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its incorrect to presume - conclude that because of what I have written on this thread that I accordingly adopt a particular tone when out meeting people or women on dates , just like on dating websites , you cannot entirely gauge people by reading their text , djuna and zentropa of course can but they are our intellectual betters who selflessly offer priceless advice and wisdom to the world from behind their comp screen , we are priveledged to live in an age when such titans of knowledge exist
as for bar fights , its not that simple , a friend of mine was pushed from behind while walking down the street around ten years ago , a coked up idiot ran up behind him and knocked him flat on his face , I hit the guy square in the jaw with a punch , I view such a response as not only appropriate but honorable , ive never struck a woman , a person over sixty , a person under twenty bar when I was a kid in school myself , I don't consider myself a violent person
besides violence is everywhere in the world , all powerfull nations use it in order to either maintain or change things
Doesn't matter about powerful nations using violence, or if someone punching your shoulderblade is a sucker punch.
I would like to know why you so steadfastly cling to an unpleasant 4 months of your life from 15 years ago and have chosen to centre your whole life around it.
No one is defending the guy. He's likely a jerk. But you assaulting the guy was worse and you know what you did was wrong.
What exactly did this woman do to you?
She was a strict boss with a sharp tongue. Nevertheless, he equates his experience to that of a woman who was violently raped, Thereby diminishing the experience of rape victims everywhere.
And dude. Stop telling people the guy in the bar attacked you violently. He gave you a playful punch and did not know your body was so delicate because you never mentioned it during the many previous incidents of roughhousing. The only time you told him to knock it off was the last time he did it. But that wasn't enough for you. You stalked the bar night after night waiting for him to come in. You waited until he left again, snuck up from behind and sucker punched him in the parking lot.
We have all read the thread. You love to exaggerate your drama. It feeds something within you.
Now I am off to feed myself turkey with my normal, loving, nonviolent family!
Doesn't matter about powerful nations using violence, or if someone punching your shoulderblade is a sucker punch.
I would like to know why you so steadfastly cling to an unpleasant 4 months of your life from 15 years ago and have chosen to centre your whole life around it.
I don't centre my whole life around it , I don't tell anyone about it , I don't consider revealing these details to anonymous strangers on the net to be a huge revelation
I said it had an effect on me when it comes to forming relationships with women , a business partner doesn't care about what inner vibe you project as long as you honour an agreement but a potential romantic partner can read these things , I don't come across as angry , I do quite likely come across as sad however , not because of what I say , sometimes you can see it in a persons face , regardless of the level of abuse which I suffered at this other persons hands , its redicololous to simply discount abuse based on how long ago it happened , people are not let off for what they did in this world just because it happened twenty years ago , the Israeli authorities chased Nazis to south America when those men were into their eighties and while its chalk and cheese , the principal of elapsed time is the same
No one is defending the guy. He's likely a jerk. But you assaulting the guy was worse and you know what you did was wrong.
What exactly did this woman do to you?
I know no such thing , if it was to be done again , I would have hit him twice as hard , their were no witnesses to what he did so I was never going to get justice , he has cost me a lot of money and im in considerable pain nearly three months later , he assaulted me first , the one who strikes first is the more wrong , that's universally accepted by fair minded people
She was a strict boss with a sharp tongue. Nevertheless, he equates his experience to that of a woman who was violently raped, Thereby diminishing the experience of rape victims everywhere.
And dude. Stop telling people the guy in the bar attacked you violently. He gave you a playful punch and did not know your body was so delicate because you never mentioned it during the many previous incidents of roughhousing. The only time you told him to knock it off was the last time he did it. But that wasn't enough for you. You stalked the bar night after night waiting for him to come in. You waited until he left again, snuck up from behind and sucker punched him in the parking lot.
We have all read the thread. You love to exaggerate your drama. It feeds something within you.
Now I am off to feed myself turkey with my normal, loving, nonviolent family!
how can you claim to speak with authority about the details of what happened between myself and this guy in a bar ? or anywhere else for that matter
seriously , are you a professional internet troll ( or a lawyer perhaps ) who gets their kicks from soapboxing to people you know nothing about in a high handed fashion , your misrepresentation of facts is only matched by the level of conviction with which you deliver those distortions
as for your family , if that brood is anything like you , the more turkey they stuff in their pie holes the better , at least it would prevent them from spewing bile for a while
Last edited by irish_bob; 11-28-2013 at 12:44 PM..
