Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
Move to the West Coast, or the Northeast. Bonanza!
Stay away from LA though. Worst dating scene EVER. Lots and lots of singles, but mostly self absorbed and if you live more than 5 mls away, they lose interest. That's not just my opinion, I know several pretty and smart women who agree to that.
I found my bf through OLD and I clicked the box with no children. I usually bring up the topic during the first date in a casual way.
Stay away from LA though. Worst dating scene EVER. Lots and lots of singles, but mostly self absorbed and if you live more than 5 mls away, they lose interest. That's not just my opinion, I know several pretty and smart women who agree to that.
That was my exact experience when I lived there. The nice thing was no one cared about age out there, which was a freeing concept for me.
My husband and I met via OLD and we are child-free. It's not like a way of life for us or anything, though, and we met at age 41 so it didn't need to be a huge topic of conversation since I considered myself too old to have kids, anyway. Kinda like "do you want kids?" "Nope." "Me neither."
We're approaching two years' duration for this thread, and it's interesting to ponder how our various experiences have evolved.
It's a multifarious issue, begging for profuse elaboration; but I'll be brief. There appears to be strong correlation amongst all of the following:
* having extensive formal education
* having interest in the arts, literature and intellectual pursuits of various flavors
* residing and working in a "hip", urbane and pluralistic location
* secular/agnostic world-view
* being child-free-by-choice
The upshot is that if one finds oneself in a milieu where several of the above attributes are commonly found, then finding a child-free potential romantic partner becomes straightforward. But if one's locale and community are not receptive to such attributes, then few people will be child-free.
And now for a contentious and potentially insensitive remark. In the economically disadvantaged and socially conservative areas, those people who are nevertheless child-free tend to be, shall we say, of marginal personal appeal. Successful professionals in such areas overwhelmingly have children. Persons without children tend to suffer from severe mental or physical health issues, from substance abuse, a dissolute and listless life, or other factors not conducive to romantic appeal.
In other words, in Boston and San Francisco not only is there a plethora of child-free people, but those people are interesting, accomplished and appealing. In Peoria and Little Rock, not only are there proportionately fewer child-free people, but those who are available tend to be, well, unappealing.
I'm in several CF groups on facebook and have noticed the above is true for most members.... I guess I'm one of the odd-ball types who lives in the semi-rural south and doesn't care much for arts & literature. But I am college educated, agnostic, and knowledgeable about the world. I wouldn't mind a woman with minor physical or mental health issues, as long as she was a good lover, faithful partner and never had kids.....
It's a difficult tradeoff. I'm a narrow specialist who's carved out a niche, a commodious and rewarding career. It would be foolish to forego it, or even to entertain any drastic changes. But socially - whether for dating, for good conversation, for after-dinner drinks, for rewarding friendships - it's moribund and bland.
Software is ubiquitous, and can be pursued anywhere - Boston or Bangalore. But if you are, say, a giraffe-herder, that's much easier to accommodate in the environs of Cambridge, Ohio, than Cambridge, Massachusetts. As a young man, maybe I should have reconsidered my dream of going into professional giraffe-herding. As a middle-aged man, the only viable option seems to be to save my nickles and to take early-retirement, whereupon I could relocate and parlay my giraffe-skills into feeding the pigeons in Harvard Square.
You know, I think you work in something related to aviation - if you have the dough to swing it, and it would take some time and dough - get your private pilot's license. This could open up your "operating radius" quite a bit, and showing up flying your own plane (even if it's rented) would probably be a good entrance to make. Although, it would of course draw in gals that Yoda would say "Asset acquisition is strong in this one" about. But you are smart enough to weed those out.
At worst it would be a cool hobby and take your mind off lack of suitable date material.
I'm in agreement that it's pretty hard to find decent childfree men through online dating. I'm anticipating a move to the Tampa Bay Area in Florida within the next year, and have been checking out POF and OKC for a while. There aren't many guys that mark "Does Not Want Children" on their profile, and the ones that do just really aren't that interesting and aren't all that attractive. You might find a few here and there, but they're usually ones that live that urban chic young professional lifestyle, which isn't for me.
I'm in agreement that it's pretty hard to find decent childfree men through online dating. I'm anticipating a move to the Tampa Bay Area in Florida within the next year, and have been checking out POF and OKC for a while. There aren't many guys that mark "Does Not Want Children" on their profile, and the ones that do just really aren't that interesting and aren't all that attractive. You might find a few here and there, but they're usually ones that live that urban chic young professional lifestyle, which isn't for me.
Ironies abound. I'm only 60 miles away from Columbus. I marked "does not want children" in my profile, and am decidedly not urban/chic, though by vocation I'm technically a professional. As for the bit about being interesting or attractive, well, some qualifications are easier to attain than others.
I was on that site! That was where I learned that there was a term for not wanting kids, that there were people like me
Usenet newsgroups went out of style 10 or 15 years ago.... I use to use them to sell electronic stuff on (before eBay and craigslist). Wish I had known about the term "childfree" when I first tried online dating in 2010. Might could have found someone by now. I only found out last year about CF groups and sites when I commented about not wanting anyone with kids on some group I was in.....
I was on that site! That was where I learned that there was a term for not wanting kids, that there were people like me
Same here. Lurked mostly, but remember that from mid-90s to early 2000s, that was an awesome place.
Some members can be found on other groups. They vary from milquetoast to brazen. ASCF was the best, IMO, probably because of its unique status of being one of the first online CF communities.
I rilly-rilly miss Gutterboy Hope he's doing well.
Please register to post and access all features of our very popular forum. It is free and quick. Over $68,000 in prizes has already been given out to active posters on our forum. Additional giveaways are planned.
Detailed information about all U.S. cities, counties, and zip codes on our site: City-data.com.
Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
Hope he's doing well.
