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Asking for hers, definitely. Giving yours too never hurts, however. Might make her a bit less likely to say "who is this?" after you call and tell her your name.
When I was in the dating scene, I give my number first. That throws out all the game playing just in-case she's one of those people who think you're desperate if you call her the same night or a day after. You know, those don't call a chick for 8 weeks BS rules. There's been times where I got a call and didn't. Why should us guys have to put ourselves out there all the way in every category? Some called me when I did that and others didn't. That weeded out the ones who really wasn't interested and just took the number out of kindness.
Numerous downsides to this.
1. You're putting her completely on the spot. If she's not interested, she has no way out.
2. Phoning the number she keys in = kind of like a police tactic. You're implying you don't believe she was honest and gave you a real number, until you hear her phone ring. That's a really negative message. And
3. It sends an intimidating, almost controlling message. It could freak some women out. It's overbearing.
So, you joined here just to say, "give her your ****ing phone"?
1. Maybe I forgot to mention I'm Asian. I think it really depends on culture. A trick like this may be a typical one used in bars in America or in your country, but in my country I've never failed with it. In fact, the look on their faces and eagerness to enter their number tell me they're quite comfortable with this sort of approach. Of course, both of you should have already hung out a couple times or so, then do this when you can feel she's somewhat quite comfortable with you. Don't ask her to key in her number the first time you're meeting of course!
And you're right - the key to this is to 'put her on the spot' so you show that you're leading and she kind of just follows along instead of being given a chance to say yes or no (which has a larger chance of you getting a no). What's the worst that could happen? She just doesn't give you the number. So what? Then move on. You're the man. LEAD.
2. I didn't say 'phoning the number she keys in'. I said she usually phones the number she keys in herself, to check if her own phone rings. This is a good indication that she's not giving you a false number. If she's already keyed in her number, then just store it! What the **** do you want to phone it for??
3. 'sends an intimidating, almost controlling message. It could freak some women out. It's overbearing.' Well then do it your way, and let me know your success rate.
Like I said, do this when you can feel she's somewhat quite comfortable with you. Don't ask her to key in her number the first time you're meeting of course!
I always open my contacts in my phone and ask her to put her number in my phone. I've had women ask me, but I always pull mine out and just have them put theirs in mine. Gives me a night to sleep on it, seeing as us men are the ones that do most of the date scheduling/asking.
Giving someone my number, because asking for hers means that she is expecting me to initiate. I'm a passive person, and always wait for the other person to act first, unless they give me a clear green light to begin with.
If you get her number then you're in control of when you contact her and how to ask for a date. Women generally don't like to call, even if you give her "permission" by giving your number - it's still tough...maybe they'd text which might be as good but still low probability.
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