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But #4 implies that looks don't matter at all. If that were the case - you would view a morbidly obese person covered in tumors in the same light that you would a supermodel. Looks do matter - but not in the way that you are thinking they do. Looks are a part of who someone is - not necessarily the main part but a part nonetheless.
That's not practical. More realistic is a average, but cute woman rejecting a tall handsome guy in favor of a guy 1 inch shorter than her, and not great looking because he treats her better and is more compatible. Or maybe she dates them both. The point is that she does not reject the 2nd guy. That type of person would answer #4.
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Originally Posted by jillabean
I am saying that (unless the woman is in a bar or other pick up place) they don't get asked out 4 times within a short span of time. At least, not that I've ever seen or experienced*. I think of myself as average.
It might be a difference of male verses female perspective though.
Some men will say that if a strange man is nice to you or talks then he's interested and hitting on you and some will even think by doing so, they are "asking you out". But most women (including me) define it as when a man asks your number, asks you out on a date, etc. So if he doesn't ask for a number or whatever, then I just figure it's nothing more than a friendly conversation.
* I have to add this this side note, because it's not entirely true that I've not experienced it, but it's really not the topic at hand since I am not going to break up an established relationship to give some random stranger a try. But I've noticed, for some reason, when I have a boyfriend/established relationship with a man, men come out of the woodwork hitting on and asking me out. Some don't know I am seeing someone because they don't know me and I am not with my boyfriend. But a few know full and well I am seeing someone and try anyway.
It's like there is some kind of mark on me that says, "she's seeing someone, try to steal her from her boyfriend." It's just weird or co-incidence, I don't know. But it doesn't seem like it happens a lot to me. But when I am single and looking and trying, then I can't find anyone. I go months without anyone asking me out or responding to my advances. Heh, it's probably why I often advise people here who are looking for someone, unsuccessfully, to just live their lives. Always seems to work better for me than actually looking.
Lol. What's short time frame to you? 24 hours?
I was thinking a few months. 4 guys expressing interest within 4 or 5 months. Maybe you're kinda dating this so-so guy, and some hot guy who turns your engine really comes along. Yahoo!
That's not practical. More realistic is a average, but cute woman rejecting a tall handsome guy in favor of a guy 1 inch shorter than her, and not great looking because he treats her better and is more compatible. Or maybe she dates them both. The point is that she does not reject the 2nd guy. That type of person would answer #4.
Lol. What's short time frame to you? 24 hours?
I was thinking a few months. 4 guys expressing interest within 4 or 5 months. Maybe you're kinda dating this so-so guy, and some hot guy who turns your engine really comes along. Yahoo!
I was thinking months too... I don't know, maybe if you are someplace around a lot of singles (like online dating or in college or someplace where you interact with a lot of people like being a cashier or you go to a lot of parties) it will be a higher number. I am am thinking about someone going about their daily, normal life, going to the office seeing the same people, going out to lunch, going out on the weekends and maybe meeting people along the way, etc. Most of the men I run in to aren't available... and even if they are, then I have to be their type and they have to have the time and maybe nerve to ask for my number or be interested enough in me to let me get their number. It just doesn't happen that often. Maybe once ever 4-5 months, certainly not once a month.
But still, who dumps someone they are seeing for someone "hotter" other than a shallow jerk (and that jerk can be male or female)? "Kinda dating" sounds like stringing along to me, making the person who dumps even more of a jerk in my book. Not much is lower brown in the dating world than stringing along a person and playing with that person's emotions only to dump them when "something better" comes along.
1) As previously mentioned, the difference becomes relatively insignificant after a certain bar, which I set fairly low
2) I have to deal with d@uchebags hitting on her all the time and b@tches making comments about how she can do better than me, etc.
3) It's more likely that she'll have an attitude or ego that she deserves the best (though not necessarily, I think people who are not attractive have this attitude too) and is likely more high maintenance and less grounded.
4) I have been conditioned over the years to think top women are not that attractive anyway, probably because I had no shot.
5) I implant it in my own head consciously that looks aren't that important. If I'm spouting all day and complaining about how women are shallow, and then I turn around and want the very best looking woman, well what does that make me?
There's more, but I think that's enough.
Just ignore douchebags hitting on her & also people saying she could do better than you - its only really what you and her think. Why is it more than likely she'll have an attitude or ego? Thats a crazy stereo type to make.
Overall, this just sounds like poor excuses and limiting beliefs to me.
That's not practical. More realistic is a average, but cute woman rejecting a tall handsome guy in favor of a guy 1 inch shorter than her, and not great looking because he treats her better and is more compatible. Or maybe she dates them both. The point is that she does not reject the 2nd guy. That type of person would answer #4.
I think more people are like that than you think. But your poll doesn't really spell out that scenario.
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I was thinking a few months. 4 guys expressing interest within 4 or 5 months. Maybe you're kinda dating this so-so guy, and some hot guy who turns your engine really comes along. Yahoo!
Is this what you really think the majority of women are like? They'll date someone average until someone better comes along and then just kick the average guy to the curb?
Location: Huntersville/Charlotte, NC and Washington, DC
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This would be the option I feel closer to.
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Agree. Looks are important, but I would sacrifice the best for maybe someone a bit lower who had other characteristics I desire more than looks.
I'd take B-tier looks with A-tier compatibility over the inverse. Combos like F-tier looks and B/A-tier compatibility or A looks with D compatibility wouldn't work with me.
Yep, a great personality doesn't overshadow blah looks for me but hot looks sure as hell don't make up for a crappy personalty either. I've tried both, neither work
I was thinking months too... I don't know, maybe if you are someplace around a lot of singles (like online dating or in college or someplace where you interact with a lot of people like being a cashier or you go to a lot of parties) it will be a higher number. I am am thinking about someone going about their daily, normal life, going to the office seeing the same people, going out to lunch, going out on the weekends and maybe meeting people along the way, etc. Most of the men I run in to aren't available... and even if they are, then I have to be their type and they have to have the time and maybe nerve to ask for my number or be interested enough in me to let me get their number. It just doesn't happen that often. Maybe once ever 4-5 months, certainly not once a month.
I agree. I think many of the guys here in this forum have a very unrealistic view of women and how they go about their daily lives, and the men that they meet.
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