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Old 11-09-2013, 01:52 PM
 
Location: Pa
42,639 posts, read 44,123,575 times
Reputation: 24972

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Sounds like he has jealousy issues. But come on I even thought bad things and I don't know you.

Wait are you bi?

If not he is a control freak.
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Old 11-09-2013, 02:02 PM
 
Location: Arlington, VA and Washington, DC
23,585 posts, read 33,324,900 times
Reputation: 32214
Quote:
Originally Posted by kgordeeva View Post
So me and my boyfriend just had a huge argument about this and I'm interested in hearing people's viewpoints. Last night, I went out with a girlfriend for dinner and drinks. At around midnight, we went back to her place and I felt pretty tired from drinking and just decided to crash at her place. I live in Chicago and her place is like a 40 minute train ride from my apartment.

When I called my boyfriend (who I live with) last night to tell him I was staying over, he went ballistic. He said he didn't like it at all didn't think it was right for a grown woman to spend the night at a friend's house. He even told me he'd pay for my cab if I just came home. After arguing for a few minutes, I told him I was staying and that I would be home in the morning.

Is it me or is he overreacting? I just find this so weird. He also didn't like the fact that I've only known this girl for a couple months and that he's only met her once.
It ain't you. I would rather have my significant other at a friend's house safely inside with someone she trusts enough than her trying to get home to me under the influence of alcohol by herself where who knows what can happen. Your boyfriend is very much overreacting and controlling.
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Old 11-09-2013, 02:06 PM
 
Location: Chicago
856 posts, read 1,365,041 times
Reputation: 1902
Quote:
Originally Posted by Raena77 View Post
Sounds like he has jealousy issues. But come on I even thought bad things and I don't know you.

Wait are you bi?

If not he is a control freak.
Lol no I'm not bi. He really doesn't act like this all the time, but he always wants me with him in bed at night. It's weird how clingy a grown man can be.
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Old 11-09-2013, 02:07 PM
 
Location: Chicago
856 posts, read 1,365,041 times
Reputation: 1902
Quote:
Originally Posted by JetJockey View Post
Wait, seriously??? I assumed it was an opposite-sex friend but he has an issue with you staying over at a same sex friends place?

Hell, I wouldn't even have an issue with my guy staying over at another woman's house but I'd have even less of an issue with him staying over at one of his guy friend's houses.

I'll also echo zentropa above, I'm nearly 30 and back home all of us gals would get together and have sleepovers fairly often. In fact, I'm starting to plan a big one when I go back home in the spring
Yeah.. I'm glad I'm not the only one who thinks he was being weird. He just thinks it's strange for grown women to have sleepovers, I guess. lol.
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Old 11-09-2013, 02:14 PM
 
Location: Chicago
856 posts, read 1,365,041 times
Reputation: 1902
Quote:
Originally Posted by lmw36 View Post
You made the right decision. He is heavily overreacting.

Does he have trust issues? You need to ask him what about your actions upset him. He needs to be more specific. Does he not like it because he thinks you need to spend more time with him? Does he think you are seeing other men? Does he think it's immature behavior?

If you have a normal relationship outside of this (you've never cheated, you're not a druggie, etc), then he might just be a controlling jerk. How long have you been with this guy?
I don't he really has trust issues. He knows I would never cheat on him. I think he think it's just immature behavior, which I will never understand. I've been with him for six years. He is just always worried about me and thinks I'm this delicate little flower.
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Old 11-09-2013, 02:18 PM
 
Location: Pa
42,639 posts, read 44,123,575 times
Reputation: 24972
Quote:
Originally Posted by kgordeeva View Post
Lol no I'm not bi. He really doesn't act like this all the time, but he always wants me with him in bed at night. It's weird how clingy a grown man can be.
Hmmm.....then he just missed you? Sleeps better with you?


Awwww that's actually sweet.
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Old 11-09-2013, 02:23 PM
 
Location: a primitive state
9,846 posts, read 20,102,464 times
Reputation: 12320
Quote:
Originally Posted by kgordeeva View Post
Yeah.. I'm glad I'm not the only one who thinks he was being weird. He just thinks it's strange for grown women to have sleepovers, I guess. lol.
I was actually just thinking that I should rent a room in a friend's house just so I wouldn't have to make long drives home at night. My husband would definitely worry less.
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Old 11-09-2013, 02:29 PM
 
Location: Utica, NY
1,912 posts, read 2,537,768 times
Reputation: 3200
Quote:
Originally Posted by kgordeeva View Post
So me and my boyfriend just had a huge argument about this and I'm interested in hearing people's viewpoints. Last night, I went out with a girlfriend for dinner and drinks. At around midnight, we went back to her place and I felt pretty tired from drinking and just decided to crash at her place. I live in Chicago and her place is like a 40 minute train ride from my apartment.

When I called my boyfriend (who I live with) last night to tell him I was staying over, he went ballistic. He said he didn't like it at all didn't think it was right for a grown woman to spend the night at a friend's house. He even told me he'd pay for my cab if I just came home. After arguing for a few minutes, I told him I was staying and that I would be home in the morning.

Is it me or is he overreacting? I just find this so weird. He also didn't like the fact that I've only known this girl for a couple months and that he's only met her once.
Time to get a new boyfriend. That should serve as a huge red flag. The guy is obviously mega possessive. Would he rather you had driven home late and potentially intoxicated?
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Old 11-09-2013, 02:31 PM
 
Location: SoCal
5,723 posts, read 4,514,153 times
Reputation: 1860
Quote:
Originally Posted by kgordeeva View Post
Is it me or is he overreacting?
Personally, I would say that he is overreacting. I don't see why exactly this should matter to him unless he thinks that you might be bi or a lesbian.

Honestly, I personally wouldn't care if my future spouse did this just as long as there was no actual romance (kissing, sex, et cetera) between her and anyone else.
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Old 11-09-2013, 03:09 PM
 
Location: Emerald Coast, FL
5,310 posts, read 8,323,056 times
Reputation: 8660
You made a good decision, and stayed safe. However, how does he know you didn't hook up with some guy while visiting your friend? Staying over with her could as easily have been an excuse to cheat on him, and I wouldn't be surprised if that was what he was thinking.
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