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When I was a teenager and early in my early 20s I went on a few dates but after I finished college and started working I lost touch with the people I used to know.
I am now in my early 30s. In the past decade, I've had multiple surgeries for various issues and also have GERD (which can make you need to spit when you eat). There have been a few women who have approached me or let others know they may be interested in me but I feel I am no good due to health issues and have declined all such events since I started having health problems.
For the past few years I was content for the days I had when I was not in pain but life is passing me by, I have a good job which I am happy for even though it can be stressful at times. I really enjoy what I do but work policy dictates no personal relationships are allowed so I've always shied away from talking to women about anything else but the work at hand.
As far as getting out there, about 8 years ago I met some people at a bar via online forum, which I never did before and all of us had nothing in common and everyone was smoking (non-smoker here).
Through social media I see the people I knew (yes they are added as friends) in HS getting married, having kids, etc. However, given the health issues, I worry they would get in the way with any relationship. However, as I am getting older I feel like I should do something, otherwise I see my current trajectory as just working until I am dead. Also what others say is true, money does not buy happiness-- you can have the latest gadgets, cars or travel but if you don't have anyone to share it with it can get very lonely. In the past year I keep asking myself what is there to look forward to more and more...
Has anyone here been in this situation before?
If so, what were the circumstances and where are you now?
When I was a teenager and early in my early 20s I went on a few dates but after I finished college and started working I lost touch with the people I used to know.
I am now in my early 30s. In the past decade, I've had multiple surgeries for various issues and also have GERD (which can make you need to spit when you eat). There have been a few women who have approached me or let others know they may be interested in me but I feel I am no good due to health issues and have declined all such events since I started having health problems.
For the past few years I was content for the days I had when I was not in pain but life is passing me by, I have a good job which I am happy for even though it can be stressful at times. I really enjoy what I do but work policy dictates no personal relationships are allowed so I've always shied away from talking to women about anything else but the work at hand.
As far as getting out there, about 8 years ago I met some people at a bar via online forum, which I never did before and all of us had nothing in common and everyone was smoking (non-smoker here).
Through social media I see the people I knew (yes they are added as friends) in HS getting married, having kids, etc. However, given the health issues, I worry they would get in the way with any relationship. However, as I am getting older I feel like I should do something, otherwise I see my current trajectory as just working until I am dead. Also what others say is true, money does not buy happiness-- you can have the latest gadgets, cars or travel but if you don't have anyone to share it with it can get very lonely. In the past year I keep asking myself what is there to look forward to more and more...
Has anyone here been in this situation before?
If so, what were the circumstances and where are you now?
Not being rude nor meaning this offensively whatsoever: Find a woman in like type health issues.
When I was a teenager and early in my early 20s I went on a few dates but after I finished college and started working I lost touch with the people I used to know.
I am now in my early 30s. In the past decade, I've had multiple surgeries for various issues and also have GERD (which can make you need to spit when you eat). There have been a few women who have approached me or let others know they may be interested in me but I feel I am no good due to health issues and have declined all such events since I started having health problems.
For the past few years I was content for the days I had when I was not in pain but life is passing me by, I have a good job which I am happy for even though it can be stressful at times. I really enjoy what I do but work policy dictates no personal relationships are allowed so I've always shied away from talking to women about anything else but the work at hand.
As far as getting out there, about 8 years ago I met some people at a bar via online forum, which I never did before and all of us had nothing in common and everyone was smoking (non-smoker here).
Through social media I see the people I knew (yes they are added as friends) in HS getting married, having kids, etc. However, given the health issues, I worry they would get in the way with any relationship. However, as I am getting older I feel like I should do something, otherwise I see my current trajectory as just working until I am dead. Also what others say is true, money does not buy happiness-- you can have the latest gadgets, cars or travel but if you don't have anyone to share it with it can get very lonely. In the past year I keep asking myself what is there to look forward to more and more...
Has anyone here been in this situation before?
If so, what were the circumstances and where are you now?
You sound like a very strong person, good for you.
I know a girl who has MS and she is very happily married. She also is a mother! Just because you have chronic illness, doesn't mean you are not going to find somebody. Don't lose hope.
Take care of your health first, and don't worry about relationship or the potential problems.
I don't have much advice to give, just want to give you some positive encouragement. My aunt a cancer survivor found new love when she was in her 40s. It is a long journey for her, but she indeed found happiness.
I have many friends with serious health issues who have found meaningful relationships. Join a support group and see if that opens up your social circle a bit more.
I married my soul mate, the most perfect partner for me, and I lost her 7 years later in an accident. I was mid 30's at the time. I was devastated. I found myself asking the same questions you are, but for different reasons. I doubted I would ever find someone that made me feel as special again. It took me a couple years to bounce back but eventually I did meet someone and it felt better to share with some one, then to go it alone. Unfortunately, she left me after 7 years, very recently as a matter of fact. So once again I find myself wondering and asking the same questions. Now I'm 45 and I feel the window to find that someone special, to grow old with, to share with, to love with, is even more narrow.
Life is richer if you can share it with someone. Be patient with yourself, but keep trying. If you are getting close to a place where you have nothing to loose, it should embolden you to take greater chances. The fact that you are as self aware and honest at your age will serve you well.
And don't look to those chicks from your past. If they were meant to be, they would have looked for you.
Good luck
I also deal with a lot of chronic health conditions so have met others who face the same. I know a few people who met their significant other after they had the health condition.
First I will start by saying I think you need to feel comfortable with yourself and the situation you are in before you enter into a relationship. Otherwise it could lead to an unhealthy relationship. I know for myself when I am in a struggling place I tend to attract others. Also since it sounds like your self esteem is down you don't want someone who looks for that and will bring you down further. You want someone to help you feel good about yourself.
I do understand that health problems impact self esteem but why do you feel you are no good? Can you try to push yourself out with the next invite? Even if it does not result in a relationship you may feel better about yourself that you were social. I encourage you to work on your self esteem issues because that in turn can help you gain confidence which can help you find a relationship. You stated you have a good job but what about hobbies? What about friends?
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Just because you have chronic illness, doesn't mean you are not going to find somebody. Don't lose hope.
