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I have been with my girlfriend for about 8 months. We both hit it off from the beginning and are highly compatible people. Though there is one issue, a very large one, which is creating a lot of unease in the relationship for me. So much unease that I have been contemplating ending the relationship ever since she stated her opinion to me about it a month ago.
We discussed children, and what would she do in the event of an accidental pregnancy. She stated that if she were to get pregnant that an abortion is off the table and she would definitely keep the child. I am strongly opposed to having a child at this point in time because neither of us is even remotely financially able to properly care for a child, plus I do not want to have kids now, and possibly not ever, which I told her. If we were to have kids we should both be financially and emotionally ready to care for one.
Ever since she told me that if she did get pregnant that she would definitely keep the kid I have been making excuses to avoid sleeping with her. I immediately regretted having sex with her the two times we have done it since she stated her opinion on pregnancy. The small chance of getting her pregnant is more than I am willing to bear at this point in time.
I don't always use condoms, because she is on the pill, but she doesn't do a very good job of taking the pill at the same time everyday. I also have great difficulty climaxing with a condom on, so sex isn't very enjoyable for me if I use condoms.
Anyhow, I have strongly been leaning toward breaking up with her. I don't feel completely at ease having sex with her anymore. While I might be willing to continue the relationship without sex, I just don't know if it is a good idea for either of us. I don't know if it would be fair to her to completely withhold sex from her.
I am wondering what other people think. Should I just end the relationship or discuss this all with her and see if she wants have a sexless relationship? I fear she might say that she wants the relationship to continue, but she will be miserable because I will not have sex with her anymore.
Oh, and I have thought about a vasectomy. I am not 100% sure that I don't want kids a few years in the future, but I know with 100% certainty that I do not want kids now and that they would make my life completely miserable now.
I would suggest to her the option of having a Depo shot or a birth control implant (one that cannot be removed NOT an IUD) and BE THERE when it happens. That way she cannot "ooops" you.
I would suggest to her the option of having a Depo shot or a birth control implant (one that cannot be removed NOT an IUD) and BE THERE when it happens. That way she cannot "ooops" you.
Why are you even with her? 8 months is enough time to know if you love her and want a future with her.. If you don't then say goodbye, if you do then man up and deal with this. I suspect you don't, and are looking for an excuse to break up. Using a "what if" abortion scenario is about as about as pathetic an excuse as I've seen though so unless you want to be the weird guy forever think of something else. "I don't actually love her" for example.
Location: RI, MA, VT, WI, IL, CA, IN (that one sucked), KY
41,938 posts, read 36,935,179 times
Reputation: 40635
Quote:
Originally Posted by srjth
20 mins and you're no closer to orgasm?!
Is that unusual?
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