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Old 12-02-2013, 01:04 PM
 
157 posts, read 236,286 times
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Say the guy is interested in you, he's flirting, but he has not ask the question or have that talk with you. He's waiting to see if you feel the same way. How did you let him know?

Me: We were standing around talking. He said something flirty. I asked "Do you by any chance have romantic feeling for me?" He froze, looked at me for awhile before he admitted it. Then I went on to tell him that I felt the same way.
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Old 12-02-2013, 01:09 PM
 
Location: The point of no return, er, NorCal
7,392 posts, read 5,581,220 times
Reputation: 9601
I simply told him. Given the mutual chemistry it was assumed or just known on both ends.
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Old 12-02-2013, 01:22 PM
 
2,761 posts, read 4,596,604 times
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The closest thing I've ever had to having an "Are you interested in me ?" talk was when I was hangin out with a woman in college with her friends, and one friend of hers said, "Go for him, he is kind of cute".

Usually flirting and chemistry occurs, and as a guy I ask for a phone number and then a date and things just progress romantically, or they don't.

The "do you like me?" thing I guess happened in high school, but not with me.

IME, when a woman chases a guy, she doesnt ask permission, she just goes for it. From what I've seen anyway.
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Old 12-02-2013, 01:27 PM
 
Location: Pa
42,759 posts, read 48,995,310 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by AverageGuy2006 View Post
The closest thing I've ever had to having an "Are you interested in me ?" talk was when I was hangin out with a woman in college with her friends, and one friend of hers said, "Go for him, he is kind of cute".

Usually flirting and chemistry occurs, and as a guy I ask for a phone number and then a date and things just progress romantically, or they don't.

The "do you like me?" thing I guess happened in high school, but not with me.

IME, when a woman chases a guy, she doesnt ask permission, she just goes for it. From what I've seen anyway.
Lol.
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Old 12-02-2013, 01:31 PM
 
5,121 posts, read 6,234,464 times
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I've never met a man though a cold approach... with me, it's always been men I get to know over a period of time. I am also not a talky person to do flirting though words. I like to "do", not talk. Usually things just build up over time. A goodbye hug here. Then a peck on the cheek or on the neck.

Usually the man does that and tests the water. But if he hasn't made a move and if I am interested in him, I initiate that stuff and gauge his reaction. A long hug, a kiss on the cheek or neck, etc. The only problem with that is it can tend to turn on just about any man--even if he's only a little interested. So it's hard to say how much he's into me or how much he's just in to making out. It leaves a lingering doubt.
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Old 12-02-2013, 01:52 PM
 
157 posts, read 236,286 times
Reputation: 86
Quote:
Originally Posted by jillabean View Post
I've never met a man though a cold approach... with me, it's always been men I get to know over a period of time. I am also not a talky person to do flirting though words. I like to "do", not talk. Usually things just build up over time. A goodbye hug here. Then a peck on the cheek or on the neck.

Usually the man does that and tests the water. But if he hasn't made a move and if I am interested in him, I initiate that stuff and gauge his reaction. A long hug, a kiss on the cheek or neck, etc. The only problem with that is it can tend to turn on just about any man--even if he's only a little interested. So it's hard to say how much he's into me or how much he's just in to making out. It leaves a lingering doubt.
Me too, with this guy, I have known him for 2 years. We were acquaintance but had gotten to know each other a little bit for about several months. So before I asked him straight out, there was a lot of hugging, a hello hug, a goodbye hug.

Are you saying that if you are interested, then you would initiate this hug/kiss? Any story to tell ?

Quote:
Originally Posted by AverageGuy2006 View Post
The closest thing I've ever had to having an "Are you interested in me ?" talk was when I was hangin out with a woman in college with her friends, and one friend of hers said, "Go for him, he is kind of cute".

Usually flirting and chemistry occurs, and as a guy I ask for a phone number and then a date and things just progress romantically, or they don't.

The "do you like me?" thing I guess happened in high school, but not with me.

IME, when a woman chases a guy, she doesnt ask permission, she just goes for it. From what I've seen anyway.
So you have not experience the subtleties in relationship yet? Meaning you have not experienced having feeling for someone over a period of time before asking them out?

Quote:
Originally Posted by Metaphysique View Post
I simply told him. Given the mutual chemistry it was assumed or just known on both ends.
What did you say to him?
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Old 12-02-2013, 03:56 PM
 
5,121 posts, read 6,234,464 times
Reputation: 5812
Quote:
Originally Posted by Mimi85 View Post
Me too, with this guy, I have known him for 2 years. We were acquaintance but had gotten to know each other a little bit for about several months. So before I asked him straight out, there was a lot of hugging, a hello hug, a goodbye hug.

Are you saying that if you are interested, then you would initiate this hug/kiss? Any story to tell ?

Yes, if I like him enough, I try. It's rare for me to do so--mainly because of the doubt it leaves me with and doubt can kill what attraction I have for the man. I start to think I wasn't good enough for him to try first... stuff like that.

The last time I tried something like that, things got pretty passionate, pretty quickly. It took me by surprise and it felt like he was very much into me (and I was into him just as much). For me, it was pent up attraction.. I am not sure about him, but it was like flipping a switch. The downside of me taking the initiative in any situation like that is that I don't know if the man I am trying it on is really interested in me or just being physical and the doubt sinks in. Only time can tell.

Maybe it's a bit sexist of me, but I tend to think that if a woman likes/has feelings for a man, she will want to be physical with him in most cases. If she doesn't have feelings for him, she won't. I fall cleanly into that stereotype. This is my opinion, but I really do feel that most men don't necessarily need to have feelings for a woman to want to get more inmate with her (and again, this rings true with my experience). It's not good or bad, I just is what it is. So that's where my doubt comes from.

But generally, despite doubt, if I like the man enough, I don't regret (even if I failed and he was just taking advantage of the moment) because at least I tried. I would regret more if I didn't and was left with a bunch of "what ifs."

Last edited by jillabean; 12-02-2013 at 04:11 PM..
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Old 12-02-2013, 05:22 PM
 
Location: Where I'm At
582 posts, read 1,037,882 times
Reputation: 1387
I offered to take him to lunch.

I had to drive out of town for a conference and I was loading some non-heavy file boxes into my vehicle and he came over and insisted on helping me. After I returned from the conference I went to his office and told him that I wanted to take him to lunch as a "Thank You" for helping me load all those non-heavy file boxes. He accepted my lunch offer.

Our lunch conversation was light and slightly flirtatious. When he dropped me off at my office, he asked me out to dinner as a "Thank You" for lunch. Things progressed from there. We ended up dating for about a year before I transferred to another duty station.
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Old 12-02-2013, 06:06 PM
 
Location: Pa
42,759 posts, read 48,995,310 times
Reputation: 25302
I talked to him.
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Old 12-02-2013, 06:06 PM
 
Location: Way up high
19,059 posts, read 24,643,350 times
Reputation: 24101
I just say it. Why mess around??
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