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Location: Fort Bend County, TX/USA/Mississauga, ON/Canada
2,702 posts, read 6,028,976 times
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I'm just going to answer the question, I don't think these relationship forums are conducive to people who are married/LTR's b/c there is a bunch of negativity on here. It's also not good for Singles to see so much negativity. If your relationship works for you, let them be.
I think they can be harmful to those that aren't comfortable in their skin and try to be something they're not, in order to attract someone.
Up until this week, if I went by CD standards, I would never ever find me a man. EVER. I have a history of mental illness, have taken drugs for my depression, am overweight, was unemployed, not using my degree (but I have one, so I guess that's something), am introverted, am shy, can be lazy, not super ambitious but I have goals, have had WAY too many past sexual partners, will have sex early on, have fwb's, blah blah blah. I would think I could never find a man to like me, for me.
But men like me. Lots of men like me. Hell, some even find me downright sexy (I'm not confident in myself enough to say I'd agree, when in fact, I think they're blind as a bat).
But for me, I'm comfortable with myself and all my "flaws". I like me for me. I have learned to accept my introvertedness, my shyness, the fact that I love sex and will have sex when I want it and couldn't careless what he thinks. That yeah, I'm overweight, but if you want me to lose weight so you'll find me attractive, I'm secure in my own self to say, f-off. There will be men who love me for me. Chubbiness and all. And there will be men who will be absolutely disgusted by me. Whatevers.
So yeah, these forums can do harm to those that hate themselves and who try to be someone they're not. My two cents. If these forums are getting to you, embrace your shortcomings and know that a wonderful woman will find them endearing. You just have to find her. If I could love my crazy issue-filled mentally unstable ex unconditionally.....I'm sure someone will love you.
P.S. I think this forum is a joke anyways and I think most of the threads are started for the fun of it, not to be serious. But that's me. I guess I still have hope that people aren't as clueless as some come off to be.
For people like me who have trouble attracting the opposite sex and lack confidence and can be insecure and get in a negative rut about women these worst fears and stereotypes about women get amplified in my head sometimes from what i read..
Its given me new insecurities things i was never insecure about or knew were huge hinderances like my height being shy etc came on my radar all of a sudden after reading these types of forums as huge negatives to women and made me even worse..[btw im not saying its one sided im sure struggling women feel the same about men after reading these types of forums]
I know theyres alot of good people here who even if therye giving generic cliche advice are trying to help but to read alot of the stuff i see on here and other sites like this makes me think the majority of people are shallow vain self absorbed whackos..
So while i appreciate sites like these and some of the good advice i think it can be more harmful at times then good
How does it compare to advice you receive in real life, and why are you on a forum?
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The problem is you're focusing on the things in life that don't really matter. When I was a kid I had hopes and dreams. We all did. But over time, the daily grind gets in the way and you miss the things that really matter, even though they are right in front of you, staring you in the face. I think the next time you should ask yourself "Am I on the right track here?".
How does it compare to advice you receive in real life, and why are you on a forum?
I really dont ask for advice much in real life when it comes this type of stuff..Id feel pathetic telling my friends how much im struggling with attracting women and some of the reasons it might be
It is like this drug addicts or any addicts will change when they want to . You can give then all the help and tools in the world but if they do not use them then what is the use .
One has to want to change for themselves no amount of wishing someone will change will work.
This place is fun to come visit but you have to keep in mind these are 'drive-by' conversations written by people who just happen to see your post during a certain time period. And even though many of us may be in agreement about certain aspects of our advice to you we may on the whole have very little else in common or at least not enough to want to establish long term personal relationships with each other should we by chance meet. So the way I see it you are getting advice from people who are strangers to you and strangers to each other so you have to keep that in mind.
One thing I think could be beneficial to you would be to back away from the keyboard and get your hind-end out there and meet some real girls and learn how to interact with actual human women. Even though I`m sure there are some fine ladies here; their compassion and concern can only go as far as your computer monitor.
i think they can be harmful to those that aren't comfortable in their skin and try to be something they're not, in order to attract someone.
P.s. I think this forum is a joke anyways and i think most of the threads are started for the fun of it, not to be serious. But that's me. I guess i still have hope that people aren't as clueless as some come off to be.
It is like this drug addicts or any addicts will change when they want to . You can give then all the help and tools in the world but if they do not use them then what is the use .
One has to want to change for themselves no amount of wishing someone will change will work.
Very good point. But at least with a forum like this, there is feedback from all kinds of people, you just need to know how to filter it, what is helpful to your situation and what isn't.
I think blogs and articles can be worse than an interactive forum if you don't know how to read critically, and take someone's opinion as fact and truth.
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