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What happens is now we're living in a society that keeps telling us to feel bad for every single thing you did to others as a child or teen. In a way, that's part of growing up.
Yes, regretting mean things you did to people in the past is part of growing up.
(And yes, I know that is not what you meant. I am trying to help you,)
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Originally Posted by TabulaRasa
That said, anybody who's held a grudge about it for ten years and then takes action against someone for it, rather than just write the perpetrators off as a$$holes and call it good needs their head examined.
We only have the OP's word for that, and even she did not phrase it so strongly.
I don't think the OP seems like a reliable narrator. It seems more likely that the OP bumped into the girl from the past sometime, was all fake-friendly, and girl called her on it.
So it would be better if I were to fake an apology even if I don't truly feel it? Wouldn't be that just as bad as not being apologetic?
No, it would be better to take the third option -- do some introspection until the apology is genuine.
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Originally Posted by AnitaJJ
it didn't occur to me that certain people get hurt too easily over something many won't.
It doesn't matter if she is oversensitive, just like it doesn't matter that the hurt was unintentional.
If you are on a crowded subway car, and you accidentally step on someone's foot and they say, 'Ow!' do you refuse to apologise because it was an accident? What if their foot was in a cast, because they broke it last week, and your stepping hurt them more than it would another person? Do you refuse to apologise because their sensitivity is raised?
I was never pranked in school, and I swear if someone had the cojones to prank me the way you pranked this person I guarantee you that you'd have apologized to me shortly after the first and there would not have been a 2nd.
That was not a prank at all. That was a mean-spirited act that you did 2 times in a row.
Your BF I think has a right to 2nd guess you because this 1 act shows your character, and you refuse to at least think about what you did to her was actually terrible.
I'm not saying that he should end the relationship because of this, but I think he isn't a big fan of your character right now.
France originally. Later on, I traveled to Brasil but for a short time. My family comes from different backgrounds.
She has a hatred towards me so I wouldn't really call her a friend. I haven't given her any personal information. She told him everything about our HS days and in her mind thinks my friends and I have always been unfair to her.
Unless you were a hooker in high school or murdered someone and buried their body in an unknown grave I don't see why it would matter to your boyfriend what you did in high school.
Honestly if this information from 10 years ago has affected your relationship that much you are wasting your time with this guy.
CSD, it's not about high school. It's about her inability now to acknowledge that what she did in high school was something other than perfect and adult.
Most people can easily say that, even though they didn't pull mean pranks. Most people find it easy to say, 'Yeah, I was young and stupid once upon a time'.
CSD, it's not about high school. It's about her inability now to acknowledge that what she did in high school was something other than perfect and adult.
Most people can easily say that, even though they didn't pull mean pranks. Most people find it easy to say, 'Yeah, I was young and stupid once upon a time'.
Cripes, I don't even talk to people I went to high school with and haven't seen them since before graduation day since I did not go to graduation day and I graduated high school in 1978.
Ten years later is ten years later. When the original poster was in high school she was NOT perfect nor an adult.
So her inability to apologize for NOT being perfect nor an adult should have no baring on the fact that the other girl has the inability to get over some stupid kid prank that happened ten years ago.
The fact that the other girl has allowed these things to affect her this long is HER CHOICE, she should have gotten over it before she graduated from high school.
@CSD: Well it's fine if you wouldn't be bothered by it. I am not saying you should be .
I am, however, trying to explain why it might be bothering her boyfriend.
Her boyfriend has nothing to do with something that happened 10 years ago and should not be bothered by any of it.
They did not know each other then, she was in high school, it did not involve him then and does not involve him now.
I don't see where any issue is at all except for the other girl holding a grudge for some stupid high school incidents.
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