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Old 12-18-2013, 11:46 PM
 
214 posts, read 317,264 times
Reputation: 49

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My bf and I have been dating for two months and we are happy. Im proud of my bf and tell people I know about him. Even before we got into a relationship, when people ask me if Im dating someone I always say yes and that Im dating a great guy. The thing is people I know think Im very attractive so they are curious about the guys I date. They will sometimes encourage me to date their friends or guys they work with.

Since my bf and I officially became bf/gf, when people ask about If Im dating anyone I tell them that I have a bf and not free to date anyone else anymore. Then they ask me to see my bfs picture. Like I said I don't hide him so I show pictures of us together. Then people start making comments that he isn't bad looking but I look more attractive than him. They say it in different other ways but the meaning is the same, we don't have the same level of attractiveness. Some even say that I could do better. Some suggests that I should keep dating and not commit to him. Some has tried to convince me that the other guys I was seeing are better ( I was multi-dating). At first it didn't bother me but the more people say it the more it makes me think if they were right. I feel that I always have to convince them that my bf makes me happy, makes me laugh, treats me really well and those are the things that make him attractive in my eyes.

I agree he is not that attractive physically but I like him a lot and like being around him. I miss him everyday were not together. Today, he drove 35miles one way just so he can take me out for dinner. I told him he doesn't have to because he's gonna hit traffic on the way back but he insisted. He isn't maybe the most handsome guy Ive dated but he is a great guy and treats me like a princess. And no matter what other people say Im not going to break up with him. How do I make people understand that? Thank you.
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Old 12-18-2013, 11:57 PM
 
2,087 posts, read 2,365,358 times
Reputation: 1527
What makes you so much more attractive than him?

I want you to say it in words. Put in words, as in, describe what makes your eyes, nose, and mouth so much more perfect than his.

Brainstorm exercise.

Go!
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Old 12-19-2013, 12:01 AM
 
214 posts, read 317,264 times
Reputation: 49
Quote:
Originally Posted by JJS99 View Post
What makes you so much more attractive than him?

I want you to say it in words. Put in words, as in, describe what makes your eyes, nose, and mouth so much more perfect than his.

Brainstorm exercise.

Go!
I did not say I am more attractive. Other people said it. To me he is very attractive in his own way. Thats why Im with him.
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Old 12-19-2013, 12:03 AM
 
14,439 posts, read 17,355,312 times
Reputation: 11240
This story sounds completely made up or like another man (who likes you- surprise!) has said.
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Old 12-19-2013, 12:17 AM
 
2,087 posts, read 2,365,358 times
Reputation: 1527
Quote:
Originally Posted by srjth View Post
This story sounds completely made up.
I hope that you are right.
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Old 12-19-2013, 02:01 AM
 
Location: Canada
9,068 posts, read 8,336,310 times
Reputation: 19425
Who are all these "people" and why do you care what they think?
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Old 12-19-2013, 03:38 AM
 
Location: Katonah, NY
21,188 posts, read 20,991,220 times
Reputation: 22134
Who care what anyone else thinks? I has a couple friends say similar things to me in college. I just told them that the guys were hot to me. Attraction is based on more than just physical appearances.
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Old 12-19-2013, 07:21 AM
 
Location: Brentwood, Tennessee
43,154 posts, read 41,752,473 times
Reputation: 82879
I'm really starting to think you like making up problems.

Some people thrive on controversy, and you seem to be one of those, like you can't be happy if things are going well.

At any rate, the solution to your non-problem is simple: It doesn't matter what others think.

UNLESS...

You are so insecure about your own self-image that you LET the opinions of others guide your decisions. It's called a reflected sense of self.

Do you like him? You've spent enough time writing threads here on HOW to make him your BF, so I guess so.

If YOU like him, tell those who say such insulting things that you don't appreciate it. Live your own life.
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Old 12-19-2013, 07:50 AM
 
Location: The point of no return, er, NorCal
7,224 posts, read 4,644,337 times
Reputation: 9283
I realize people date or marry "down" according to what others think. It's not uncommon for women to date or marry an average looking man or a man who is not as attractive as they are. However, what matters most is how you feel, and whether you're attracted to your partner. That's it. Pay no mind to what other people say.
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Old 12-19-2013, 07:59 AM
 
Location: Up above the world so high!
45,269 posts, read 88,498,926 times
Reputation: 39856
Quote:
Originally Posted by Missnoname View Post
My bf and I have been dating for two months and we are happy. Im proud of my bf and tell people I know about him. Even before we got into a relationship, when people ask me if Im dating someone I always say yes and that Im dating a great guy. The thing is people I know think Im very attractive so they are curious about the guys I date. They will sometimes encourage me to date their friends or guys they work with.

Since my bf and I officially became bf/gf, when people ask about If Im dating anyone I tell them that I have a bf and not free to date anyone else anymore. Then they ask me to see my bfs picture. Like I said I don't hide him so I show pictures of us together. Then people start making comments that he isn't bad looking but I look more attractive than him. They say it in different other ways but the meaning is the same, we don't have the same level of attractiveness. Some even say that I could do better. Some suggests that I should keep dating and not commit to him. Some has tried to convince me that the other guys I was seeing are better ( I was multi-dating). At first it didn't bother me but the more people say it the more it makes me think if they were right. I feel that I always have to convince them that my bf makes me happy, makes me laugh, treats me really well and those are the things that make him attractive in my eyes.

I agree he is not that attractive physically but I like him a lot and like being around him. I miss him everyday were not together. Today, he drove 35miles one way just so he can take me out for dinner. I told him he doesn't have to because he's gonna hit traffic on the way back but he insisted. He isn't maybe the most handsome guy Ive dated but he is a great guy and treats me like a princess. And no matter what other people say Im not going to break up with him. How do I make people understand that? Thank you.

Why would you want to waste your time doing that?

Ask yourself, "self, why do I care at all what other people think about me and my choices?".

That's the very important question you need an answer to.
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