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Whoa, let's clarify something. The term 'dumping' implies that in the process, the dumpee was treated badly because they somehow deserved it. Like: He cheated on me, so I dumped him.
There are many other kinds of breaking up...fizzling out, ghosting, friendzoning, and yes, the mutual break up. Why would you think it is not possible for both people in a relationship to realize, at roughly the same time, that things weren't working out?
Whoa, let's clarify something. The term 'dumping' implies that in the process, the dumpee was treated badly because they somehow deserved it. Like: He cheated on me, so I dumped him.
There are many other kinds of breaking up...fizzling out, ghosting, friendzoning, and yes, the mutual break up. Why would you think it is not possible for both people in a relationship to realize, at roughly the same time, that things weren't working out?
There are no mutual break ups. What happens in reality is one person decides to leave and the other doesn't fight them on it. This is not a mutual break up.. This is one person having dignity and deciding to let the other leave if they want to leave.
There are no mutual break ups. What happens in reality is one person decides to leave and the other doesn't fight them on it. This is not a mutual break up.. This is one person having dignity and deciding to let the other leave if they want to leave.
There are no mutual break ups.
I think they are rare, but they exist. One of my ex-boyfriends broke up with me because he transferred to a different school and didn't want to do the long distance thing. I agreed to it... in fact, I was already trying to think of how I was going to break it off with him for a different reason. So in that case, I would think it was mutual since we both wanted to break it off. Although he came back to our old campus (where I still was) a couple of months later lamenting it was a mistake . My guess is he couldn't find a girlfriend and wanted a "Fall back girl" or something. I refused--which shocked him because he figured he broke up with me and I would want him back.
Actually, I've noticed that as a theme with these boyfriends of mine. Contacting me months (or years) later wanting to get back together because breaking up was "a mistake." I wonder if they really do think they thought it was a mistake or if I am just a pushover. Thing is, while I put up with a lot and stick with a man though bad as well as good... once they leave, I am done.
Anyway, back to the original question.
I put up with a lot. I stayed married to a man for 13 years after I found out he was cheating on me (found out just months into our marriage). And he cheated on me throughout the marriage with men (said he was bi, turned out to be gay). But because I thought he was bi, I thought if *I* tried harder and was a "better wife", it could work. I never gave up until I came home from work one day to him telling me he was leaving me.
And with that, I can freely say I never dumped anyone. All my ex boyfriends (and my ex husband) dumped me. The exception being two boyfriends. One joined the Army and we just drifted apart (he didn't write or call--so a "fade out" dump. Although he was one that came back two years later all interested again). The other was a high school boyfriend and we broke up when he turned 18 because I was 16--it really wasn't a choice more so than being in his best interest not to be dating a minor. Although, in total, in my whole life, I've only had 5 boyfriends (including my ex-husband who was with me for 13 years). Most of the relationships lasted a year or so. I am starting a relationship now, but I think it's too soon to say I am his girlfriend--if one of us leaves, I would think of it more as fizzling out more so than breaking up.
I have tolerated way too much at times.
It winds up burning me every time. "People change..." No they don't.
After my latest burn, when I see an incompatible situation, I end it quickly.
I believe that may make me single forever, but I haven found a good fit in a while, I'm no spring chicken, and even when I was dating was hard.
I would rather be single and alone than in a relationship and stressed, then single and burned. There are not many worse things IMO than being single and burned. And I have been torched twice, and I don't plan on it happening again.
I have actually tried to end 2 relationships this past 12 months, but the person(s) I dated beat me too it.
Dont be nice people, just be you.
There are no mutual break ups. What happens in reality is one person decides to leave and the other doesn't fight them on it. This is not a mutual break up.. This is one person having dignity and deciding to let the other leave if they want to leave.
There are no mutual break ups.
My ex and I of 5 years broke up on mostly neutral ground, so **** off , you'r not as smart as you think you are.
If you are overcome with using the word "tolerate' then your relationships are in deep trouble from the get go. The word tolerate indicates you have not embraced this person and all the best and worst qualities they have whether you are a man or a woman. Tolerate is a word that is used when you haven't grown up enough to have a true and healthy relationship. If he or she is simply 'tolerated' you are in for a very unhappy relationship.
Please put your gender when you answer plus the number of people you dated and dumped.
MEN: How much are you willing to put up with from a woman before you dumper her? Also.. out of all the women you've dated, how many did you dump?
WOMEN: exact same question.
Please put the reasons you dumped the people you dumped.
This might be hard to believe but I dumped 100% of the women I've ever dated. This was not always because I no longer want to be with them or lost attraction. It was always because either their behavior changed for the worse.. or I could just tell it was over and decided to bail first. There was only one mutual break-up where the girl moved away. She is the only one I'm still on good terms with.
I tolerate much less than I used to, and for a much shorter length of time. Life has taught me that if you suspect something about someone might become problem, not only are you probably right, but the problem will turn out to be much worse than you ever imagined. And people rarely change.
I'd say I've been dumped more often than I've dumped others, but things are often not that clear cut.
Reasons: alcohol, smoking, drugs, nasty, "alpha", arrogant, mean, violent, yells on me, thinks he is a "man" in the house / relationship, tries to change me, treats other people via bad ways etc... and nope, no much of relationships before my marriage, just lot of guys asking me to date with them but I rejected for example previous reasons. I usually am friends with people before dating to know what kind of people they are. After I have seen they are ok then I let them hold my hand
My ex and I of 5 years broke up on mostly neutral ground, so **** off , you'r not as smart as you think you are.
And I've seen a cross eyed dog. Big deal. It's not the norm and it's very rare.
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. My guess is he couldn't find a girlfriend and wanted a "Fall back girl" or something. I refused--which shocked him because he figured he broke up with me and I would want him back.
