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Sex should never be a the main indicator to determine if a man is really interested in you. We can hate your guts but still be willing to sleep with you if we are in the mood. We function differently from you women.
Your main indicator should be the guy's willingness to include you in his plans. If he isn't calling you daily and if he isn't making his plans with you in mind....THEN HE DOES NOT SEE A FUTURE WITH YOU.
So..to answer the above question....there is no limit to how long a woman should wait. If the guy doesn't see a future with you it won't matter whether you give it up on 1st date or 50th.
I can accept he only wanted sex. That's not really bothering me that much aside from being a little surprised that guys in their 30's pull this sh*t. My bigger question is do other agree with my friend's advise? And for guys, have you ever been "impressed" that a girl made you wait, or wrote off a girl who put out too early?
Short answer, no. If a guy is into you in the right way he won't care if it's the 1st date or the 4th or possibly even the 14th.
If he's not into you in the right way he still might hang around and try to get laid. It is what it is and there are no guarantees here. That's why I laugh when I see women attempting to play political football with sex - it's just not a very reliable indicator of how he really feels about you in the first place, but it's the one thing everybody obsesses about.
Excellent post. Some of that misogyny is rooted in the misbelief that good girls don't like sex; they just want relationships, and any woman who engages in a sexual relationship outside of marriage is to be vilified.
There is a total misunderstanding and dismissal of the complexities surrounding female sexuality.
The flip side of this is the guys who get involved with the "good girls" who don't want sex, and then come back and complain that she didn't magically turn into a sex kitten. She doesn't initiate sex; she doesn't want it that often, etc. Hey, you wanted a woman who's not a skank, you got one.
Short answer, no. If a guy is into you in the right way he won't care if it's the 1st date or the 4th or possibly even the 14th.
If he's not into you in the right way he still might hang around and try to get laid. It is what it is and there are no guarantees here. That's why I laugh when I see women attempting to play political football with sex - it's just not a very reliable indicator of how he really feels about you in the first place, but it's the one thing everybody obsesses about.
Exactly. I've slept with women I really don't like as people. Guys are just wired that way. Sex and love are two separate entities for us. If I really like a girl and she gives it up early, it's about context. My girlfriend and I slept together the first time we hung out one on one.
Excellent post. Some of that misogyny is rooted in the misbelief that good girls don't like sex; they just want relationships, and any woman who engages in a sexual relationship outside of marriage is to be vilified.
There is a total misunderstanding and dismissal of the complexities surrounding female sexuality.
Nah, a healthy appetite for sex is a good thing. No vilification for premarital sex. But you can't blame guys, or girls, that don't want to date the town bicycles.
So recently I went on a few dates (3) with a guy I met online. We had been having a great time, and texting throughout the day every day. This was over a period of 3 weeks. After the 4th date we went back to my place and had a great time, and even had a date the very next night.
He was leaving the next day for a vacation so I didn't try and text him because I didn't want to annoy him. I wished him a happy thanksgiving to which he replied "you too!" Then nothing. I assumed he was busy on his trip. A few days after he returned I asked him how the trip was and nothing. A week later I said hi and nothing. I have pretty much written him off, although I feel pretty crumby about the way he chose to end things with me.
I was talking to one of my guy friends and he didn't seem suprised that he never texted back. His reasoning was "when you sleep with a guy too soon it shows you have no self esteem, a lack of confidence, and a lack of maturity. There is no more reason to get to know you". I found this a little hurtful. I am 27 and the guy is 33, and I was hoping by this age someone could take 10 minutes out of their day to say "I don't want to see you anymore" at least over a text.
What do you think? Was I "not worth getting to know"?
You're not immature. The man you slept with is.
Although I would advise holding off, the bottom line is that men who aren't interested in relationships to begin with use sex as an excuse to avoid emotional intimacy. You could have waited 6 months, if that's all he wanted the same thing would have happened.
I'm not getting into this whole "sex is the only thing you can't judge a potential partner for." It's silly. You can judge a partner on political beliefs, religious beliefs, prior or current drug use, their sense of humor, their looks, their race. But if they sleep with everyone, and that's a big part of their character, you can't judge.
If you don't want to date someone who sleeps with many people, that's a choice you are allowed to make and you should not be shamed for it.
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