U.S. CitiesCity-Data Forum Index
Go Back   City-Data Forum > General Forums > Relationships
 [Register]
Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
View detailed profile (Advanced) or search
site with Google Custom Search

Search Forums  (Advanced)
Reply Start New Thread
 
Old 11-11-2013, 02:06 PM
 
11 posts, read 10,150 times
Reputation: 19

Advertisements

I've only been with 2 women in my life and both of them were long term relationships. Unfortunately my 2nd gf cheated and I broke up. I've been single for about 5 months now.

I'm 25 years old and do look forward towards having my own family in the near future. However, what I'm noticing is that nowadays is a bit of a challenge finding the right girl that isn't a religious ''waiting till marriage only'' type or the one who has slept with a tons of guys.

I'm an atheist but do value sex and intimacy within a relationship. I was wondering if there are women like that too. I would like one that isn't into casual sex but neither is waiting till marriage. I honestly find both extremes deal-breakers.

Last edited by DexterL; 11-11-2013 at 02:14 PM..
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message

 
Old 11-11-2013, 02:21 PM
 
Location: State of Transition
77,782 posts, read 69,755,523 times
Reputation: 75528
Quote:
Originally Posted by DexterL View Post
I'm an atheist but do value sex and intimacy within a relationship. I was wondering if there are women like that too. I would like one that isn't into casual sex but neither is waiting till marriage. I honestly find both extremes deal-breakers.
Be friendly and talk to a lot of women, including shy women, plain women, all kinds of women. A winning personality can come in any type of package. Join activity groups of various sorts, sports leagues, volunteer with political or enviro orgs, circulate. And chat with the women you meet.
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
 
Old 11-11-2013, 02:23 PM
 
Location: Chicago
3,395 posts, read 3,717,833 times
Reputation: 7795
Quote:
Originally Posted by DexterL View Post
I've only been with 2 women in my life and both of them were long term relationships. Unfortunately my 2nd gf cheated and I broke up. I've been single for about 5 months now.

I'm 25 years old and do look forward towards having my own family in the near future. However, what I'm noticing is that nowadays is a bit of a challenge finding the right girl that isn't a religious ''waiting till marriage only'' type or the one who has slept with a tons of guys.

I'm an atheist but do value sex and intimacy within a relationship. I was wondering if there are women like that too. I would like one that isn't into casual sex but neither is waiting till marriage. I honestly find both extremes deal-breakers.
So, you don't want to be with a "wait 'til marriage" type, but nor do you want to with a woman who has "slept with a ton of guys." You, sir, indeed have a problem, but I don't think it is women. I think it is your sex-negative attitude. If you find a woman who you enjoy having sex with, you should write every one of her previous lover a thank you note. People don't get good at sex by accident.
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
 
Old 11-11-2013, 02:30 PM
 
11 posts, read 10,150 times
Reputation: 19
Quote:
Originally Posted by RogersParkGuy View Post
So, you don't want to be with a "wait 'til marriage" type, but nor do you want to with a woman who has "slept with a ton of guys."
Correct and I don't see what's wrong with that. I don't even like bars myself (I hate noisy places). However, I'm not an extremist boring prude either and do drink in special social reunions and enjoy being in a relationship. Imagine you were being invited to Death Valley and North Pole. Those are extremes don't you think? What's wrong with not liking extremes? Don't you believe there is a middle ground?
Quote:
Originally Posted by RogersParkGuy View Post
You, sir, indeed have a problem, but I don't think it is women. I think it is your sex-negative attitude. If you find a woman who you enjoy having sex with, you should write every one of her previous lover a thank you note. People don't get good at sex by accident.
Excuse me. Is it too much asking for a woman similar to me? I don't mind if she had relationships prior to me but at least it's something we can both relate to. There is a big difference between a woman who had certain relationships (I would actually be more weird out if a woman never had a relationship in her mid 20's) and one who has been with hundreds of people. I don't want a virginal Mary either. What is so difficult to understand??

By your phrasing, I'm getting that I should settle for anything less just for the sake of love???
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
 
Old 11-11-2013, 02:33 PM
 
2,764 posts, read 4,118,291 times
Reputation: 2977
Quote:
Originally Posted by DexterL View Post
I've only been with 2 women in my life and both of them were long term relationships. Unfortunately my 2nd gf cheated and I broke up. I've been single for about 5 months now.

