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I know we as humans are sexual creatures, but it bothers me a lot that even on a first date the issue of sex will come up. I don't try to give off this type of aura. I dress as conservatively as possible, am interested in many topics such as art and classical music, share my interests with my date..but for some reason the conversation always comes back to sex. Even a small comment, such as 'you have such nice lips'. Is this really a compliment? My best male friend constantly asks me to take pictures of my chest and lower body area and text or "sext" them to him and I always tell him I do not want to. But he persists. It's like he won't give up and I have begun questioning our friendship. Even an ex who I consider a friend does this. I know they should probably be dropped, but I hardly have any friends as is.
I'm almost 30 (now 28) and fear that I will never date again due to this instant turn-off I have. What happened to giving it some time before such matters were discussed. I really don't want to bring race into this, but I am a black woman dating primarily black men, and I'm just thinking maybe I need to date outside of my race. I mean, you never know. Maybe it will be the same, maybe it won't. I honestly think a break is in order and I'll resume dating when I am 30.
I honestly just would like some friendly conversation. Is this too much to ask?
I don't know what kind of dudes you go with, but I've never brought up anything remotely sexual at first with a woman... and a lot of guys I know follow suit. I usually wait till she says something or jokes around about it first....
Your "friends" who want you to send photos of yourself like that are NOT FRIENDS.
As far as the conversation with a date goes when the topic comes up change the topic and if they persist and you are not comfortable tell them you do not discuss your sexual activities on a first, second, third date, etc.
If they still insist leave and tell them why you are leaving.
chow is right,,,ive never made comments like that - to make a girl feel uncomfortable,,
first dates are just that ...its like an interview.....2nd dates are different,,,so have many first dates and weed thru the guys...
you will come across one you will like..
I don't know what kind of dudes you go with, but I've never brought up anything remotely sexual at first with a woman... and a lot of guys I know follow suit. I usually wait till she says something or jokes around about it first....
I'm questioning this myself...and considering visiting a psychiatrist to help me sort these things out.
Quote:
Originally Posted by CSD610
Your "friends" who want you to send photos of yourself like that are NOT FRIENDS.
As far as the conversation with a date goes when the topic comes up change the topic and if they persist and you are not comfortable tell them you do not discuss your sexual activities on a first, second, third date, etc.
If they still insist leave and tell them why you are leaving.
I agree CSD - I mean, I guess courting is non-existent in this day and age. I don't want to be considered a "prude" but I also don't want a guy to think this subject matter is appropriate..
No offense OP, but the very first thing you lead off with was sex. To me, that is opportunity. I can be subtle or blunt, buyt you approached me with the concept. I suspect you attract men like me
I know we as humans are sexual creatures, but it bothers me a lot that even on a first date the issue of sex will come up. I don't try to give off this type of aura. I dress as conservatively as possible, am interested in many topics such as art and classical music, share my interests with my date..but for some reason the conversation always comes back to sex. Even a small comment, such as 'you have such nice lips'. Is this really a compliment? My best male friend constantly asks me to take pictures of my chest and lower body area and text or "sext" them to him and I always tell him I do not want to. But he persists. It's like he won't give up and I have begun questioning our friendship. Even an ex who I consider a friend does this. I know they should probably be dropped, but I hardly have any friends as is.
I'm almost 30 (now 28) and fear that I will never date again due to this instant turn-off I have. What happened to giving it some time before such matters were discussed. I really don't want to bring race into this, but I am a black woman dating primarily black men, and I'm just thinking maybe I need to date outside of my race. I mean, you never know. Maybe it will be the same, maybe it won't. I honestly think a break is in order and I'll resume dating when I am 30.
I honestly just would like some friendly conversation. Is this too much to ask?
chow is right,,,ive never made comments like that - to make a girl feel uncomfortable,,
first dates are just that ...its like an interview.....2nd dates are different,,,so have many first dates and weed thru the guys...
you will come across one you will like..
not all guys are pigs
It made me feel uncomfortable. I think the first sign was during the movie when he wanted to hold my hand and started rubbing it using the "your hands are so cold" excuse. Awkward. I mean, how do I get out of that type of situation? I was just hoping he'd stop! He must have held and rubbed my hand for about a half hour.
Maybe after this he thought it was okay to bring up a more personal conversation during dinner. My fault.
No offense OP, but the very first thing you lead off with was sex. To me, that is opportunity. I can be subtle or blunt, buyt you approached me with the concept. I suspect you attract men like me
Well, how can I do the opposite of this? Please share your sentiments.
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