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Old 11-11-2013, 10:14 AM
 
3,067 posts, read 2,497,957 times
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Are you talking about hobbies? Values? Personalities? Mental/emotional connection? No chemistry? What exactly don't you have in common? Maybe it's just me but I find your first post way too vague. There is a difference between having NOTHING at all
In common versus not having the things that matter for relationship sustainability in common(I.e core commonalities). In terms of the former if you two really had nothing in common besides physical attraction you two wouldn't have been drawn to each other. Like attracts like. So while I'm sure the physical connection was what intiated the process, if you two had so little in common you would have repelled one another from the start and it never would have went anywhere after the first time you met. So something tells me you have SOMETHING in
common.

But the question is, is what you have in common not enough? For instance do you two have completely different personalities that makes it difficult to enjoy events/dates? Do you two have different outlook and goals in life that would make it too difficult to ever have a future? Do you guys have different beliefs regarding finances, religion, marriage, child-rearing, etc? Do you guys have vastlly different upbringings that still effect the way you do things and your behaviors today?

If your answering yes to any of those then YES it would be extremely difficult to make this kind of relationship work. But if your talking about minor differences like: she is a bit more introverted of extroverted then you, you have different hobbies, different political leanings, different sets of friends, or different food preferences etc? These types of things are a little easier to work with and really don't have to be deal breakers unless you allow them to be.

I've dated people I had little in common with, in terms of personality, hobbies, food likes, etc. I actually preferred that type of relationship because I feel like it allows you to grow as an individual and learn more about others and open your mind up to new experiences. However when if comes to differences in the things that matter then no it would not work out.

But in general you do not have to have a large quantity of things in common to make a relationship work. It's more about the quality(I.e the types of things you have in common).
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Old 11-11-2013, 03:16 PM
 
509 posts, read 656,012 times
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For me, I don't even see the point of attempting/wanting to be in a relationship with someone I had nothing in common with. Physical attraction is completely irrelevant if there's nothing else.
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Old 11-11-2013, 07:48 PM
 
156 posts, read 217,850 times
Reputation: 105
Quote:
Originally Posted by Rayah(812) View Post
To bluevalentine, I don't think you and your new date are so different if you're "in the same social circle."


Quote:
Originally Posted by Faith2187 View Post
So something tells me you have SOMETHING in
common.
we both like to express ourselves creatively and artistically through the performing and fine arts. I think she was attracted to my image, i guess i represent what she values as "good looking". she has given me a number of compliments on the way i look and my fashion choices.

unfortunately the similarities end there. everything from finances to goals in life and lifestyle, we can't agree on anything.

Last edited by bluevalentine1986; 11-11-2013 at 07:57 PM..
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Old 11-11-2013, 10:08 PM
 
68 posts, read 108,461 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by bluevalentine1986 View Post
have you ever made a relationship work with someone you had nothing in common with?

I'm dating this girl who i thought was going to be similar to me since we are in the same social circle, but all we have in common is that we are physically attracted to one another.

i was wondering if aiming for a relationship with her was a lost cause.
It will last for a while when you are in the honeymoon stage. But then it is really hard, take it from me. Really hard. But you may find you have some things in common, like how you plan for the future, what you believe.
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Old 11-12-2013, 09:35 AM
 
Location: New Albany, IN
832 posts, read 1,372,551 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by bluevalentine1986 View Post
we both like to express ourselves creatively and artistically through the performing and fine arts. I think she was attracted to my image, i guess i represent what she values as "good looking". she has given me a number of compliments on the way i look and my fashion choices.

unfortunately the similarities end there. everything from finances to goals in life and lifestyle, we can't agree on anything.
I see. Being attracted to your image may be enough to fuel a short-term, very young romance. If you're young and not looking for something serious then it's doable, you can learn and grow from each other. Plus both being artists is helpful because it seems you are all misunderstood by outsiders. But I'm guessing your user name represents your age; you're not that old but no child either so you might not have the patience for "wait and see." I'm a year older, and while I want to say our values are not ever set in stone, by now they pretty much are.
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Old 11-12-2013, 10:29 AM
 
643 posts, read 745,155 times
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I dated a girl for 4.5 years who I had nothing in common with at all. It worked for a while, but over time I realized she wasnt the one. I cant fathom marrying someone who I have nothing in common with.
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Old 11-13-2013, 08:29 AM
 
Location: "Daytonnati"
4,245 posts, read 5,966,389 times
Reputation: 2967
Im sort of in a similar situation, but am willing to explore this a bit more, mainly due to what Faith2197 put into words:

Quote:
I've dated people I had little in common with, in terms of personality, hobbies, food likes, etc. I actually preferred that type of relationship because I feel like it allows you to grow as an individual and learn more about others and open your mind up to new experiences.
...theres the issue too of bending my will more and not being so self-centered, doing what I want, whats conveinet or interesting to me, all the time.
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Old 11-13-2013, 09:01 AM
 
2,151 posts, read 2,764,601 times
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sounds like good advice in this thread, sometimes infatuation and lust blinds us to what the person would really be like in long term
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Old 11-13-2013, 12:36 PM
 
7,782 posts, read 5,926,103 times
Reputation: 5480
Quote:
Originally Posted by bluevalentine1986 View Post
have you ever made a relationship work with someone you had nothing in common with?

I'm dating this girl who i thought was going to be similar to me since we are in the same social circle, but all we have in common is that we are physically attracted to one another.

i was wondering if aiming for a relationship with her was a lost cause.
It can happen...

Maybe with these differences, you can fill each other's gaps.
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Old 11-13-2013, 01:30 PM
 
7,144 posts, read 7,933,206 times
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I know a girl who she and I share several mutual interests , we get on great and find each other intellectually stimulating

unfortunately I don't cut the mustard physically for her , lesson = nothing in common bar physical attraction is not as much a deal breaker as everything in common bar physical attraction
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