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The problem: it's only a month, and you're already in love.
That kind of stuff takes time, and it seems like you're rushing into it. Don't. Regardless of her previous relationships, she is with you, and it's going to be different. Just because she's had sex before does that automatically mean you're getting sex? Nope. Just means she's had sex.
Again, take is slow, dude. You're going to scare her away if you keep on asking her to be more affectionate. You've already mentioned that she gushes about you.
Also, being in a relationship is different for everyone and people have their own way of expressing their emotions. Please do not force people to "love" the way that you do. It's a different experience for everyone.
In my experience, the onus is on the male to create an environment conducive to romance, and, after the stage has been set, to make the first move. if you don't do those things in that order, you'll be waiting a long time for anything to happen.
When I first started dating I was really shy, and even after officially starting to date it would take me forever to get physical because I was worried I would make a wrong step or something and ruin things. What opened my eyes to that was an ex telling me she thought I was playing games with her for two months when we first started dating. She said, I'd be snuggling with her and doing all the right things up to the point when it came to making out I never went for it, and up until she got tired of waiting and actually initiated with me, snuggling was as far as it got. She was actually considering breaking up with me because she thought I wasn't into her or stringing her along.
So set things up, go for it at an appropriate time, see what her reaction is. If she reacts negatively, ask her whats going on, and let her know that you want a girlfriend, and not a sister. You've been together for a month now, if she can't even make out with you, then something is wrong, and you need to know what it is, and make an informed decision about where you want to go from there.
We haven't really made out or anything like that and it's been a month! We hold hands and are always really close, and we do kiss every time we are together but mostly just pecks on the lips!
Red flag!!!! Unless the two of you are Mormon or 13 years old then I'd get rid of her and find someone else.
Sorry, it sounds like she is just not physically attracted to you. Push the issue now and see.
Not always. I had the same issue with my wife. We were friends for years and didn't start dating until both of us were out of our previous relationships. It started really slow though, as I didn't want to push things and she later told me that she could get past that I was someone she previously though of only as a friend. As a guy this concept is completely foreign to me, but I guess it really is a distinction or barrier that some women form in their mind. On the plus side once that wall was torn down our relationship took off. It just took time.
Last edited by Velvet Jones; 11-30-2013 at 04:27 PM..
Your dating. What are you doing? Romantic things? Are you setting the mood, tone, or expectation for this dating? Or are you going to places (movie, shooting pool, etc) and just waiting for her to throw herself at you?
Sounds like your acting like a fly on the wall, waiting for her to become aggressive and make some moves. Maybe you need to be more aggressive and make some moves. Or talk to her and express how you feel, and what some of your expectations are. Make some romantic date plans. Give her a passionate kiss. See if she wants you to, reciprocates, etc.
Oh and please people, stop with the friendzone BS. My best friend is also my best lover (and is now my wife).
We see each other every day and I just keep wondering when she is going to show me more attraction and everything. I'm not sure how much more patient I can be! I start to wonder why she's not wanting to do that with me? I've told her that I want her to open up to me more and show me more love and affection Should I just be patient and give it time or do I have every right at this point to make this a big deal?
Don't make it "a big deal"....make a move....she could be wondering the same thing about you, like maybe you don't find her attractive enough...why don't you turn the tables and show HER more love and affection. How can she know what that means if you're not explicit AND you don't make a move on her...sometimes it's best to just speak your mind..simply.
She could be one of those girls waiting for you to help yourself instead o her having to "give" it to you.
She cuddles with me and gets close, but yet won't give me anything other than a peck hardly! It kills me!
I could see her thinking the same thing.
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