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Come on. If a woman says she's a "good girl" or "not like that", you and I both know that means nothing ("good girl" can be anything from a virgin to a party girl and everything in between) and it's part of flirting. How many "good girls" have you _____ raw from behind on a balcony after a few drinks. Give me a break.
He was a wimp that didn't ask questions because he was scared to know the answer, or he made childish assumptions.
He made his bed.
Eh. Honestly to me this is one of those areas where no one should have to "guess" what you "really meant". Why should people walk around assuming what others say means nothing?
She implied she was "waiting" for someone "special" and that someone special was him. They saw each other for 2 months and that is plenty of time to make it clear what is going on. If y'all are not exclusive it needs to be explicitly said at some point. You don't have to give details about exactly what you are doing, but it's not the kind of thing that should be unsaid.
Maybe he should have asked, but she also should have told IMO. They're adults.
I agree that he didn't own her sexually just because they were taking it slow but part of owning your own sexuality is being honest about it.
Quote:
Originally Posted by
rationalmale18;36471455
Ya lol, tinwana or whatever the posters name is caught herself and sided with us after realizing this was a different thread.
Well to be fair the subjects are very similar and the other one was active just last week. LOL. I hadn't seen this one in months!
Eh. Honestly to me this is one of those areas where no one should have to "guess" what you "really meant". Why should people walk around assuming what others say means nothing?
She implied she was "waiting" for someone "special" and that someone special was him. They saw each other for 2 months and that is plenty of time to make it clear what is going on. If y'all are not exclusive it needs to be explicitly said at some point. You don't have to give details about exactly what you are doing, but it's not the kind of thing that should be unsaid.
Maybe he should have asked, but she also should have told IMO. They're adults.
I agree that he didn't own her sexually just because they were taking it slow but part of owning your own sexuality is being honest about it.
I think people are missing the point.
It's pretty effed up to act all virginal and goody goody while you're boning some other dude but not the guy you actually want an LTR with.
I had a woman once say "well I respect you, I didn't respect those guys" as to why she would do various things.
I said "respect my a$$, I want to f*** you the way you like to be f***ed by those jerks you were with."
Location: RI, MA, VT, WI, IL, CA, IN (that one sucked), KY
41,938 posts, read 36,728,963 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Tinawina
Eh. Honestly to me this is one of those areas where no one should have to "guess" what you "really meant". Why should people walk around assuming what others say means nothing?
She implied she was "waiting" for someone "special" and that someone special was him. They saw each other for 2 months and that is plenty of time to make it clear what is going on. If y'all are not exclusive it needs to be explicitly said at some point. You don't have to give details about exactly what you are doing, but it's not the kind of thing that should be unsaid.
Maybe he should have asked, but she also should have told IMO. They're adults.
I agree that he didn't own her sexually just because they were taking it slow but part of owning your own sexuality is being honest about it.
Sure, it needs to be said. It's that simple. If someone doesn't volunteer it, ask. Don't be a wimp that is scared of asking.
I don't agree she should have told out of the blue. If they aren't exclusive, she has no reason to and he has no right to know. It isn't his business. I've dated and/or slept with people for years (one 8 years) and I wasn't privy to their sex / dating lives other than protection used and test results, unless they volunteered it. Same with my lives to them.
Ok , sorry, my bad, that is what confused me, I saw her talking about that.
Still don't see the big deal. I'm sleeping with my FBs/FWBs until there is an exclusive agreement. Most people would. Nothing wrong with it at all.
Jesus dude. I don't see a problem with it either.
My problem is that with her words, she obviously made the OP think she wasn't, without directly saying it. That's the point. Why are you being so dense about it.
Location: RI, MA, VT, WI, IL, CA, IN (that one sucked), KY
41,938 posts, read 36,728,963 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by SuperDave72
I think people are missing the point.
It's pretty effed up to act all virginal and goody goody while you're boning some other dude but not the guy you actually want an LTR with.
I had a woman once say "well I respect you, I didn't respect those guys" as to why she would do various things.
It's pretty standard and fine, IMO. I kept with FBs while slow dating people (for me that is waiting a month or so), it takes the edge off. They're doing the same I'm sure. You can let the sex build up slowly with the person you're interested in and go to town and get it out of your system with the person you're comfortable with.
Location: RI, MA, VT, WI, IL, CA, IN (that one sucked), KY
41,938 posts, read 36,728,963 times
Reputation: 40634
Quote:
Originally Posted by rationalmale18
Jesus dude. I don't see a problem with it either.
My problem is that with her words, she obviously made the OP think she wasn't, without directly saying it. That's the point. Why are you being so dense about it.
People don't make you think anything. You hear things, decide to interpret things are certain way (rose colored glasses) or not.
Best not to do that if the answers are not explicit and ask direct, exact questions if you want exact answers.
It's pretty standard and fine, IMO. I kept with FBs while slow dating people (for me that is waiting a month or so), it takes the edge off. They're doing the same I'm sure. You can let the sex build up slowly with the person you're interested in and go to town and get it out of your system with the person you're comfortable with.
No biggie. Totally common and natural.
Yes, it's fine. Just don't imply to your LTR target that you're not doing it. Pretty simple concept, not manipulating people.
People don't make you think anything. You hear things, decide to interpret things are certain way (rose colored glasses) or not.
Best not to do that if the answers are not explicit and ask direct, exact questions if you want exact answers.
Good communication makes healthier relationships.
Riiiiiight.
No one ever has motives behind what they tell you.
You said I was naive?
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