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A man who respects me doesn't expect me to be waiting around for his convenience, especially when he thinks he can drop in when he wants and simply not show up when he has scheduled.
A man who respects me, listens to my opinions. He can disagree, but he does not belittle or ignore.
A man who respects me introduces me, with pride, to his friends and family and includes me in activities.
A man who respects me notices when I do something for him and he appreciates it and doesn't take it for granted as his right.
A man who respects me can hear the word "no" and understand what it means. He doesn't try to induce guilt to pressure me to do things I don't want to do.
A man who respects me is willing to give something in the relationship to me and does not arrange the relationship so it is all about him and his needs.
Abuse, bullying, threats are simply a deal breaker and a very quick end to any sort of relationship that might have been forming. It's not acceptable and it isn't happening. He can pack that behavior up and take it elsewhere.
A man who respects me doesn't expect me to be waiting around for his convenience, especially when he thinks he can drop in when he wants and simply not show up when he has scheduled.
A man who respects me, listens to my opinions. He can disagree, but he does not belittle or ignore.
A man who respects me introduces me, with pride, to his friends and family and includes me in activities.
A man who respects me notices when I do something for him and he appreciates it and doesn't take it for granted as his right.
A man who respects me can hear the word "no" and understand what it means. He doesn't try to induce guilt to pressure me to do things I don't want to do.
A man who respects me is willing to give something in the relationship to me and does not arrange the relationship so it is all about him and his needs.
Abuse, bullying, threats are simply a deal breaker and a very quick end to any sort of relationship that might have been forming. It's not acceptable and it isn't happening. He can pack that behavior up and take it elsewhere.
I really love your list!!!!! It is great! #1, 3, and 4 stand out to me the most!
A man who respects me doesn't expect me to be waiting around for his convenience, especially when he thinks he can drop in when he wants and simply not show up when he has scheduled.
A man who respects me, listens to my opinions. He can disagree, but he does not belittle or ignore.
A man who respects me introduces me, with pride, to his friends and family and includes me in activities.
A man who respects me notices when I do something for him and he appreciates it and doesn't take it for granted as his right.
A man who respects me can hear the word "no" and understand what it means. He doesn't try to induce guilt to pressure me to do things I don't want to do.
A man who respects me is willing to give something in the relationship to me and does not arrange the relationship so it is all about him and his needs.
Abuse, bullying, threats are simply a deal breaker and a very quick end to any sort of relationship that might have been forming. It's not acceptable and it isn't happening. He can pack that behavior up and take it elsewhere.
Good list.
I am curious, what would you call it if someone didn't meet this list?
If someone did the opposite of any of the above items ?
Would it be the opposite of respect? Or just not someone you would be interested in a relationship with ?
I really love your list!!!!! It is great! #1, 3, and 4 stand out to me the most!
To be honest with you and from what I have learned... Respect is something you earn.
Respect needs to be tested as well.
Oh sure you can say you respect someone but under extreme pressure of a situation can really show whether or not your actions are in harmony with your words.
To be honest with you and from what I have learned... Respect is something you earn.
Respect needs to be tested as well.
Oh sure you can say you respect someone but under extreme pressure of a situation can really show whether or not your actions are in harmony with your words.
I am not so sure that I understand your point clearly.
To me, if a woman or man does not treat me with respect, I don't really want to be with them. Why be with someone who makes you feel like crap? People can only treat you bad if you "let" them to. When you cut them out of your life, you are telling them what is not acceptable to you.
From what you are saying, I gather that you are talking from a person who IS giving respect or no respect to another person. The only problem I see with me treating another person disrespectfully is that I disrespect myself during the process. I will NOT lower myself and behave badly or differently to anyone just because someone does not "earn" it. I don't see myself as capable of doing that. Not sure if this is what you mean but this is my best shot in the dark
In other words, respecting others is who I am. If others induce other kind of emotions/behaviors from me, then I either limit my contact with them or tell them in some way
To be honest with you and from what I have learned... Respect is something you earn.
Respect needs to be tested as well.
Oh sure you can say you respect someone but under extreme pressure of a situation can really show whether or not your actions are in harmony with your words.
I thought the discussion was about the essence of respect, not how to acquire it?
Quote:
Originally Posted by Mimi85
I am not so sure that I understand your point clearly.
To me, if a woman or man does not treat me with respect, I don't really want to be with them. Why be with someone who makes you feel like crap? People can only treat you bad if you "let" them to. When you cut them out of your life, you are telling them what is not acceptable to you.
From what you are saying, I gather that you are talking from a person who IS giving respect or no respect to another person. The only problem I see with me treating another person disrespectfully is that I disrespect myself during the process. I will NOT lower myself and behave badly or differently to anyone just because someone does not "earn" it. I don't see myself as capable of doing that. Not sure if this is what you mean but this is my best shot in the dark
In other words, respecting others is who I am. If others induce other kind of emotions/behaviors from me, then I either limit my contact with them or tell them in some way
what if it happens in the workplace or by a neighbor, it's not always an option to just walk away
I thought the discussion was about the essence of respect, not how to acquire it?
what if it happens in the workplace or by a neighbor, it's not always an option to just walk away
You worded it so much better than I can .....
For your question to me --it's better to give it some context. Let's say your neighbor's dog come over to your front yard and messed it up. You talked to your neighbor but she/he didn't do anything to stop it. Is he/she disrespecting you? I think so, in addition to violating your property. Now, if you are a "respectful" person in my perception, you don't go other there and start messing up his lawn too right? You would notify authority to handle the problem.
In relationship too, let's say a guy is cheating on me, would I cheat back to get my revenge on him? I can, but I don't think I would feel so good about that. I rather let him go and find someone who cares about me more than him. Besides, if I do cheat back, then I am now be labelled as a cheater too. So I prefer to end the relationship civilly.
For your question to me --it's better to give it some context. Let's say your neighbor's dog come over to your front yard and messed it up. You talked to your neighbor but she/he didn't do anything to stop it. Is he/she disrespecting you? I think so, in addition to violating your property. Now, if you are a "respectful" person in my perception, you don't go other there and start messing up his lawn too right? You would notify authority to handle the problem.
In relationship too, let's say a guy is cheating on me, would I cheat back to get my revenge on him? I can, but I don't think I would feel so good about that. I rather let him go and find someone who cares about me more than him. Besides, if I do cheat back, then I am now be labelled as a cheater too. So I prefer to end the relationship civilly.
Do these examples answer your question or no?
Ye it sounds like you share my policy, in not taking revenges that doesn't contain gain, and especially not those that are destructive on both parts.
I have seen a lot of people seem to think that the important thing is to take the revenge without considering the longer game. if in your example you mess up your bad neighbors lawn in return, you've essentially entered a "neighbor war" which is going to continue to cause problems as the revenge against the revenge rages on...
To me "revenge" and "self respect" are two very different concepts, and self respect is served poorly with revenge.
I had a date a while a go where the girl ended up stealing my watch, I knocked on her door and put my foot in it when she opened, and had a long discussion about it. She tried to beat me and push me out, but the weight and strength ratio between us basically meant she was powerless, and couldn't hurt me in spite of trying for the first 5-10 minutes. While I strongly felt like making use of the fact that my bodymass is about twice of hers and simply beating my way through her home until I found it, I didn't. Neither did I call the cops.
Why? because no matter what pain I cause her for stealing my watch I would have no gain or even a great loss in going to prison. If I would have called the cops I would effectively be wasting tax money as well as my own time in a case that would never lead to me getting anything back. I suppose she gave it to the pawnshop for some money or something, but I'll never know.
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