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I have read some similar threads on here but have not found an answer to my question. I am a male, Married with teenage kids, my wife and I are the same age. We have been married for 20+ years and have a good relationship. I am interested in what women think of this and what there advice would be.
My question is this. my wife does not like to talk about our sexual relationship. From what I have read that is not uncommon. She does not communicate any sexual response to me during sex either and if I bring our sex life up she changes the subject. She never, or almost never, initiates sex. She will not perform sex acts on me unless I ask. If I do ask she will. (nothing to wild here). I have been making love to her and while she was enjoying it (she says she did) she would be pushing me away. when I ask her about this she says she does not remember doing that and everything was great, that's the end of it.
At the same time she almost never says no to my advances.
I am getting a bit frustrated here. I would like to keep our sex lives alive and well and I believe that takes some communication about what we want and how we want it, when we want it. How do I go about getting her to communicate about our sex lives or is it just not going to happen?
20 years and now you want to know the answer??
She's gunna leave you man. Wait till the kids are grown...
1. She doesn't like sex with you
2. She is faking orgasms
3. She still sleeps with you because she is worried you leave her or cheat
So what you can do is:
1. Find out if she has any sexual desire at all (maybe she goes crazy on porn and you don't even know it)
2. Have her hormone levels checked
3. Be better at sex - give her massages, bring flowers, turn on music, take her to a spa, be more emotional, be more sensitive, more attentive ... try to find out what exactly she likes, where she wants to be touched
4. Get her drunk and then ask her wtf she wants and needs.
Do you all have some ideas about how to go about helping our communication? do we try to read something together and discuss it? have any of you felt the way she feels and successfully changed your views and opened up about your sexuality and become more open and able to discus that with your spouse? if so , how did you do it?
thanks,
IMHO, nothing will change unless she wants it to change. I agree that you are going to need counseling to get her to consider your point of view.
To the OP: Your wife sounds just like someone else I know. Face it, she is what she is. She doesn't like talking about it much, she says she enjoys it and does have orgasms. If you're looking for a complete change of personality or behavior through counseling, forget it. Enjoy your sex life, love your wife, and IMHO, you're doing pretty good. Lots of men in sex starved marriages, lots of men divorced, cheated on. You married a woman I assume you love, not a sex machine. Besides from what I've read, the women that are "great in the sack" are also often the ones that have mental health issues. Enjoy your live life, love your wife and be thankful for the happiness you have together.
I have read some similar threads on here but have not found an answer to my question. I am a male, Married with teenage kids, my wife and I are the same age. We have been married for 20+ years and have a good relationship. I am interested in what women think of this and what there advice would be.
My question is this. my wife does not like to talk about our sexual relationship. From what I have read that is not uncommon. She does not communicate any sexual response to me during sex either and if I bring our sex life up she changes the subject. She never, or almost never, initiates sex. She will not perform sex acts on me unless I ask. If I do ask she will. (nothing to wild here). I have been making love to her and while she was enjoying it (she says she did) she would be pushing me away. when I ask her about this she says she does not remember doing that and everything was great, that's the end of it.
At the same time she almost never says no to my advances.
I am getting a bit frustrated here. I would like to keep our sex lives alive and well and I believe that takes some communication about what we want and how we want it, when we want it. How do I go about getting her to communicate about our sex lives or is it just not going to happen?
Have you ever asked her WHAT HER TASTE'S ARE as far as Sex is concerned, and how good a lover are you???? Ever ask yourself that question??
Thanks for the responses. I thought she might have had something happen in the past as well. I have asked about it and she claims nothing ever happened and that she had a normal childhood. she does have orgasms and doesn't give any indication that she does not enjoy our time together. its more a matter of participation.
banned - playing the good wife, is were I am at now.. my question then is if we can't communicate about what she wants or would like. how do we improve things? to me, this has to be a mutual endeavor. Counseling is probably a good idea, not sure if she would go.
Do you all have some ideas about how to go about helping our communication? do we try to read something together and discuss it? have any of you felt the way she feels and successfully changed your views and opened up about your sexuality and become more open and able to discus that with your spouse? if so , how did you do it?
thanks,
Leave little love notes around the house, in her car, etc...letting her know how much she excites you, how much you want her, how much you love her, how good she makes you feel when your together. Your so proud she is your wife & the love of your life.
Spend more time on foreplay. Kiss, touch, use your tongue all over her. Particularly pay much attention to the spots which gives her the most pleasure, enjoyment, turns her on. Ask her what feels Wonderful?
Take your love/wife out for dates weekly or semi weekly. Take her to dinner, dancing. Sometimes maybe a movie or concert, play, etc etc...
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