you want to come home to your s/o. EVERY DARN NIGHT.
/
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Old 11-11-2013, 10:06 AM
 
Location: On the corner of Grey Street
6,067 posts, read 8,335,760 times
Reputation: 11540
Good grief...what is the big deal about staying over with a friend for ONE night? It's not like they are married with 3 kids and she went out partying and never came home all night. If after six years he thinks her saying she got tired and is staying over with a friend equals she is really out hooking up with other guys, then maybe they shouldn't be together. She was tired, it was a long way home...big deal.
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Old 11-11-2013, 10:08 AM
 
2,764 posts, read 4,126,607 times
Reputation: 2977
Quote:
Originally Posted by Ruth4Truth View Post
hahahahaha! The bolded is a zinger of a line! Great post overall. (Except for the error in the 1st sentence: she was out with her gf, not a bf.)
For the most part, cab drivers in chicago are actually the safest mode of transportation available in the situation.
And this isn't worth argueing, especially if you are not from chicago.

Takin a cab home was a completely viable solution. The OP choose not to, for her own reasons. Most people in chicago would agree...... most, not all.
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Old 11-11-2013, 10:34 AM
 
Location: On the corner of Grey Street
6,067 posts, read 8,335,760 times
Reputation: 11540
Quote:
Originally Posted by AverageGuy2006 View Post
For the most part, cab drivers in chicago are actually the safest mode of transportation available in the situation.
And this isn't worth argueing, especially if you are not from chicago.

Takin a cab home was a completely viable solution. The OP choose not to, for her own reasons. Most people in chicago would agree...... most, not all.
Regardless of it being safe or not safe - it was a long drive and she was tired. What is so wrong with staying with her friend? She was just going home to bed anyway. Not like they had plans together and she bailed on him.
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Old 11-11-2013, 10:46 AM
 
6,387 posts, read 5,407,907 times
Reputation: 11013
Quote:
Originally Posted by AverageGuy2006 View Post
But it's a mentality.
She should have WANTED to be home with the bf.

it is a difficult concept to grasp for some people. It took me years after I heqrd the conceptfor me to 'get it'.

It's kind of old school mentality. But mostly the idea is that you want to come home to your s/o. EVERY DARN NIGHT.
/

Some people are okay with not being joined at the hip. I've gone on trips without my SO, go out with friends without him and sometimes spend the night with friends. You can love someone and share a life without needing to spend every night together.
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