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Old 11-14-2013, 12:49 PM
 
Location: Florida
769 posts, read 975,493 times
Reputation: 576

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[quote=tim71new;32223826
Step one: choose an easy field that makes $40k/yr
Step two: scope out the guys who make more
Step three pressure some $80k/yr STEM field guy into marrying just as her looks are declining.
[/quote]

Hmm...see I make almost 3 times as much as Step One.

Step Two: scoping out guys that make more. At 40+ they usually are paying child support or alimoney to the first wives who were gold diggers. So on paper they may make a lot but figuring all the $$ they pay out...they aren't doing that great.


Step three: If I pressured some guy into marrying me who makes 80K a year that would be a step down for me because I STILL make more than they do.
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Old 11-14-2013, 12:51 PM
 
1,450 posts, read 1,894,906 times
Reputation: 1350
Quote:
Originally Posted by tim71new View Post
In relationship forums, I always read things like "he's been with you for 4 years and hasn't popped the question?"

I think people need to realize that men are the party who has everything to lose while women are the only group who has anything to gain. This is assuming that the woman is hypergamous - dates men who are better than her - and, most are.

I can't understand how a guy is expected to sign a lopsided contract with someone who makes less, therefore not offering as much as he does.

Sure, people say "men need to grow up and stop fearing commitment," but seeing as women initiate two-thirds of divorces, maybe they need the lecture in commitment.

Seeing as marriage is dying, kind of like chivalry, why do you feel entitled to it (especially after only a few years)?
It sounds like marriage isn't for you.

It sounds like you don't exactly understand the meaning of the word hypergamous either.
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Old 11-14-2013, 12:52 PM
 
1,450 posts, read 1,894,906 times
Reputation: 1350
Quote:
Originally Posted by horsechick71 View Post
Hmm...see I make almost 3 times as much as Step One.

Step Two: scoping out guys that make more. At 40+ they usually are paying child support or alimoney to the first wives who were gold diggers. So on paper they may make a lot but figuring all the $$ they pay out...they aren't doing that great.


Step three: If I pressured some guy into marrying me who makes 80K a year that would be a step down for me because I STILL make more than they do.
First wives(actually their children) receiving child support makes them gold diggers?
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Old 11-14-2013, 01:04 PM
 
Location: Round Rock, Texas
13,441 posts, read 15,413,498 times
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LOL @ at the jaded kids these days...
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Old 11-14-2013, 01:06 PM
 
Location: State of Transition
102,126 posts, read 107,402,364 times
Reputation: 115947
Quote:
Originally Posted by Larkspur123 View Post
First wives(actually their children) receiving child support makes them gold diggers?
That "gold digger" situation could be easily avoided if dad takes the kids after the divorce. Not too many dads opt for that, though.
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Old 11-14-2013, 01:09 PM
 
Location: Up in the air
19,112 posts, read 30,582,558 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Ruth4Truth View Post
That "gold digger" situation could be easily avoided if dad takes the kids after the divorce. Not too many dads opt for that, though.
This is very true. I believe the stats are that men get joint custody as much as women, but they simply don't request it. Wouldn't want the burden of kids getting in the way of their new life as a bachelor.
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Old 11-14-2013, 01:09 PM
 
5,291 posts, read 5,217,330 times
Reputation: 18658
Women dont feel "entitled" to marriage. Most women want a husband and a family. And oddly enough, so do most men. If you dont, then dont. Dont date women who have indicated they eventually want to marry and have a family. Has nothing with "entitlement", it has to do with what a person wants for their life.
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Old 11-14-2013, 01:12 PM
 
Location: Florida
769 posts, read 975,493 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Larkspur123 View Post
First wives(actually their children) receiving child support makes them gold diggers?
It was kind of tongue in cheek to him because he makes it sound like women are mooches. IF I was with someone that was paying out a ton of money to previous marriages...I would be the supporter.
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Old 11-14-2013, 01:23 PM
 
5,730 posts, read 10,108,066 times
Reputation: 8052
Quote:
Originally Posted by Ruth4Truth View Post
Maybe the real question is: Why do some men think women think they're owed marriage?
Because women say things including in threads here about how... If after 2years (common time limit, others were used) they don't get a proposal... They are issuing an ultimatum. And dog piling on guys fussing about them "wasting her time"

Saw one of those threads within the last few days.

Fortunately, my GF is divorced, and very happy with our relationship, and not interested in getting married again.
But I'm aware of how rare she is/lucky I am.
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Old 11-14-2013, 01:30 PM
 
Location: NoVa
18,431 posts, read 34,293,805 times
Reputation: 19814
I think a lot of this thread is a load of crap, of course the OP has his own perception.

If a woman is making a lesser amount of money than a man, I am sure he knows it and he has choices. He can marry her or he can not marry her. He is not forced to marry her.

I got married pretty young and I was not working. I stayed home and took care of our home and children, as well as both of my parents until their passing. That was a tough job.

When both of my kids were in school, I started working. I made almost as much as he did. He had a drinking habit and I paid most of our bills. I am not sure where his money went, probably to the beer and vodka.

Once we separated, I had the kids and we had joint custody. That meant that we both had custody of the kids and he had physical custody. I did everything to make sure he saw the kids as much as possible, and in reality, even though they lived with me, he saw them more.

After a couple of years or so, he got physical custody. Oh, he did pay child support, when he thought I deserved it. I have no idea why the judge felt like he should deliver me the check.

Why did he get physical custody? An alcoholic abuser? Because he could afford a lawyer and I could not. Well, I think he stopped drinking for a while, but he has started back up. I am not sure for how long it has been going on.

Does he get child support? Yes he does. You mean I am a woman who makes less than him and I have to actually pay child support? OMG! Of course I do.

I am now with a man that makes sooooooo much more than I do. I did not pick him because of his money. I had no idea what he made. I picked him because of his heart. We are so good together. Does he not want to be with me because I make so less than him? I don't think so. If he didn't, I couldn't tell.

That is because he is allowed to make his own choices. Just like I was allowed to make my choice to break the sanctity of marriage. It is not how I wanted things to go going into it, not at all. A person can only take so much.

The fact that my children are with him kills me. The fact that his lawyer could sweet talk the judge and allow my kids to go to him.... I was so angry back then. I have gotten over it. Now that I have found out he is drinking again..... I don't know what to do.

Men are not some perfect creature, neither are women. We were put on this earth for one another.

As others have said, OP, just don't get married. Problem solved. Also don't have children.

Oh, I don't get alimony or spousal support for you guys sitting there thinking I do.
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