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Been running into a lot of young ladies lately that are still emotionally connected to their exes? Is it just me or does it seem like a lot of people are trying to generate relationships without taking the time to heal properly from their last relationship. I think the proper term is emotional unavailability. Pretty sure that men and women are suffering from this same issue.
Do you think that it is healthy to date and proceed to enter a new relationship while still dealing with relationship issues of the past?
If no.....How will a man/woman know when they are ready to move on to a new relationship?
I think it's fine to have a casual relationship in that sit, if that's what both parties want. I think it's pretty impractical to attempt a serious one.
Unfortunately I've heard this saying too much, "the best way to get over someone is to fine someone new". Obviously, it's untrue, but if "everyone" is saying it, people must believe it.
No, I don't think it's healthy to start something new when you're still dealing with the past. It's too bad most people will do this route though. I've seen my fair share of men who aren't over their x's....which could have been from 15 years ago. The only time I'd say it's okay, is if both parties agree to it, and it's out in the open (like a FWB situation).
Personally, my gauge to determine if I'm ready is if I feel nothing for an X. No anger, regret, sadness, happiness, etc. If I think of him and feel nothing, then I know I'm over him and the relationship. Until then, I'm still harboring something towards him or the relationship.
I think you are setting yourself up for heartbreak when you date someone who is till in love with their ex. I've been in that situation and it never ended well. You can befriend them, but if you are looking for a long term relationship it's best to find someone who has dealt with their past and is ready to move on.
Best wishes.
Been running into a lot of young ladies lately that are still emotionally connected to their exes? Is it just me or does it seem like a lot of people are trying to generate relationships without taking the time to heal properly from their last relationship. I think the proper term is emotional unavailability. Pretty sure that men and women are suffering from this same issue.
Do you think that it is healthy to date and proceed to enter a new relationship while still dealing with relationship issues of the past?
If no.....How will a man/woman know when they are ready to move on to a new relationship?
Your thoughts.....
It is surely not healthy to jump from one relationship to another, however, most people do not realize the reality of what they are doing, as they have been programmed by society and their families, you have to be a couple to be successful. If a person, cannot be alone, and be content with the company they keep, know themselves, know their needs wants and desires, as we all have them, starting up a relationship with anyone is just plain emotional suicide. I would not date anyone who hasn't been out of a relationship for at least 2 years and has been on their own...otherwise, they are dating for all the wrong reasons. If I were you, I'd run like anything!
It is surely not healthy to jump from one relationship to another, however, most people do not realize the reality of what they are doing, as they have been programmed by society and their families, you have to be a couple to be successful. If a person, cannot be alone, and be content with the company they keep, know themselves, know their needs wants and desires, as we all have them, starting up a relationship with anyone is just plain emotional suicide. I would not date anyone who hasn't been out of a relationship for at least 2 years and has been on their own...otherwise, they are dating for all the wrong reasons. If I were you, I'd run like anything!
Well said, and I agree completely.
OP, I've noticed this trend lately too, and I was very surprised when one of my friends went from living with his boyfriend of five years to immediately living with another dude in a matter of months. And for some, they think that's healing. Humans use each other as distractions, and we all know that doesn't work but do it anyway. It's easier than solving emotional problems.
I think success of this depends on if you WANT to move on emotionally. If you want to, then it's ok to me. If you don't want to, then it's not ok to me. A person who wants to move on will act like they want to move on by cutting off contact, by not talking about the ex with the new prospect (this is the one most people fail at) and especially not continuing to see the ex.
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