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It was November 14, 2012 when the love of my life told me that he wanted his independence.
It has been a struggle. As the regulars here know, beside the breakup, I had to leave my job, move 600 miles back home, and start over. In that time, I got a job, bought a different car and bought a house.
I want others who are going through this to know that you CAN get through it. Lean on your friends and family. People DO love and care about you and WANT to help. Even my daughters dog "took care of me emotionally". I am not saying that I am over him, because Im not. I still think of him every day. I still feel guilty if i chat with another man! I have accepted that this is how my life is.
A male friend of mine suggested I find a Rebound Guy, but I couldnt do that. No one deserves to be used like that, and Im not going to hurt another person either. I dont hate men. In fact, I hope that I will be able to share my life with one some day. If that isnt in the cards, thats okay, but Id rather have someone.
The holidays are coming up and I may be alone for Thanksgiving, but Ill be okay. If you are going through this, it IS exceptionally hard, but dont give up on yourself. Your finances, job, and self-esteem may all take a huge hit. You are stronger than you think.
And I have friends here to thank for helping get me through: J, P, and especially K. Hugs to all.
I am in the same position as you. I don't want to be with someone just to be with them. I am spending Turkey Day with my family in Florida. My cousin has a new baby that I plan on spoiling royally.
My ex is dating someone and he was afraid to tell me thinking I would be hurt. Um. No not quite. I am the one that chose to leave him and move to a new state not the other way around. He is one of those type of guys that can't be alone and will always have a girl friend.
It was November 14, 2012 when the love of my life told me that he wanted his independence.
It has been a struggle. As the regulars here know, beside the breakup, I had to leave my job, move 600 miles back home, and start over. In that time, I got a job, bought a different car and bought a house.
I want others who are going through this to know that you CAN get through it. Lean on your friends and family. People DO love and care about you and WANT to help. Even my daughters dog "took care of me emotionally". I am not saying that I am over him, because Im not. I still think of him every day. I still feel guilty if i chat with another man! I have accepted that this is how my life is.
A male friend of mine suggested I find a Rebound Guy, but I couldnt do that. No one deserves to be used like that, and Im not going to hurt another person either. I dont hate men. In fact, I hope that I will be able to share my life with one some day. If that isnt in the cards, thats okay, but Id rather have someone.
The holidays are coming up and I may be alone for Thanksgiving, but Ill be okay. If you are going through this, it IS exceptionally hard, but dont give up on yourself. Your finances, job, and self-esteem may all take a huge hit. You are stronger than you think.
And I have friends here to thank for helping get me through: J, P, and especially K. Hugs to all.
I always appreciate an update, so thanks!
You are doing it - just keep putting one foot in front of the other okay?
A female friend I know was screwed over really bad. Her husband cheated, she had a miscarriage and obviously her marriage ended. She starting dating and it really helped her. I mean she had more guys than she knew what to do with. She found a guy who would be her 2nd husband not long after and they're still together now and have kids.
You're not using guys. They want to date you too.
Leading them on and then rejecting them. That would be using them.
It was November 14, 2012 when the love of my life told me that he wanted his independence.
It has been a struggle. As the regulars here know, beside the breakup, I had to leave my job, move 600 miles back home, and start over. In that time, I got a job, bought a different car and bought a house.
I want others who are going through this to know that you CAN get through it. Lean on your friends and family. People DO love and care about you and WANT to help. Even my daughters dog "took care of me emotionally". I am not saying that I am over him, because Im not. I still think of him every day. I still feel guilty if i chat with another man! I have accepted that this is how my life is.
A male friend of mine suggested I find a Rebound Guy, but I couldnt do that. No one deserves to be used like that, and Im not going to hurt another person either. I dont hate men. In fact, I hope that I will be able to share my life with one some day. If that isnt in the cards, thats okay, but Id rather have someone.
The holidays are coming up and I may be alone for Thanksgiving, but Ill be okay. If you are going through this, it IS exceptionally hard, but dont give up on yourself. Your finances, job, and self-esteem may all take a huge hit. You are stronger than you think.
And I have friends here to thank for helping get me through: J, P, and especially K. Hugs to all.
I am not familiar with your story, and I have been through the heartache and pain that comes with a long-term relationship ending (a few times, mind you, with the "love of my life"). I cried myself to sleep many nights, felt like an emotionless zombie only going through the motions of the day, I lost interests in things that I once enjoyed; I even went on a serious bender once. Have had break-ups around my birthday, Thanksgiving, Christmas, too. It royally sucked, there was nothing pleasant about it all. Heck, one time I even considered antidepressants I was so devastated.
But, it was all temporary and after a few weeks to a month I was back on my feet. Bummed, sure, but no longer feeling down. I'm going to be blunt: we are the sources for our own happiness and joy. It does not come other people, even though many on here will disagree that. I know there are some exceptions, for example those that leave really long-term relationships (10+ years) and have become so used to having that other person around that they cannot conceive life without them there even if it needs to end, sure, but in general our significant others are just icing on the cake. You need to be happy and feel whole and complete by yourself and of yourself.
As for the rebound guy...I personally never went this route as I knew that it would not ultimately make me feel better, but as a guy I can assure that most men would not feel used if they were your hook. Especially if you were honest with them about it.
Not sure if that matters from any other day I spend alone.
I have very few friends (none locally) and very little in the way of family. There is no family in my area at all.
I'd rather be alone than settle. Ex wife and I broke up in 2007. I never considered having someone just as a rebound person. It's not worth it.
I am glad things are progressing in your life! And I agree that the point of a rebound guy is that he agrees to be that guy. Maybe he is in the same boat -- that can work out perfectly, IME. But it is also just fine if you want the space for being with yourself, and not with anyone .
Meta, you, and I have talked on CD before, so I wanted to say I hope you weather this storm, and become stronger because of it. Between my parents, step-parents, and myself, I have seen many relationships dissolved, and the heartache that follows. But know this. As someone else posted, we all make our own happiness in this life. If we find someone who wishes to share that happiness with us, they only enhance that happiness. You will find your path through all of this.
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