Quote:
Originally Posted by burgler09
What a stupid article.
Flattery? Raelly?
Good sex?
Convinced that you guys have great chemsitry?
Want to know what this article is? A great way for pissed off women to read this and be happy they can call their ex's psychopaths. It completely spells out most relationships that go sour. Starts out well, think you have a bunch in common, problems start blah blah blah.
Now you can read the article and by happy you dated a psychopath.. oh brother..
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Consider the source - The Stir. Hence to Stir the Pot or stir up emotion.
I think a lot of what she said, can be said about a lot of people and their tactics in approaching and securing a date or relationship. We've all laughed at jokes that weren't that funny at one point in our lives, or used flattery as a mechanism, just a few examples.
I will say, however, that you cannot pick apart her article and say one thing applies to everyone therefore it is just not true. I may not be reading it correctly, but I think she is saying ALL the items presented in her list must be present in order for the person to be deemed a psychopath, not just one or two of the items presented.
She did lose some credibility when she stated to 'call the hospital, ER and Trauma Centers to find out if he was really there.' Under rules of patient doctor confidentiality she would never be able to obtain this information. I was in the ER recently and you check a box "Tell anyone who calls about my condition; Tell only my emergency contact;Tell no one of my status or condition."
I dated a psychopath in every word and way of it's scientific definition for quite a long period of time, 10 years with a 5 year gap in the middle when he moved out of town for work. I'm not just saying that to say it.
He used every single method outlined in her definition. All the items she presented not just one or two. I do not use this term loosely or with everyone I've met or know of.
I won't go into a lot of detail or every item on her list. Some examples of this person's characteristics were.
He would get irate if you discussed anything pertaining to yourself that required any emotional support on his part, but would suck up the sympathy or say, "If you knew where I was last night you wouldn't be saying this stuff." Then proceed to tell me he was in the hospital. We were suppose to go out that night and he never showed or called, when I called the house and spoke with his mother (I'll get to that arrangement in a second) she would only say to me, "He's not here right now." Nothing more. After my third phone call of concern I asked her, "Is he in the hospital?" and she said 'Yes.' Now all she had to do was tell me that the first time I called. I asked him why she didn't just tell me that and he said, "I told her not to." Nothing about it made any sense whatsoever. I would have gladly came to see him if he wanted me to or simply made a phone call, but he says nothing and then wants all my sympathy, after the fact, and uses his situation as a weapon to make me feel bad.
Conversely, he'd call at times when I was maybe up the corner at the drugstore for 15 minutes and I would call him back and there was no answer and I left a message. Again, we were suppose to go out that night. When I did get ahold of him his reasoning was, "I was mad you weren't there when I called." He had a gambling addiction I did not support, I told him he could do what he wanted with his money it was not for me to say, it just wasn't for me. He purposely did what he did in order to cause a reason to be mad so he could go up to the casino and gamble. This happened on more than one occasion. When I called the house again with concern when he didn't show up or call, and expressed we were suppose to go out and I haven't heard from him. Apparently she called him and he jumped all over me about unnecessarily upsetting his mother, and, "Did we have a time set? We didn't have a time set? So, nothing was confirmed." This was just unreal. This was some bizarre, mentally manipulative BS I had never seen before, ever in my life.
We were suppose to go out one night and I got a frantic phone call from a friend of mine telling me a mutual friend's son was just shot and killed in a hunting accident. I went with her and then called him on the phone, so if he called he'd know why I wasn't there and not get mad. When I told him what happened and where I was going, and not to gain any sympathy, he got angry and said, "What the hell are you telling ME this for, I don't want to hear this crap."
Can you drive me to the hospital I think something is wrong. "No, I'm busy leave me alone."
He would send me to the brink of an emotional melt down and I'm not a needy or weak person by any stretch, in phone calls and if I cried, he would say in this low bass voice, "Look at yourself, can you hear yourself. You're pathetic." I couldn't take it anymore.
If we had an issue that kept repeating itself the mature thing to do is address it and make changes or communicate better, or decide if it's something that would continue to happen maybe it's best we part. He would slink off after doing something and 'disappear' for days and then tell me he just thought we needed to take a break, or we can get together as long as I don't have to talk about anything.
When he was out of town he would often call me every night and we'd talk for hours. But, he could never make a simple phone call while he was here.
At 50 he was back home living with his mother after he got divorced. He won a windfall in that situation so it wasn't necessary. He burned through it all rather quickly and didn't want to work. He'd lived with them after his first divorce too which he paid nothing out on.
The sex was fantastic. Over that long of a period of time, it just got better and better and with remarks like, "You make me feel good."
After his second divorce he called me out of the blue and he lived elsewhere at the time and we'd talk for hours and he'd call maybe twice a day. He came home several times and we saw each other then and even gave him a letter to read after the first visit that said something to the effect it was nice seeing you or something, and that we now have to go back to our respective lives. He called me and said, "I hope you don't think this is all trite." Meaning he was actually pursuing something here.
I contacted his ex wife and we talked about it and she had talked to his first wife too. Man, I couldn't believe the stuff I was hearing. Well, actually I could it only confirmed my suspicions.
Why did I stay in an abusive situation like this? Because everything was decent for a while and this stuff didn't start happening until later. I wanted it to work, everyone has issues and relationships take work. Nothing of value comes without effort.
I ended it. He started calling me every day and hanging up. They were blocked calls and I called the Annoyance Hotline and got set up with a service to trace the calls. They were all numbers other than his own cell number. His office, his mother's house and other people's cell phones where he worked. I thought the phone call from the police would be enough. It wasn't. He started to physically stalk me. I noticed his car parked down the street and other places. Then, I get a knock on my door regarding a matter of my stalking him. He'd filed a police report. This was twisted. He subsequently spent time in jail for his actions. I think he has since moved on to his next gravy train, but I still fear he will pop up at any moment.
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