I don't centre my whole life around it , I don't tell anyone about it , I don't consider revealing these details to anonymous strangers on the net to be a huge revelation
I said it had an effect on me when it comes to forming relationships with women , a business partner doesn't care about what inner vibe you project as long as you honour an agreement but a potential romantic partner can read these things , I don't come across as angry , I do quite likely come across as sad however , not because of what I say , sometimes you can see it in a persons face , regardless of the level of abuse which I suffered at this other persons hands , its redicololous to simply discount abuse based on how long ago it happened , people are not let off for what they did in this world just because it happened twenty years ago , the Israeli authorities chased Nazis to south America when those men were into their eighties and while its chalk and cheese , the principal of elapsed time is the same
Could you please stop dragging world politics into the situation?
I worked for a horrible boss for almost 2 years, who verbally abused me, used to scream right in my face. I consider myself blessed that I found another job, moved on, and didn't allow her to negatively affect my life for the way she behaved toward me 13 years ago.
I really don't understand how 4 months of your life was so horrendous that you have allowed it to impact how you form relationships. It was FOUR months. 1/3 of a year. I'm not discounting how you were treated, but the way you carry it around, using it as an excuse and a crutch for not being healthy enough and feeling like a victim really boggles the mind.
Could you please stop dragging world politics into the situation?
I worked for a horrible boss for almost 2 years, who verbally abused me, used to scream right in my face. I consider myself blessed that I found another job, moved on, and didn't allow her to negatively affect my life for the way she behaved toward me 13 years ago.
I really don't understand how 4 months of your life was so horrendous that you have allowed it to impact how you form relationships. It was FOUR months. 1/3 of a year. I'm not discounting how you were treated, but the way you carry it around, using it as an excuse and a crutch for not being healthy enough and feeling like a victim really boggles the mind.
it happened overseas , I went overseas to try and make a career abroad as I needed a fresh start away from my dad , she verbally savaged me for four months , spread lies about me , sabotaged my chances of promotion , made claims that others in the area I was living were out to physically harm me , told me my parents did a poor job raising me , not sure about other people but slurs against my parents are a step to far , especially when its coming from people who have no class themselves , she was motivated by sectarian hatred btw
would take to list everything , baschically it was a campaign of intense workplace bullying , it created the conditions for my to contact depression , I had a delayed reaction and the depression didn't hit me until I had returned back to my home town , I was devastated that I didn't succeed abroad , when depression enters a persons life , it never leaves completely , this woman is the reason I got depression , if a drunk driver crashed into me fifteen years ago and that result was my loosing a leg , I would associate that drunk driver with my leg from that point on , this woman wounded my psychological wellbeing
I don't know why this is seen as so odd , workplace bullying is a recognised phenomenon and one which women are guilty of just as much as men , add to that its widely accepted that psychological violence can have long term effects , whats bizzare about this thread is the complete focus on the victim not getting over it , the abuser is completely given a pass , says much about their vindictive and cruel nature IMO
it happened overseas , I went overseas to try and make a career abroad as I needed a fresh start away from my dad , she verbally savaged me for four months , spread lies about me , sabotaged my chances of promotion , made claims that others in the area I was living were out to physically harm me , told me my parents did a poor job raising me , not sure about other people but slurs against my parents are a step to far , especially when its coming from people who have no class themselves , she was motivated by sectarian hatred btw
would take to list everything , baschically it was a campaign of intense workplace bullying , it created the conditions for my to contact depression , I had a delayed reaction and the depression didn't hit me until I had returned back to my home town , I was devastated that I didn't succeed abroad , when depression enters a persons life , it never leaves completely , this woman is the reason I got depression , if a drunk driver crashed into me fifteen years ago and that result was my loosing a leg , I would associate that drunk driver with my leg from that point on , this woman wounded my psychological wellbeing
I don't know why this is seen as so odd , workplace bullying is a recognised phenomenon and one which women are guilty of just as much as men , add to that its widely accepted that psychological violence can have long term effects , whats bizzare about this thread is the complete focus on the victim not getting over it , the abuser is completely given a pass , says much about their vindictive and cruel nature IMO
All of that is horrible and I'm sorry you had to deal with it, especially being overseas and away from home and family.
However, no one is giving this woman a pass. The focus is on you because you're still in victim mode years later. Why did you internalize everything she was saying and let it define you, to the point that you're crippled by it 15 years later? That's what the problem is now, not what she did to you, but how you reacted, and the choices you've made for the last 15 years.
Are you going to spend the rest of your life letting this woman affect you? That's a choice YOU are making that is causing hurt to YOURSELF. What she actively did to you 15 years ago, you're still doing to yourself now, and in the future, unless you take steps to change it.
After reading all of this I have come to the conclusion that I have no ability to relate to the OP at all. I just don't think that way, act that way, or feel that way.
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