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Old 11-10-2013, 06:01 PM
 
1 posts, read 1,079 times
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I am going to try to make this as short as possible, but I could go on and on about the drama my husbands ex causes. I am just going to start off with saying I love my step son so much. He is my little buddy, and when we are together we have the best time. But why can't his mother appreciate all I do fro him? She told me her actions have nothing to do with me being around her son. Her and my husband (we are newlyweds) were split up for almost a year before him and I even meet. This girl has never even tried to get to know me. The first time she found out I was around her son, she came over my husbands house ( my boyfriend at the time ) and tried to fight me in front of her son. I was not going to do that in front of him, so she said "watch this", got into her car and purposely backed into mine. She got arrested and went to jail. She stalks my every move. She has kicked my dog twice now in his head on purpose ( must I remind you she is a vet tech ). She threatens to call CPS on my husband and I when my step son is taken good care of when he is with us. She has a boyfriend that she lives with and she claims she has moved on but yet she still acts like this. She is 27 years old, when will she grow up? I know there is two sides to every story and I understand she is hurt but why take it out on me? It's one thing after another with this girl. She is always so ready to attack. Advice PLEASE!!!!!!!!
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Old 11-11-2013, 04:15 PM
 
Location: Canada
8,733 posts, read 7,840,395 times
Reputation: 18059
As as former stepparent, I can tell you that any appreciation for the things you do for your stepson should be coming from his father, your husband, and not from the mother.

And from further experience, some women cannot grow up, cannot get past being territorial over their children and being resentful of your involvement in the child's life.

Your best bet is to keep your distance and make sure your husband is supportive of you and good boundaries in place. If you don't have your husband's support, sadly, you have nothing at all.
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Old 11-11-2013, 04:21 PM
 
35,121 posts, read 38,117,320 times
Reputation: 61862
Quote:
Originally Posted by stems1422 View Post
I am going to try to make this as short as possible, but I could go on and on about the drama my husbands ex causes. I am just going to start off with saying I love my step son so much. He is my little buddy, and when we are together we have the best time. But why can't his mother appreciate all I do fro him? She told me her actions have nothing to do with me being around her son. Her and my husband (we are newlyweds) were split up for almost a year before him and I even meet. This girl has never even tried to get to know me. The first time she found out I was around her son, she came over my husbands house ( my boyfriend at the time ) and tried to fight me in front of her son. I was not going to do that in front of him, so she said "watch this", got into her car and purposely backed into mine. She got arrested and went to jail. She stalks my every move. She has kicked my dog twice now in his head on purpose ( must I remind you she is a vet tech ). She threatens to call CPS on my husband and I when my step son is taken good care of when he is with us. She has a boyfriend that she lives with and she claims she has moved on but yet she still acts like this. She is 27 years old, when will she grow up? I know there is two sides to every story and I understand she is hurt but why take it out on me? It's one thing after another with this girl. She is always so ready to attack. Advice PLEASE!!!!!!!!

Don't allow her inside your home, don't deal with her yourself, pick up and drop off the child in a public place, get a restraining order if you have to, have her arrested and charged as many times as necessary to get it through to her that you will not tolerate this behavior. Also, tell her to go ahead and call CPS, if she calls in enough false reports they have legal recourse and it gives you more evidence that she is harrassing and stalking you.
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Old 11-11-2013, 04:46 PM
 
11,674 posts, read 13,943,822 times
Reputation: 19024
Ive dealt with an ex spouse before and I never want to do it again.

For the kiddo, you really have to be the bigger person and behave. You can only control yourself.
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Old 11-11-2013, 04:51 PM
 
13,831 posts, read 16,422,831 times
Reputation: 10604
Tell her to come into reality. People break up and move on.

Your husband should be the one handling this and nipping it in the bud.
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Old 11-11-2013, 05:15 PM
 
11,472 posts, read 12,756,008 times
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Yeah...been there, done that.

Sometimes I had to lay down the law with this guy but he never called my bluff. Good thing, I had no backup plan. Hee Hee.

He tried to keep my stepson one time threatening not to bring him back and that he was entitled to a weeks visitation.

I told him if he was not home by the appointed time of six o'clock I would have a State Trooper in his driveway arresting him for kidnapping. The boy was returned at 4.
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Old 11-11-2013, 05:20 PM
 
1,193 posts, read 1,477,536 times
Reputation: 3427
There is no reason you guys need to be friends. There is no reason she needs to like you or have any sort of relationship with you. All contact needs to be between your husband and his ex. You should never be involved. There is no reason you need to continue to seek her approval. Once you let go of the idea that she will ever see you as anything but a monster who is with the father of her child when she wishes she was, and the monster who gets to be with her son when she doesn't, your expectations will not be constantly disappointed.

I am not saying her behavior is okay. Clearly it is WAY not okay. But I think it is a naive, ridiculous thing to expect any woman whose ex has gotten remarried and has to deal with another woman being around HER child to be grinning and thrilled about it, wanting to be your bestie, with rainbows and unicorns everywhere. Or showing you appreciation? Appreciation for what? Your husband owes you appreciation. This woman owes you NOTHING.
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Old 11-11-2013, 05:25 PM
 
Location: Raleigh NC
5,301 posts, read 4,619,360 times
Reputation: 13331
Quote:
Originally Posted by CSD610 View Post
Don't allow her inside your home, don't deal with her yourself, pick up and drop off the child in a public place, get a restraining order if you have to, have her arrested and charged as many times as necessary to get it through to her that you will not tolerate this behavior. Also, tell her to go ahead and call CPS, if she calls in enough false reports they have legal recourse and it gives you more evidence that she is harrassing and stalking you.
Seems to me it is only a matter of time before she gives you grounds to get that restraining order or to call CPS on HER!

How very sad she is like this. I wonder what happened to her in life to make her so insecure and vindictive. Try to keep pity in your heart for her. (and stay the heck away from her!)
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Old 11-11-2013, 06:55 PM
 
Location: Up above the world so high!
45,270 posts, read 86,375,456 times
Reputation: 39693
My advice - always take the high road.

Look for the appreciation you seek from your husband and his child - not the ex.

Smile and be polite when you see her - refuse to engage if she wants to cause drama.

Just be the bigger person and go on with your life.
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Old 11-11-2013, 11:06 PM
 
Location: Middle America
35,840 posts, read 39,668,441 times
Reputation: 48667
Really limit your contact with her in any way you can, and do not expect to be on friendly terms with her or for her to appreciate anything.
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