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Old 11-27-2013, 08:28 PM
 
Location: Indiana
448 posts, read 590,553 times
Reputation: 248

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Short back story:
I met this girl almost a year ago. I made moves on her and she shot me down because she had a boyfriend. She then flirted with me over the course of 9 months and I figured she changed her mind, so I told her how I felt. She then told me she was with her bf and although she thought I wasn't bad looking and I good guy she wasn't going to leave him. I cut contact with her for a while.

She then put a lot of effort into being around me. She starts pretty much all our text conversations, invites me places, and physically flirts with me a lot. We have also stared to get into debates about things like how I feel about kids or how well we communicate. She also asks me a lot of questions about people I've dated and if I do drugs, smoke, etc. She also gives me lots of pointers on how I can look better.

This last weekend she broke up with her bf and has been constantly texting me ever since. I don't feel like she's dumping her problems on me, she's just talking to me a lot. I've also started to stand up for her more and be a bit more protective of her.

My question here is how do I get this to become a thing? I think its looking like it will if I play it right.
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Old 11-27-2013, 08:30 PM
 
Location: State of Transition
72,360 posts, read 63,815,944 times
Reputation: 68006
She only broke up last weekend, and this weekend is Thanksgiving. She's obviously interested in you. Seems a little condescending, though, that she's telling you how to look better. Did you ask her for suggestions?

See how things go after the holiday weekend.
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Old 11-27-2013, 08:33 PM
 
3,254 posts, read 1,709,997 times
Reputation: 2768
Men you're already it! Like you said, just play it right. Good luck.
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Old 11-27-2013, 08:54 PM
 
Location: Indiana
448 posts, read 590,553 times
Reputation: 248
Quote:
Originally Posted by Ruth4Truth View Post
She only broke up last weekend, and this weekend is Thanksgiving. She's obviously interested in you. Seems a little condescending, though, that she's telling you how to look better. Did you ask her for suggestions?

See how things go after the holiday weekend.
I asked for advice when told her how I felt the second time. I'm always trying to improve myself. She just hasn't stopped giving me advice. I do feel like she is trying to make me look more like her type. I'm not offended by it, she's not demanding, just suggesting that I look better in flannel etc.

And I'm giving her some time, don't worry.
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Old 11-28-2013, 06:17 AM
 
11,355 posts, read 12,616,464 times
Reputation: 12359
Quote:
Originally Posted by InternetTroll View Post
Short back story:
I met this girl almost a year ago. I made moves on her and she shot me down because she had a boyfriend. She then flirted with me over the course of 9 months and I figured she changed her mind, so I told her how I felt. She then told me she was with her bf and although she thought I wasn't bad looking and I good guy she wasn't going to leave him. I cut contact with her for a while.

She then put a lot of effort into being around me. She starts pretty much all our text conversations, invites me places, and physically flirts with me a lot. We have also stared to get into debates about things like how I feel about kids or how well we communicate. She also asks me a lot of questions about people I've dated and if I do drugs, smoke, etc. She also gives me lots of pointers on how I can look better.

This last weekend she broke up with her bf and has been constantly texting me ever since. I don't feel like she's dumping her problems on me, she's just talking to me a lot. I've also started to stand up for her more and be a bit more protective of her.

My question here is how do I get this to become a thing? I think its looking like it will if I play it right.
I'll put it like this...

She had a boyfriend. She interviews you but wants you to look better.

She flirts, texts and everything WHILE she has a boyfriend.

Do you see the pattern?

You may be her boyfriend till she finds better.

I bet she thinks since you are so into her that out of her boyfriend and you.... YOU will get her the more expensive holiday gifts.
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Old 11-28-2013, 06:57 AM
 
Location: In Sticky San Antonio TX
1,389 posts, read 2,443,058 times
Reputation: 1667
Strangely, I'm with funymann again (another thread). Play isn't interpersonal vernacular, save to make it a game and get to the goal line, to score. She puts up barriers then works through the lattice work, even though she is in a relationship and she said she is with someone. Did anyone else hear duplicity? Did anyone else here, 'I can't stand on my own and need a person in my life until I have another?' I don't think she has an eye to pick good fellows or make a stand for decency (why stay with a sinking ship) and you just happened to be waiting. She'll come on board b/c you want her, not because you are necessarily good for her.

