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Old 11-09-2013, 01:35 PM
 
Location: Chicago
855 posts, read 1,363,337 times
Reputation: 1902

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So me and my boyfriend just had a huge argument about this and I'm interested in hearing people's viewpoints. Last night, I went out with a girlfriend for dinner and drinks. At around midnight, we went back to her place and I felt pretty tired from drinking and just decided to crash at her place. I live in Chicago and her place is like a 40 minute train ride from my apartment.

When I called my boyfriend (who I live with) last night to tell him I was staying over, he went ballistic. He said he didn't like it at all didn't think it was right for a grown woman to spend the night at a friend's house. He even told me he'd pay for my cab if I just came home. After arguing for a few minutes, I told him I was staying and that I would be home in the morning.

Is it me or is he overreacting? I just find this so weird. He also didn't like the fact that I've only known this girl for a couple months and that he's only met her once.
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Old 11-09-2013, 01:40 PM
 
14,396 posts, read 17,258,501 times
Reputation: 11189
He obviously didn't like that you went out in the first place, but thought it would be okay, as long as came back home to him, but you didn't come back home.

He is feeling insecure. If you value him, I suggest you spend time reassuring him (in a way that you don't belittle him) then take it from there.
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Old 11-09-2013, 01:40 PM
 
9,415 posts, read 11,681,655 times
Reputation: 20214
Heaven forbid a grown up should make her own decisions

From the brief description you've given your boyfriend sounds like a control freak.
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Old 11-09-2013, 01:42 PM
 
16,789 posts, read 14,438,341 times
Reputation: 37834
I am in my 50s and still have sleepovers with my girlfriends! What's his deal?
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Old 11-09-2013, 01:48 PM
 
19,081 posts, read 21,830,534 times
Reputation: 13432
Sounds like you two have some problems. A young girl who has been drinking should not be traveling alone late at night. You made the right decision imo.
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Old 11-09-2013, 01:49 PM
 
1,306 posts, read 2,150,835 times
Reputation: 1812
Same sex, appropriate

opposite sex, completely inappropriate
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Old 11-09-2013, 01:49 PM
 
12,254 posts, read 13,479,761 times
Reputation: 14115
Quote:
Originally Posted by kgordeeva View Post
So me and my boyfriend just had a huge argument about this and I'm interested in hearing people's viewpoints. Last night, I went out with a girlfriend for dinner and drinks. At around midnight, we went back to her place and I felt pretty tired from drinking and just decided to crash at her place. I live in Chicago and her place is like a 40 minute train ride from my apartment.

When I called my boyfriend (who I live with) last night to tell him I was staying over, he went ballistic. He said he didn't like it at all didn't think it was right for a grown woman to spend the night at a friend's house. He even told me he'd pay for my cab if I just came home. After arguing for a few minutes, I told him I was staying and that I would be home in the morning.

Is it me or is he overreacting? I just find this so weird. He also didn't like the fact that I've only known this girl for a couple months and that he's only met her once.
He's selfish and you'd better ask your new friend if she wants a roommate.

I would be ok with you staying there knowing you are safe.
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Old 11-09-2013, 01:50 PM
 
1,638 posts, read 2,591,559 times
Reputation: 2708
You made the right decision. He is heavily overreacting.

Does he have trust issues? You need to ask him what about your actions upset him. He needs to be more specific. Does he not like it because he thinks you need to spend more time with him? Does he think you are seeing other men? Does he think it's immature behavior?

If you have a normal relationship outside of this (you've never cheated, you're not a druggie, etc), then he might just be a controlling jerk. How long have you been with this guy?
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Old 11-09-2013, 01:51 PM
 
Location: Up in the air
19,126 posts, read 26,592,888 times
Reputation: 16253
Wait, seriously??? I assumed it was an opposite-sex friend but he has an issue with you staying over at a same sex friends place?

Hell, I wouldn't even have an issue with my guy staying over at another woman's house but I'd have even less of an issue with him staying over at one of his guy friend's houses.

I'll also echo zentropa above, I'm nearly 30 and back home all of us gals would get together and have sleepovers fairly often. In fact, I'm starting to plan a big one when I go back home in the spring
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Old 11-09-2013, 01:51 PM
 
Location: IGO CA
350 posts, read 369,038 times
Reputation: 843
I'm in my 60's and sometimes go spend a whole WEEKEND with old friends~!! I also have hobbies that take me out of town for long weekends where I share motels with various friends. My husband NEVER questions my decision to go or stay somewhere~!

Especially if you felt you'd over indulged, you did the RIGHT thing by staying put and not taking any chance, whether it be a train or cab ride, when you could stay put. You called and left him know. He should have been happy and relieved to know you were safe.
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