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I hated being the dumper more than a dumpee. Nothing is worse than knowing you are going to crush someone. Maybe I do have a heart, I better stop that business.
^^^^^ I've been both and I feel the same. I actually got more upset than him at dumping him! Knowing that I was causing someone pain just made me feel like ****. I would rather be dumped.
What good arguments did the show present to show it could be the dumper?
Some already said it.
Hurt that once again the relationship failed.
The angry ex that makes their life a living hell.
The emotional detachment that must happen.
Known by the circle of friends as the dumper whom just went after a hootch.
Uh, just because someone thought about the situation prior to dumping someone does not really give them all the power. Nor is it always a gradual situation for the dumper. Yes, sometimes the dumper may have made the decision to dump the other long before they made the announcement, giving them plenty of time to "move on", but if this is the case, the other person should have seen the writing on the wall long before, too. Sorry, but when a person checks out of a relationship their actions generally show that.
Being dumped sucks, oh yes it does, but dumping someone is no walk in the park and I would bet that those on here who claim it is worse to be the dumpee saw the dumper as a person he or she really wasn't. As I wrote, you can generally get a sense that something is "not quite right" some time before the break up happens. And if the break-up happens out of the blue, or even if it were a long time coming, you are now free from someone who does not want to be with you. Which ultimately is a good thing as in reality they are doing you a huge favor by not drawing the relationship out even further, allowing you to find someone who truly wants to be with you. Yes, it is easier said than done, but think about it. Why there are people on here, and out in the real world, who believe that someone owes them love and commitment is beyond me.
Dumping someone is not easy, even if you have good reason to do so. Do you think that it is easy to watch the other crying and begging you to change your mind? To see them do everything they can think of in hopes of "winning you back"? To kick your own self in the behind and beat yourself up for seeing the hurt and then wondering if you could have made it work, even though you know it won't? Only a real douchebag would say no, and if that is the case, they are ultimately doing you a favor.
It royally sucks to be dumped, the heartache is the worst. But to say it is easier to dump someone...give me a break.
It takes two people to make a relationship work, yet only one to end it. In all honesty, any reason to break-up with somebody is a valid reason. Just because you do not understand, get it, or simply think it is a stupid reason does not change the fact that the other has made a conscious decision to end it with you. When I was younger, I dwelled on it, too, often times thinking I made some sort of mistake, where things went wrong, and so on. If I couldn't find any legitimate reason to end the relationship, I moved on with the idea that the chick was lame. If I recognized I made some key mistakes, I didn't blame her. But always I realized that I still had a life to live and if it were to be with her, then it would be with someone else. Now that I am older, and I hope to never go through it again from either side, I at least now my own self worth and if it were to ever happen again it is probably for the best.
You can never prepare yourself enough and you never know how someone is going to react. Ever break-up with someone who just wasn't having it? Or who decided they were "going to show you" or "make you regret your decision"? Have you ever broke-up with someone only to have them say, "yeah, ok, you're right", and then you think to yourself hey, wait a minute!? Unless the relationship is long past due and both of you know this, breaking-up is rarely smooth sailing for either persons.
Sure thing.
If that helps you feel better about exiting a relationship, then have at it.
There is a very fine line when using the "the writing was on the wall, therefore the other person should know."
It doesnt work like that. Not every time. Perhaps in your mind the writing is on the wall. But a relationship isnt over until an actual break up occurs.
But, anywho.
To each their own.
Every time I dumped someone, it was 10x's easier than being dumped.
I don't feel the need to quote someone on this topic, because this is mostly personal preference.
Sharing an opinion on this subject, I get.
But arguing about it.... Kind of pointless. Thanks for sharing.
I think it depends on the person. Believe it or not, I've never dumped a guy... ever. But I wanted too. The reason I never have (even when I wanted to) is because I couldn't think of a way to do it in a way that I wouldn't hurt him and the idea of hurting someone else really, really bothers me. Eventually, the guy dumps me and I am happy with my "Get out of jail free" card.
The main reason I've been dumped is the guy was going off to college (or transferring to another college) and he said we should see other people. I was dumped once in high school because I wouldn't put out (I was still a virgin at that point and wasn't ready). I was also dumped one because a guy dropped out of school and moved away to join the Army. Technically, he just joined the army and never gave me his new contact info and we lost touch. And of course, my Ex husband dumped me because he came out of the closet and wanted to live that lifestyle.
In all of those cases, except one, I wanted the relationship over but was too afraid of hurting someone else to do it. The ones who broke up with me looked very tortured to bring it up (well, the ones that did it to my face that is). Me, I was off scott free! I always let them know I wasn't hurt and I agreed it was for the best (no sense letting them torture themselves with it after the fact).
So for me, it's easy to be the dumpee... I bounce back easily, don't get bitter or hold a grudge, etc and in most cases, it's what I wanted anyway. It's not in my personality to brood or be bitter--yes, I am one of those annoying happy people. Honestly, I think it's because I've had so much death in my life, close friends and family who, in some cases, died right in front of my eyes. Compared to that pain, anything else in life pales and is minor. It's like getting a splinter as opposed to breaking an arm.
But personality flaw wise, I never had the courage to be the dumper. And I've also been lucky in that the guys broke it off with me before I had to. Not sure what will happen if I ever get to a point where I have to give in and do what I don't want to do. Hopefully, I will never have to face it.
Known by the circle of friends as the dumper whom just went after a hootch.
Yeah, I can see how that must be really rough and take a long time to bounce back from.
I remember when my ex was VERY disturbed and distraught in the immediate aftermath of the dumping that my family, to whom he had been close, might think ill of his actions (which involved infidelity, deceit, etc.), and was really upset at the idea that both my family our mutual acquaintances would think he had mistreated me. Um, gee, ya think?
Yeah, I can see how that must be really rough and take a long time to bounce back from.
I remember when my ex was VERY disturbed and distraught in the immediate aftermath of the dumping that my family, to whom he had been close, might think ill of his actions (which involved infidelity, deceit, etc.), and was really upset at the idea that both my family our mutual acquaintances would think he had mistreated me. Um, gee, ya think?
Location: Huntersville/Charlotte, NC and Washington, DC
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Elained10
^^^^^ I've been both and I feel the same. I actually got more upset than him at dumping him! Knowing that I was causing someone pain just made me feel like ****. I would rather be dumped.
WOW!! You aren't made of stone I'm shocked!
Lol
Trust me, I have a super-hard exterior. A little bit of tenderness comes out rarely.
Just want to say it's only hard on the dumper when the dumpee hasn't done anything wrong. I've had to do it a couple of times to good X's. It was not fun at all. You would have to be a piece of human garbage to not have any feelings for the person. I say dumping is only easy if the dumpee has been a total ibtch or something. If she has been nasty and cruel, etc., I have no problems dumping and moving on.
I do not know but I been broking up via text and back in 7/8 grade a girl had her friend break up for her .
Been there it sucks.
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I'm shocked! 
