Maybe Persistence Pays Off? (date, boyfriends, girlfriend, married)
Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
It’s nice to know things may actually be panning out for me.
I met this girl about a year back through a club we both belong to. We started talking a lot more 7 months ago and hanging out 5 months ago. There was a group of friends that was formed around the same time with her brother, two of her roommates and a few other outsiders.
The girl I’ve been interested in has a boyfriend who lives a few states over going to school. They’ve been together for around 2 years – but I know they fight a bunch, have broken up and gotten back together multiple times.
During this time we’ve been hanging out, the two of us flirt all the time, but of course, out of respect, nothing else comes of it. As the months have progressed, the two of us went from seeing each other once a week to now 3-4 times per week. Usually in a group setting, but we’ve had multiple dinners together and have done things just as the two of us. We have a lot in common (future goals, interests etc) and I love how there are days she can act like she's 5 at one moment and we can goof around, and the next like she's 25 (her actual age) talking about life, investing etc.
On Friday night, she invited me to go to the bars with her brother and his girlfriend and two other couples (not too unusual for the two of us). When we were there, she was acting like she was interested in everyone but me, and frankly I was pissed about it. I left and drove home and didn’t reply to her texts about her being worried about me driving (which I probably shouldn’t have) and to let her know when I got home OK.
We had group plans the next day and there was mild tension between us. At the end of the day, her roommate texts me that her roommate and I needed to talk, so we grabbed coffee yesterday.
Her roommate and I talked for almost two hours. Learned a lot. Turns out that there’s been a lot of talking going on about this girl and I – and everyone likes us together – even her brother who refused to talk to me about it apparently has been trying to get us together. The kicker – her roommate and her talked on Saturday morning before I came over about what happened Friday night. In a roundabout way, she admitted that she does have feelings for me and has recently realized this (thus creating a problem when she has a BF). Her roommate said to just keep doing what I’m doing (being myself) and she’ll probably continue to realize this and the time may come.
Needless to say, I really appreciated her insight. Before that, I really wasn't sure if I was seeing what I wanted to see instead of reality.
All my mom said was “Why can’t you find a girl who is less complicated.” LOL.
So, you, a guy who feels no compunction in hanging around and hitting on a woman who has a boyfriend, are angling for a woman who conducts emotional affairs behind her boyfriends' backs and doesn't have the decency to end one relationship before sliding into another.
So, you're angling for a woman who conducts emotional affairs behind her boyfriends' backs and doesn't have the decency to end one relationship before sliding into another.
So, you, a guy who feels no compunction in hanging around and hitting on a woman who has a boyfriend, are angling for a woman who conducts emotional affairs behind her boyfriends' backs and doesn't have the decency to end one relationship before sliding into another.
Good job. Perfect match.
Well it didn't start off as that. Sure, she's cute, but I didn't have any intentions until I got to know her more. And we haven't actually done anything. Both of us have made sure of that.
And I'm pretty sure I've had married women flirt with me... actually, all the time.
Well it didn't start off as that. Sure, she's cute, but I didn't have any intentions until I got to know her more. And we haven't actually done anything. Both of us have made sure of that.
And I'm pretty sure I've had married women flirt with me... actually, all the time.
There are no accidents. You are gearing up for something to happen. At least own it.
I am a lot older then you are and this isn't the first time I have seen this from both directions and from both side's. Here is the kicker that most never see coming..... If she dose break up with him to date you clearly your relationship that you have now will change. This mean's when you get into arguments either she will throw up the fact she left her ex for you or you'll bring up the fact she spent so much time with you while she had a boyfriend that you can't trust her in being just friends with another male. Another thought is that the problems and issues that she's having with her now boyfriend that you comforted her during, which I can only guess that most likely you took her side of the disagreement, might change drastically when its you on the other side of it. Now this bring's up the biggest problem, in her mind you understood her thoughts and feelings on matters between her and her boyfriend, so she will always believe that you will understand her side of any arguments which is impossible for anyone to do. Hence this brings more disagreements between the two of you. I am sure if her boyfriend was there to tell his side of the problem instead of you only hearing what information she wants you to know about it, you might feel different. Woman are never going to tell you everything, we only tell the facts we want you to know or the facts that make us look less guilty or facts that will make you come to our side of the matter. My thoughts on all this is that when your feelings change and that person is in any kind of relationship with another you should respect that and step aside. If and when they break up you can then sit them down and tell them how you feel, this way you know that their relationship ended because because it was suppose not because of any outside influences. If their relationship didn't run it's own course then the threat of her going back because she feels there is more left undone with him is very high. There is three of you in her relationship with him and there will always be the three of you in your relationship with her. Treat other's like you would want to be treated.
I am a lot older then you are and this isn't the first time I have seen this from both directions and from both side's. Here is the kicker that most never see coming..... If she dose break up with him to date you clearly your relationship that you have now will change. This mean's when you get into arguments either she will throw up the fact she left her ex for you or you'll bring up the fact she spent so much time with you while she had a boyfriend that you can't trust her in being just friends with another male. Another thought is that the problems and issues that she's having with her now boyfriend that you comforted her during, which I can only guess that most likely you took her side of the disagreement, might change drastically when its you on the other side of it. Now this bring's up the biggest problem, in her mind you understood her thoughts and feelings on matters between her and her boyfriend, so she will always believe that you will understand her side of any arguments which is impossible for anyone to do. Hence this brings more disagreements between the two of you. I am sure if her boyfriend was there to tell his side of the problem instead of you only hearing what information she wants you to know about it, you might feel different. Woman are never going to tell you everything, we only tell the facts we want you to know or the facts that make us look less guilty or facts that will make you come to our side of the matter. My thoughts on all this is that when your feelings change and that person is in any kind of relationship with another you should respect that and step aside. If and when they break up you can then sit them down and tell them how you feel, this way you know that their relationship ended because because it was suppose not because of any outside influences. If their relationship didn't run it's own course then the threat of her going back because she feels there is more left undone with him is very high. There is three of you in her relationship with him and there will always be the three of you in your relationship with her. Treat other's like you would want to be treated.
I've actually refused to talk to her about her BF -- she tried twice and I told her I didn't want anything to do with it (to not be the shoulder to cry on, thus permanently friend zoned). I have not and will never suggest she ends it with her BF. She needs to figure it out on her own, which it appears she is.
Please register to post and access all features of our very popular forum. It is free and quick. Over $68,000 in prizes has already been given out to active posters on our forum. Additional giveaways are planned.
Detailed information about all U.S. cities, counties, and zip codes on our site: City-data.com.
Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
