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Location: RI, MA, VT, WI, IL, CA, IN (that one sucked), KY
41,936 posts, read 36,957,550 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by birdinmigration
Why is everyone being so mean to the OP? If you don't want to answer his question in a rational kind way, just don't answer. There's no excuse for the shaming.
And shame on all of you who answered him like that.
No really, I don't care, I don't read everything posted with the view of responding.
I read bits of maybe 2 or at the most 3 threads a day or per week or whatever. If it sounds interesting, I click.
Presumably threads posted are not just for the benefit of the person asking the question. There are countless others out there who might find this group with a search and never post. Think about answering for THEIR benefit.
I never give up on anyone. I always think there are endless opportunities for people to change and improve, myself included.
Why is everyone being so mean to the OP? If you don't want to answer his question in a rational kind way, just don't answer. There's no excuse for the shaming.
And shame on all of you who answered him like that.
Some people's reply to the OP is based on the nature and frequency of his questions. You may like to read parts of a couple threads a day. The OP often makes a couple threads a day, and has been doing so some time. So those who are more active in the forum know a lot of his history, alleged problems, and what he has already been told.
Sometimes, being "nice" needs to be done through tough love too.
Why is everyone being so mean to the OP? If you don't want to answer his question in a rational kind way, just don't answer. There's no excuse for the shaming.
And shame on all of you who answered him like that.
Because he asks some version of the same damned question day after day after day after day after day after day after day after day after day after day after day after day after day after day after day after day after day after day after day after day after day after day after day after day after day after day after day after day after day after day after day after day after day after day after day after day after day after day after day after day after day after day after day after day after day after day after day after day after day after day after day after day after day after day after day after day after day after day after day after day after day after day after day after day after day after day after day after day after day after day after day after day after day after day after day after day after day after day after day after day after day after day after day after day after day after day after day after day after day after day after day after day after day after day after day after day after day after day after day after day.
Hey. I'm more patient than most. But it occurs to me that this guy isn't actually interested in changing his approach. This guy isn't actually wanting to maybe actually be desirable to a member of the opposite sex. This guy isn't actually thinking, "Hmmm. I'll try something different this time." He isn't reporting changing his haircut or working out or picking up a new set of duds or taking a few cooking classes or joining some organization. Nope. It's always the same basic question asked by someone who really won't help himself.
Instead, what this guy wants is the magic amulet, the manipulative few words that will make women overlook his shortcomings to be with him. It is not an act of poor self-esteem on his part, but rather evidence of a conceit. Because, deep down, he is uninterested in changing or else he would have done so already. He would have modified his approach and would be happily reporting that he's found a really great woman with whom to share his life. Instead he bleats out these pathetic gambits for our attention as the next best thing.
Now do you get it? I'm not trying to be mean. I'm trying to deliver a smack across the chops, saying in effect, "Snap out of it!" I'm trying to perform the kindest thing possible for this nebbish by confronting him with the awful truth. Because if he is this tedious and insecure in real life, then his odds of finding love in his life are around zero.
Because he asks some version of the same damned question day after day after day after day after day after day after day after day after day after day after day after day after day after day after day after day after day after day after day after day after day after day after day after day after day after day after day after day after day after day after day after day after day after day after day after day after day after day after day after day after day after day after day after day after day after day after day after day after day after day after day after day after day after day after day after day after day after day after day after day after day after day after day after day after day after day after day after day after day after day after day after day after day after day after day after day after day after day after day after day after day after day after day after day after day after day after day after day after day after day after day after day after day after day after day after day after day after day after day after day.
Hey. I'm more patient than most. But it occurs to me that this guy isn't actually interested in changing his approach. This guy isn't actually wanting to maybe actually be desirable to a member of the opposite sex. This guy isn't actually thinking, "Hmmm. I'll try something different this time." He isn't reporting changing his haircut or working out or picking up a new set of duds or taking a few cooking classes or joining some organization. Nope. It's always the same basic question asked by someone who really won't help himself.
Instead, what this guy wants is the magic amulet, the manipulative few words that will make women overlook his shortcomings to be with him. It is not an act of poor self-esteem on his part, but rather evidence of a conceit. Because, deep down, he is uninterested in changing or else he would have done so already. He would have modified his approach and would be happily reporting that he's found a really great woman with whom to share his life. Instead he bleats out these pathetic gambits for our attention as the next best thing.
Now do you get it? I'm not trying to be mean. I'm trying to deliver a smack across the chops, saying in effect, "Snap out of it!" I'm trying to perform the kindest thing possible for this nebbish by confronting him with the awful truth. Because if he is this tedious and insecure in real life, then his odds of finding love in his life are around zero.
Okay, wow.
This says much more about you than it does the OP. I mean, right?
As in "is this really the best use of your valuable time?" Including the 'after day'-arrhea above. That's fascinating!
There's a simple remedy for your sick-to-death-ness of this or any other poster. Just don't click on his threads. Solved!
This says much more about you than it does the OP. I mean, right?
As in "is this really the best use of your valuable time?" Including the 'after day'-arrhea above. That's fascinating!
There's a simple remedy for your sick-to-death-ness of this or any other poster. Just don't click on his threads. Solved!
(bird not saying 'Get A Life', so)
Bird, cpg is one of the wisest men on this forum.
He dispenses solid real world advice that has no doubt helped countless young men here in need of a good man's point of view.
What his post you referenced above "says about" him is that he is frustrated with HurricaneKid and others like him who are their own worst enemies.
They post here like they really want help and advice, but in reality they are so self-involved that it becomes clear they want nothing but attention.
Those of us here who really do care resort to tough love as a last ditch effort to shake some sense into people who are otherwise very intelligent but can't get out of their own way to save their lives.
When I see a kid playing in traffic I'm not going to call nicely and sweetly to him to come on out of it.
I'm going to yell at him like a drill sargeant to alert him to the immediacy of removing himself from danger, get it?
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