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I'm interested in this nice diverse group's thoughts on the question.
I've recently had some friendly discussions about a 24 shelf bookcase I have in my living room, two shelves are dedicated to sex, physical/emotional intimacy, and relationships.
Everything from the "mechanics" of great sex, to the pick up, to tantra, kama sutra, to illustrated picture books, cunninglus instruction manuals, formal academic analyses of sex and relationships, casual relationships, serious relationships, hook ups, case studies of human sexuality as exemplified through politicians and revolutionaries, etc. My e-library has hundreds of peer-reviewed studies in the sciences and the humanities pertaining to the same topics.
The gist of the conversation was that the books about tactics to pick-up women and how to increase the statistical likelihood of physical intimacy (whether it be a kiss or sex) soon after getting a phone number made them uncomfortable, but everything else was okay, even great by some accounts.
I explained the logical pitfalls of the mirror imaging fallacy, which occurs when someone projects why "they" would read pickup books or books about relationships onto the person/people who read the books. I wish to attain my peak human potential, and having my environment be a product of me rather than passing off the responsibility and becoming a product of the environment is one component, sex and relationships is a sub-component of that component
People like the illusion of "romance." They want to believe it just happened randomly. You just happened to be right next to her in the coffee shop. You just happened to find her attractive and strike a conversation. You just happened to have the perfect date. You just happened to make the right moves to have sex. Keep up the illusion because people don't like finding out how magicians do their tricks, they just want to see it.
I think there's a difference between books devoted to enhancing your mutual sexual pleasure or building a solid relationship, and books about just getting laid.
If I saw a PUA book the shelf of a guy I was with, my alarm bells would go off. It's two totally different classifications of books.
I don't think the "mirror imaging fallacy" works here. Those are all "how to" books - it is reasonable to assume that someone who has a how-to book is looking to do whatever the book is about.
Are you saying you have those books just because of curiosity?
I'm interested in this nice diverse group's thoughts on the question.
I've recently had some friendly discussions about a 24 shelf bookcase I have in my living room, two shelves are dedicated to sex, physical/emotional intimacy, and relationships.
Everything from the "mechanics" of great sex, to the pick up, to tantra, kama sutra, to illustrated picture books, cunninglus instruction manuals, formal academic analyses of sex and relationships, casual relationships, serious relationships, hook ups, case studies of human sexuality as exemplified through politicians and revolutionaries, etc. My e-library has hundreds of peer-reviewed studies in the sciences and the humanities pertaining to the same topics.
The gist of the conversation was that the books about tactics to pick-up women and how to increase the statistical likelihood of physical intimacy (whether it be a kiss or sex) soon after getting a phone number made them uncomfortable, but everything else was okay, even great by some accounts.
I explained the logical pitfalls of the mirror imaging fallacy, which occurs when someone projects why "they" would read pickup books or books about relationships onto the person/people who read the books. I wish to attain my peak human potential, and having my environment be a product of me rather than passing off the responsibility and becoming a product of the environment is one component, sex and relationships is a sub-component of that component
Ah....what?
I hope this bookshelf turns into a wall when you finally get a female visitor.
Because as we all know, women come off an assembly line somewhere in south west Detroit. They're all the same, aside from avaliable paint and trim packages.
I would think that the offensiveness would begin when those books encouraged the reader to engage in manipulative tactics in order to achieve one's goal.
I hope this bookshelf turns into a wall when you finally get a female visitor.
I picture it like some sort of 1920's speakeasy, where the bar tender hits a switch and all the booze shelves flip and become framed pictures and bookshelves filled with temperance movement literature.. lol
The way I see, there is nothing stopping me from reaching my goals except myself. Until I do absolutely everything in my power to improve upon myself and reduce uncertainty in the external envrionment, I am the only one in my way. I don't like passing off the blame for my failures (and successes) onto others. There is always something I could have done differently to affect the outcome. Like spend 3 less hours hanging out and 3 more hours working on tangibly improving myself, etc.
Writing off romance as something that "just happens" is unscientific and foreign to me. But I'm beginning to see the the merits of being more discrete in these topics IRL.
As a tangent example, I also have Hitler's Mein Kampf and Marx's Communist Manifesto, but it is because I want to understand the minds of my opponents and the minds of those who follow those writings, not because I wish to continue Hitler's work or start a communist revolution.
Quote:
I hope this bookshelf turns into a wall when you finally get a female visitor.
The bookshelf is two-sided so I can choose which side to display
The way I see, there is nothing stopping me from reaching my goals except myself. Until I do absolutely everything in my power to improve upon myself and reduce uncertainty in the external envrionment, I am the only one in my way. I don't like passing off the blame for my failures (and successes) onto others. There is always something I could have done differently to affect the outcome. Like spend 3 less hours hanging out and 3 more hours working on tangibly improving myself, etc.
Writing off romance as something that "just happens" is unscientific and foreign to me. But I'm beginning to see the the merits of being more discrete in these topics IRL.
As a tangent example, I also have Hitler's Mein Kampf and Marx's Communist Manifesto, but it is because I want to understand the minds of my opponents and the minds of those who follow those writings, not because I wish to continue Hitler's work or start a communist revolution.
The bookshelf is two-sided so I can choose which side to display
I was reading the first paragraph thinking:
Don't treat your sexlife as a FREAKING SCIENCE EXPERIMENT!!!!!!!
I don't think the "mirror imaging fallacy" works here. Those are all "how to" books - it is reasonable to assume that someone who has a how-to book is looking to do whatever the book is about.
Are you saying you have those books just because of curiosity?
I was thinking more along the lines of someone thinking that the reason I have so many books is because I sucked so bad at these topics that I had to get books to learn what to do, as opposed to wanting to establish a theoretical and applied basis for life-long self improvement and control over my "sphere" of the environment; making my own choices instead of allowing someone else to make these choices for me.
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