I'm 25 years old and do look forward towards having my own family in the near future. However, what I'm noticing is that nowadays is a bit of a challenge finding the right girl that isn't a religious ''waiting till marriage only'' type or the one who has slept with a tons of guys.

I'm an atheist but do value sex and intimacy within a relationship. I was wondering if there are women like that too. I would like one that isn't into casual sex but neither is waiting till marriage. I honestly find both extremes deal-breakers.
Yea, probably going to be a challenge.
How about date a woman and toss out your previous sex partners hang up?

Previous number of partners is really extremely insignificant on relationship expectations.
When you meet someone you like, THAT becomes unimportant.
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
 
Old 11-11-2013, 02:34 PM
 
1,186 posts, read 1,070,048 times
Reputation: 4091
No. There are only Madonnas and whores. I think that's what this forum says, anyway.
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
 
Old 11-11-2013, 02:38 PM
 
11 posts, read 10,150 times
Reputation: 19
Quote:
Originally Posted by AverageGuy2006 View Post
Yea, probably going to be a challenge.
How about date a woman and toss out your previous sex partners hang up?
I have done that with my second gf and she ended up cheating within 7 months of dating. To make matters worst, I found out through a message that it was done in my own house while I was working. And I've been very tolerant about her going to parties and other things.
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
 
Old 11-11-2013, 02:43 PM
 
Location: The point of no return, er, NorCal
7,208 posts, read 4,601,908 times
Reputation: 9241
Quote:
Originally Posted by RogersParkGuy View Post
So, you don't want to be with a "wait 'til marriage" type, but nor do you want to with a woman who has "slept with a ton of guys." You, sir, indeed have a problem, but I don't think it is women. I think it is your sex-negative attitude. If you find a woman who you enjoy having sex with, you should write every one of her previous lover a thank you note. People don't get good at sex by accident.
Ahh, but a lot of partners does not mean one is great at sex, or, rather, intimacy. The quality of the intimacy depends on a number of factors, but sexual openness, confidence, being in tune with one's body, knowing what one likes, and having explored and experienced various areas of sexuality and intimacy, are what contribute to being a great lover.

And, I get his point. I don't see anything inherently wrong with casual sex itself. Whatever makes one happy, I say. However, it isn't exactly my thing, and I've had plenty of casual sex. In the majority of cases, I found it ultimately unfulfilling and unsatisfying. Of the partners I've had, only five were actually really great lovers, three were mind-blowing. Number of partners for these gentleman: 4, 11, 7, 31, 20's.
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
 
Old 11-11-2013, 02:43 PM
 
11 posts, read 10,150 times
Reputation: 19
Quote:
Originally Posted by JoeCollege View Post
No. There are only Madonnas and whores. I think that's what this forum says, anyway.
So there is no middle ground at all??? A selective woman like me who isn't religious?

BTW I don't even like hearing when men brag about the number of women they slept with. I'm not like that and never understood what's the point of having casual sex nor ONS at bars.
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
 
Old 11-11-2013, 02:45 PM
 
Location: State of Transition
77,782 posts, read 69,755,523 times
Reputation: 75528
Quote:
Originally Posted by DexterL View Post
So there is no middle ground at all??? A selective woman like me who isn't religious?
It was a sarcastic remark. Anyway, it takes time to find the right person/s. Be patient, circulate, and talk to women.
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
Please register to post and access all features of our very popular forum. It is free and quick. Over $68,000 in prizes has already been given out to active posters on our forum. Additional giveaways are planned.

Detailed information about all U.S. cities, counties, and zip codes on our site: City-data.com.


Reply
Please update this thread with any new information or opinions. This open thread is still read by thousands of people, so we encourage all additional points of view.

Quick Reply
Message:

Over $104,000 in prizes was already given out to active posters on our forum and additional giveaways are planned!

Go Back   City-Data Forum > General Forums > Relationships
Similar Threads
Follow City-Data.com founder on our Forum or

All times are GMT -6.

2005-2019, Advameg, Inc. | Please obey Forum Rules | Terms of Use and Privacy Policy

City-Data.com - Archive 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12, 13, 14, 15, 16, 17, 18, 19, 20, 21, 22, 23, 24, 25, 26, 27, 28, 29, 30, 31, 32, 33, 34, 35 - Top