Take a good long look at this one. Find another place to dock.
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Old 11-28-2013, 07:23 AM
 
255 posts, read 298,927 times
Reputation: 189
Quote:
Originally Posted by InternetTroll View Post
Short back story:
I met this girl almost a year ago. I made moves on her and she shot me down because she had a boyfriend. She then flirted with me over the course of 9 months and I figured she changed her mind, so I told her how I felt. She then told me she was with her bf and although she thought I wasn't bad looking and I good guy she wasn't going to leave him. I cut contact with her for a while.

She then put a lot of effort into being around me. She starts pretty much all our text conversations, invites me places, and physically flirts with me a lot. We have also stared to get into debates about things like how I feel about kids or how well we communicate. She also asks me a lot of questions about people I've dated and if I do drugs, smoke, etc. She also gives me lots of pointers on how I can look better.

This last weekend she broke up with her bf and has been constantly texting me ever since. I don't feel like she's dumping her problems on me, she's just talking to me a lot. I've also started to stand up for her more and be a bit more protective of her.

My question here is how do I get this to become a thing? I think its looking like it will if I play it right.
Don't wait for it, go for it. Women have a long queue-line of guys interested in them, if you don't bang her, someone else will, quickly.
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Old 11-28-2013, 07:57 AM
 
Location: Indiana
448 posts, read 590,553 times
Reputation: 248
Quote:
Originally Posted by funymann View Post
I'll put it like this...

She had a boyfriend. She interviews you but wants you to look better.

She flirts, texts and everything WHILE she has a boyfriend.

Do you see the pattern?

You may be her boyfriend till she finds better.

I bet she thinks since you are so into her that out of her boyfriend and you.... YOU will get her the more expensive holiday gifts.
Just want to point out the ex is a lowlife pothead that has never really had a job and goes to comunity college for some bs major. She knew him before he ruined his life that bad and then stuck around. They weren't official when I was talking to her but they also were not seeing other people, or at least she wasn't.

With that I'm not looking for someone to date for years here. So I'd like to give her a shot.

I feel like that whole situation is special and doesn't really make me think she's a hoe. If she turns out to be one when in a relationship with me I can dump her anyway.
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Old 11-28-2013, 08:00 AM
 
Location: Indiana
448 posts, read 590,553 times
Reputation: 248
Quote:
Originally Posted by 10th Man Down View Post
Don't wait for it, go for it. Women have a long queue-line of guys interested in them, if you don't bang her, someone else will, quickly.
Only thing holding me back is I don't want her to feel like I pounced on her as soon as I found out she was single. That's going to turn her off, I know her well enough to say that. So what I'm thinking is I just shoot her occasional compliments until I'm sure she's flirting again and go for it.
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Old 11-28-2013, 09:10 AM
 
236 posts, read 191,430 times
Reputation: 273
Quote:
Originally Posted by funymann View Post
I'll put it like this...

She had a boyfriend. She interviews you but wants you to look better.

She flirts, texts and everything WHILE she has a boyfriend.

Do you see the pattern?

You may be her boyfriend till she finds better.

I bet she thinks since you are so into her that out of her boyfriend and you.... YOU will get her the more expensive holiday gifts.
I agree with this. She's been using you as an emotional tampon and for periodic ego boosts. She sounds like a high-maintenance drama queen who is keeping you as Option B and will most likely "better deal" you at her first possible opportunity. This has heartbreak written all over it, OP. The only way to know for sure is to make her chase you, and see if she will oblige. Start becoming unavailable a lot more often and too busy to hang out with her. Even better, some time when she asks to hang out or tries to start a text conversation, tell her you can't because you have/are on a date, even if it's a lie. Her reactions to these situations will give you your answer. The tough part is, if you are successful with this tactic, you are going to have to keep her at arms length for quite a while before you let your guard down. And also think about this: a lot of the time she was with her ex-bf, she was flirting with you. Do you want to enter a relationship with a girl like that? I sure dont. Based on what you've said of her behavior, I would not consider her LTR material, for me anyway. She sounds like the kind of girl that, the only way to keep her around will be to never give her what she claims to want: commitment. Based on your posting history, I'm not sure you're equipped to handle this more Alpha posture, and will most likely blow it with a total Beta meltdown.
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